Title: 'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy
Author: Peach
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com Fandom: X-Files
Pairings: Skinner/Krycek
Warnings: none
Rating: NC17
Date: 08/25/03
Archive: If I posted to your list it's yours.
Website: http://us.reocities.com/peach1250/index.html
Disclaimer: The characters of the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright infringement is intended no money is being made.
Summary: Supernatural goings-on.
NOTES: Sequel to There's a Bathroom on the Right. Opening lines by Ursula. #9 Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy: And Other Misheard Lyrics.




"Right, Mulder, where? Certainly not here in the middle of Crystal City."

How he had managed to convince her to come out in the middle of the night again, she wasn't sure. She should have been at home in bed, not staking out a suburban neighborhood. Her only consolation was that he wouldn't be asking her to come out again tomorrow night because werewolves only frolicked during a full moon.


Wolf Walter

Walter ran through the night, joyous in his companionship with his lover. During the last few months, he'd come to enjoy the freedom his new status afforded. He felt so alive - more so than ever before.

Alex was racing like the wind along the trail in the park, Walter not far behind. He slowed to allow Walter to catch up when they reached the open area of the park. Walter ran up and the two played, tumbling over the ground with each other.

Scully had fallen asleep, and Mulder was feeling a little groggy himself, when he saw the wolves race into the open field of the park.

The smaller of the two was black, its sleek full coat gleaming in the moonlight. The larger was silver gray with just a hint of black around its face. Mulder lifted the binoculars from the seat and focused in on them.

He expected to find one to be female, but the sharp focus of the field glasses showed him they were both definitely male, no mistaking the sacs hanging in back for anything other than male genitalia.

As he watched, they pounced upon each other, growling and nipping in what was obviously play behavior. Then the black one mounted the other from behind.

Mulder watched, a little stunned, as the gray settled quite docilely down to allow the black one better access. His surprise increased as the black one began to hump the gray.

The gray's head turned as the black nipped lightly at his neck, the two heads then rubbed in a caressing motion. As the humping became more frantic, the gray seemed to be straining to push back into the black wolf.

As the black raised his head and howled at the big moon above, Scully startled awake. She looked out the window at the two creatures on the lawn. Not having seen what Mulder had, she took them for a male and female.

"Mulder, let's get after them, they'll be locked together; it's the perfect opportunity!"

She jumped from the car and the slamming door alerted the wolves to the watchers. Mulder followed her, fearful of her safety. The two wolves were up, running away from them. Scully stopped, shocked that they could separate. Mulder, however, ran full tilt after them.

Alex glanced back to see Mulder chasing them and Scully standing behind, watching. He bumped lightly against Walter to get his attention and then veered off the path and through the woods.

As Mulder continued to chase them, Scully ran back to the car in an attempt to outflank them. Walter and Alex knew they could outrun Mulder, so they had no fear of being caught. But it was getting late, time to go home, and they had no desire to lead him there.

The lovers exited the park on a side street just a few blocks from their house, only to be nearly run over by Scully. Alex dodged nimbly, but the bumper caught Walter's hip, sending him rolling across the asphalt.

Alex heard his bark of pain and came to a halt, looking back. Walter lay on the street trying to catch his breath as Scully jumped from the car, pulling her weapon. Alex was instantly on the move, running to Walter's side.

He crouched, tail down, teeth bared and growled his best 'get-the-fuck-away' growl. He paid no attention to Mulder as he came running out of the park. His only focus was on his lover's defense and Scully was the one with the weapon.

He had never killed in wolf form, but he was prepared to rip out both their throats if that was the only way to keep Walter safe. He heard a low whimper from behind him and then movement.

Mulder stopped next to Scully, looking at the two animals. The headlights of the car let him see things he couldn't under just moonlight. The black one crouched in a defensive posture in front of his mate. The green eyes showed an intelligence Mulder had not expected. And the fact that the wolf had made no move to attack was strange as well.

Looking past the black wolf to his mate, he saw pain in the warm brown eyes - pain and something familiar, that he couldn't quite connect. Holding out his hands, he spoke softly.

"We don't want to hurt you. Let me help him."

The black wolf turned his head to look at Mulder, then back to focus on the gun in Scully's hand.

"Scully, put that away. You won't need it."

"Are you insane, Mulder?"

"Scully, he's defending his mate, nothing more. If he were going to attack us, he would have by now."

Mulder didn't wait for her response, he just moved slowly toward the injured animal. Alex kept his attention on Scully as Mulder knelt next to Walter. Mulder held out his hand to Walter the way he'd been taught to introduce himself to dogs. Walter acknowledged the gesture by touching Mulder's hand with his nose.

Mulder then carefully ran a hand over the large wolf, noting the softness of the pelt. He found no signs of anything broken. Speaking quietly, he reached up and rubbed Walter behind the ears.

"You don't seem to have anything broken, but I bet you'll be sore for a few days. You're certainly a handsome boy."

"Boy? What do you mean boy?" Scully's voice sounded surprised.

"They're both male, Scully."

"But you said they were mates and they were copulating!"

"I guess wolves can be gay."

Mulder received a wolf grin from Walter as Alex backed up next to them, keeping one eye on Scully as he checked on Walter. He realized that Mulder was petting Walter, and immediately forgot about Scully. Pushing between Mulder and Walter, he gave a warning growl.

Mulder watched as the gray nuzzled his face against the black before getting slowly to his feet. A short bark, and the two ran off across the street and around the corner.

"Mulder, get in the car; we can follow them."

"Let them go, Scully. They aren't the ones causing the problem."

Alex looked back to see that Mulder wasn't following; he just stood and watched as they ran. Scully was yelling at him, but he was making no move to do what she wanted.

They reached home and slipped through the entrance Walter had made for them in the fence. The bushes he'd planted on that side of the house concealed it.

Once back inside the house, they settled close to each other and went to sleep. The next morning when Alex woke, he went into the bathroom to run a hot bath. Walter would be sore from the accident.

Walter soon came into the room, walking carefully. There was a large bruise on his hip from the bumper. Alex kissed his cheek.

"I think you have grounds for firing Scully."

"I don't think she was trying to hit me. I'm just not quite as fast as you."

Alex touched the bruise tenderly. "Hurt bad?"

"It's pretty tender but I'll live. I guess Mulder has decided to leave us alone."

Alex chuckled, "Think he enjoyed watching us fuck?"

"He thinks it was two wolves, Alex. I don't think he's into bestiality."

"I don't know...you're hot stuff, human or wolf."

"Well, come on and soak with your hot stuff in the tub. Then you can make breakfast."

"You know, I should have bitten her for putting a crimp in my sex life."

"Bruise or no bruise, we can still fuck, Alex."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't."

Walter held onto Alex for support as he stepped into the tub. And as predicted, Alex didn't hurt him at all when they made love later that day.


Mulder sat in the car, waiting. It didn't take long for the two shapes he was expecting to run into the clearing. Picking up the binoculars, he watched as the wolves played and had sex.

They were truly magnificent animals and looked so good together. Tonight he might follow them and find out who they were, or maybe not. Knowing would make him feel too voyeuristic. As long as he didn't know their real identities he could pretend he was just watching two animals play in the park.

Alex and Walter knew he was there, knew he watched. So they put on an excellent show. Mulder deserved some entertainment for his kindness of the month before.

The end

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