Title: Dirty Talk
Author: Peach
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com <Peach1250@aol.com >
Fandom: X-Files
Pairings: Skinner/Krycek
Warnings: This story contains a m/m sexual relationship.
Rating: R
Date: 07/08/03
Archive: If I posted to your list it's yours.
Website: http://us.reocities.com/peach1250/index.html
Disclaimer: The characters of Skinner, Krycek and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright infringement is intended no money is being made.
Summary: Conversations; a sequel of sorts to B Movies.
NOTES: An answer to my own challenge; Nick Lea's character in Shot in the Face uses several euphemisms for sex. The challenge is simple, use them in a story.

Wouldn't mind doing a little flag waving on your hill, you know?

A little deer huntin' in your woods.

A little sparrin' in your dojo.

Some push-ups in your gym.

Some peering through your window.



"Wouldn't mind doing a little flag waving on your hill, you know?" The low sexy voice crooned in his ear.

Walter snorted, while at the same time a shiver ran down his body. "Got a nice flag, do you?"

"Oh yeah, not as big as some I know, but it's a real beauty." This time, a wet tongue running along his ear followed the words.

Walter suddenly found his jeans to be a bit too tight. His heart raced as a talented hand worked its way under his shirt to find a nipple to toy with. When he was nudged toward the chair and pushed down over the back of it, he whimpered out loud.

It just wasn't fucking fair. Not when Alex knew exactly how to push all his buttons.


"Alex, what the hell is this rifle doing here?"

"You said we were going up to your family cabin, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did. But what are you going to do with a rifle?"

"A little deer huntin' in your woods."

Walter moaned. It'd been months since he'd nagged Alex into watching that movie with him. Why was he suddenly nervous that Alex intended to hit him with all those phrases?

That moan was nothing compared to the noise Walter was soon making as Alex illustrated the type of hunting he was most interested in - that of finding all the hot spots in his lover's ass.


Walter threaded his way through the restaurant behind the small woman dressed in traditional clothing. He took his place at a small table and waited for Alex to arrive. When the door opened to reveal a figure in kabuki make-up with a tray, he sighed and figured Alex was running late and had ordered for him.

The server knelt next to him, served him saki; he drank as the other dishes were carefully measured out for him. The meal was delicious and he emptied the saki cup as often as it was filled. By the time he finished, he was very tipsy.

Looking at the geisha he finally spoke. "Did my friend say when he'd be here?"

The deep masculine voice made him turn to stare. "He said to tell you he wanted to do 'A little sparrin' in your dojo.'"

Walter roared as he really looked at his companion of the last couple of hours. Reaching out, he pulled the beauty close.

"And are you going to warm me up for him?"

"Well, he did reserve a room at the hotel next door. We can go out through the alley and in the back way."

"Let me pay the check and you can lead the way."

"It's all paid."

"Then let's get on our way."

No one really paid any attention to them as they left by the back exit. Walter managed to get make-up smeared all over his face before they made it into the room. Once there, his beautiful geisha reclined back among the pillows and waited for her Walter-san to take her in any fashion he wished. After all, she was his to command.

Much later, Walter whispered in the shell of an ear. "Domo arigato."

To which the deep sexy voice answered. "Gochiso sama."


As Walter finished his warm-up with the heavy bag, he turned just in time to see a familiar butt moving toward the section of the gym with mats for doing gymnastic exercises. He moved slowly toward that area, keeping his eyes on the ass in the tight spandex shorts. He noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that others were watching that ass as well. Not many men wore such revealing clothing in this establishment.

The object of his waking and sleeping fantasies dropped to the mat and started doing push-ups. Walter watched Alex work out until he was sweating then he flopped onto his back. When Walter glanced around he noticed that there were several set of eyes looking directly at the crotch of the prone man.

He glared at the ones nearest to him and then marched over to kneel next to Alex.

"Don't tell me, you wanted to do 'some push-ups in my gym'. Is that it?"

"Got your attention, didn't I?"

"Mine and ever horn dog in the place. What's the fucking idea of wearing those here?"

"Why, Walter, are you jealous?"

"Possessive is more like. Get your ass changed, we're going home."

"When we get there, will you let me do a few more push-ups? I really need to get into shape."

Walter growled: Alex jumped up and almost ran to the locker room. Walter flushed at the catcalls as he trailed after Alex.

He'd never be able to show his face at that gym again. But then he'd been meaning to get a membership closer to home anyway.


Walter woke with a start. He was sitting in the den; the movie had ended, the TV buzzing with static. Looking around, he tried to figure out what it was that had disturbed him. He jumped when he saw the face at the window. Then it was gone.

Getting to his feet, he pulled his weapon from the drawer next to the sofa. Moving quickly and quietly through the house, he stepped carefully into the yard. He could see the outline of someone crouching in the bushes near the window.

A low moan sounded as he drew nearer. The light from the room spilled out and he could see that the man dressed in black from head to foot was stroking his cock. He stepped closer, pointing his weapon toward the ground but cocking it. The figure froze.

"What are you doing?"

"Some peering through your window."

"Wouldn't you rather come inside?"

"Inside you? Hell yeah."

"Then get your ass out of the bushes."

Alex stood and wiggled said ass before walking toward the back door.

"Have you punished me enough for that movie?"

"Depends. Are you going to make me watch it again?"

"Fuck no!"

"Good. Let's go get naked and do nasty stuff to each other."

"That's a plan I can get behind."

Walter decided he wouldn't tell Alex about the movie his tape tree buddy had mailed to him that day. Well, at least not until it arrived.


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