Title: Second Hand Emotion
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com
Warnings: This story contains explicit m/m sex.
Archive: Warm Thoughts others just ask.
Disclaimer: The characters of Skinner, Krycek, Scully, Mulder, Doggett and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright infringement is intended no money is being made.
Summary: Sequel to Tainted Love.
It had been three days since Mulder's email. I had decided the information was wrong. The day was warm and I was sitting on the porch swing trying to read the latest Clancy. I'm not sure why I looked up but a car was slowing down on the main road. It stopped next to the mailbox then eased forward to turn into the rutted road leading up to the house.
Whoever was driving was going slow. Good thing too or he might have lost his axle. I waited, knowing in my gut it was him. He pulled up into the wide space near the porch. I stood and waited, still not sure what I would do.
He stepped out of the car. We stood for an eternity just looking at each other.
"It's a long drive, want something to drink?"
"Sure, if you don't mind."
"Come in then."
I turned and walked into the house without looking back. I heard the door hinge squeak as he opened the door, then his footsteps following me. I opened the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of tea I'd made a couple of hours before.
"Do you want lemon? I seem to remember you liked lemon in your iced tea."
"Yes, thank you."
"Well, have a seat."
I pulled out glasses and poured the tea, sweetened with sugar while it was still warm. I set a glass in front of him and then grabbed a lemon from the bowl on the counter. A couple of cuts, another smaller bowl, and the lemon was set in front of him. As he doctored his tea I pulled out the coffeecake I'd baked that morning. I was becoming quite domestic in my dotage. He gave me a brief smile as I placed a healthy portion of cake in front of him.
"Looks good, Walter."
"It is good."
He took a bite and then a sip of tea and smiled again. I waited as he ate his cake, sipping at my own glass of tea. Finally, he looked up at me.
"I wasn't sure you'd let me in. Figured you'd shoot me and claim I was trespassing."
"Didn't have my piece handy. Why are you here?"
Part of me wanted to throw him down and kiss him breathless, part still wanted to slug him. I was wearing my AD face to make sure none of that showed.
"I owe you."
"I hurt you. That was wrong."
"Yes, it was. But I still don't understand why you are here."
I almost held my breath then, wanting to hear him say those words again, but not sure what I would do if he did. I almost dropped my glass when he stood and began to undress.
"What the fuck are you doing?"
He looked at me with that lost boy look that I remembered from the night he had first tried to seduce me and I had tried to say no.
"Getting ready for you to take your revenge. I owe you that."
I sat flabbergasted as he finished stripping. No words would come, not even when he removed his prosthesis. He stood before me his gaze unflinching. When I didn't speak, he tilted his head, looking puzzled.
"Where do you want me, Walter? All I ask is that I'm able to drive when you're through. I don't want any injuries to be traced back to you so it's better if I'm found somewhere else. I stopped to get a motel room not too far from here. I'll go back there when you finish with me."
I stared at him so long his eyes dropped from mine. So long in fact, he started to fidget. Had he come to me with this offer during the first month after that weekend of torture my anger might have led me to hurt him. But I'd had almost a year to think it through.
I had only been with Mulder once. He wasn't what I wanted. Besides, he had always loved Scully. He just liked having a cock up his ass now and again. Must have been a hold over from his Oxford days. Privately, I didn't think that would change but I also knew he'd always be discreet, he'd never take a chance on taking anything home to her.
I looked at his body while I tried to decide how to proceed. Even scarred he was still beautiful to me. I still wanted him. Didn't for a minute believe we could make it work, but I coveted him all the same.
"What made you come here? Making me an offer like this?"
"I heard that you were living out here, alone. Heard that Mulder and Scully got married. That made me think I may have been wrong. Was I? Was Mulder just a fling?"
"He wouldn't even rate as that. It was a one-night stand. I was drunk and he was horny."
He raised his head and looked at me then. His eyes so pain filled it hurt to look at them. His voice when he spoke was so low I almost didn't catch it.
"So, I fucked off what I had with you for nothing. You might have come to love me if I'dů"
I let him stew in his thoughts for a long moment. Guess I wanted a little revenge after all. Then I stood, took him by his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen and to the bedroom. He followed me without resistance.
In the bedroom I pushed him gently toward the bed. I walked to the closet as he tugged the duvet down toward the end of the bed. I opened the closet and removed several of the ties I no longer wore. By the time I had turned back he was lying face down on the bed, my pillows under his hips.
I didn't speak as I secured him to my bed. I had often fantasized about having him helpless during the time he was making me jump through hoops. All those fantasies involved pain. Now, I just wanted to figure out how to make him stay. How to heal our hurts and go forward.
Words have never been easy for me. Add that to the macho bullshit every man is capable of and stir in a male lover and you have a perfect recipe for failure. If he had confronted me about Mulder we might have gone down a different road. But I was as guilty. Had I told him the truth when he had me boundů Best to not go there the past couldn't be changed no matter how much we might want it to be.
I undressed as silently as I had done everything for the past few minutes. He didn't even test the ties holding him in place. His eyes were closed but had they been open I'm sure they would have shown surrender.
I opened the drawer by the bed, removing the lube and condoms. His eyes opened as he heard the sound of the condoms being ripped apart. He stared as I rolled one on. Then he closed his eyes again. He gasped as I smeared lube between his cheeks. I knew he had been expecting a dry fuck.
Once I had him slick I rubbed the rest of the lube onto my covered cock. Kneeling carefully between his legs I positioned myself. He sucked in a deep breath that escaped from him in a long sigh as I slipped into him slowly and gently.
"I don't think you're going to be able to drive when I'm through with you. I intend to take my revenge slowly. A little every day for the rest of our lives."
I pulled out then and thrust back into to him angling to hit his prostate. His quickly cut off squeal made me smile. I nuzzled against his throat locating the spot I knew drove him wild.
His voice was a husky whisper. "I don't understand. Don't you want to hurt me?"
"I think we've hurt each other enough, Alex. I think it's time for us to admit that we want each other, that we belong to each other."
"But me no buts, Alex. The longer you argue with me the longer you're going to spend tied to my bed. For the next little while all I want to hear from you is please, harder, fuck me, or I'm coming. Sighs, whimpers, whines and screams are all acceptable as well. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I understand."
He shifted a little under me and tightened his muscles around me. I bit my lip, needing pain to distract my cock. I took my time, going still inside him every time I was close to coming. He obeyed me quite well for a long time. All his need echoing back at us from the bare walls of the room.
When he finally let the words flow I gave up trying to hold back.
"Harder, Walter, please! I need to come!"
I drove in deep, reaching under him to grasp his dick. I pumped him hard and fast, my climax roaring through me as his ass tried to pull me farther inside. He made a strangled noise as his cock erupted in my hand. I collapsed onto his back as I tried to fill my oxygen-starved lungs.
Finally, I rolled off him to the sound of a low moan. I untied him, pulled him into my arms and kissed him.
"I wasn't expecting that."
"I know. I wasn't sure myself what I'd do when you showed up."
"Is it all right if I say I like your decision?"
"Say what you feel, Alex. I think it's time we both did. Let's shower and we'll go enjoy the sunset before we eat dinner."
I led him to the bathroom and we bathed each other. I held him close on the swing as we watched the sun go down. We didn't talk much that night or for the next several days. We went and got his things from the motel, took the rental car back.
For that first month we were careful with each other. We spent a lot of time messing up the sheets. I bottomed as often as I topped. And slowly we began to tell each other the things we should have long ago. I can't remember which one of us said it first. And you know it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that it was dropped casually into a conversation and we weren't fucking at the time.
That was five years ago. The best five years of my life. I hope he feels the same. I think he does.
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