Title: A Brewster Body
Author: Peach
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com
Fandom: X-Files
Pairings: Skinner/Krycek
Warnings: This story contains a m/m sexual relationship.
Rating: NC17
Date: 06/04/03
Archive: If I posted to your list it's yours.
Website: http://us.reocities.com/peach1250/index.html
Disclaimer: The characters of Skinner, Krycek and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright infringement is intended no money is being made.
Summary: Bikes, chaps, and hot monkey sex.
NOTES: Part of the C. Porter series inspired by Bill. To see a Brewster Body look here
http://perso.club-internet.fr/blaize/p_boitet1002.html To see the picture that inspired this look here http://www.squidge.org/~mrs_fish/fakes/xf/xf1/home-at-last.jpg

 

 

I was reading in the small sitting room when I heard the bike coming down the street. I jumped up to look out the window and saw Alex pull his Harley into the driveway. The slut that resides in my pants instantly stood at attention.

It had been almost six months since the first time Alex bedded me. In my past relationships, the need I'd felt had abated greatly by that point, but not with him, never with him.

He'd been gone for two weeks and I'd missed him fiercely. The weekend before he left was the first I'd spent in his house. Up to that point we'd mainly been together at my condo; only one night of our relationship had been spent at his house.

I'd learned a lot about myself with him, and the weekend before he took off I'd learned even more. He'd called me as I was getting ready to leave work on Friday afternoon.

"Walt, I want you to meet me at my place. I think it's time to step it up a notch."

"Really?"

"That's what you asked for, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"Go straight there, no need to go home and change, you won't be wearing any clothes this weekend."

"See you soon."

My body thrummed with excitement on the trip to Arlington. By the time I pulled into his drive, I felt like I could pound nails into concrete with my dick. He greeted me from the open doorway before I even reached the porch.

"You made good time, Walt. I'll open the garage so you can park in there."

I nodded and turned back to my car. By the time I was inside my car the garage door was rolling quietly up. I pulled in next to the Harley, being very careful not to hit it. He stood in the doorway leading to the house and waited for me to join him.

Once everything was secured and the alarm engaged, he turned to look at me.

"Go up and shower. I'll be up in a few minutes to clean you out."

No kiss or caress. I went up the stairs wondering if I'd done something wrong. By the time he entered the room and attached the new nozzle to the hose in the shower, I'd decided that if I'd pissed him off in some way he wouldn't have wanted me there for the weekend.

I watched as he used the soft soap in the shower to coat the nozzle. His face was solemn, none of the desire or playfulness I was used to seeing there. Again I wondered but said nothing.

"Assume the position, Walt."

I turned without a word, my hands pressed to the wall, legs spread, ass back. The nozzle entered me, hard, fast, no gentle pushing. I gasped but stood still. He flipped the switch and the water began to enter me. A hand slipped around my body to rest low on my stomach, gauging the pressure that was building in my bowels. I was in no small amount of pain by the time he stopped the flow. My stomach was distended, making me look pregnant.

"Hold it, Walt."

He turned and left the room. I stood looking at the door he'd closed on his way out. The air was making my body chilled but he had not turned the shower back on, nor had I been given permission to do anything but stand as I was. The minutes ticked by and the pain increased, along with the need to eject the water I was keeping inside.

I sighed with relief when he entered the room again. His hand pressed into my stomach bringing out a low groan, and I felt the light trickle of water on my thigh.

"Jesus, Walt! I told you to hold it."

"I'm trying, Sir. It's difficult when you press on my stomach that way."

"Use the toilet."

He stood and watched as I sat, letting go, the pressure eased immediately. He reached out and flushed the toilet.

"Back in the shower and in position."

I obeyed, confused and more than a little hurt. This wasn't how things had been with us. He'd been warm, affectionate, giving. I felt none of those things. The water entered me, not as much this time, and he didn't leave the room when I was full.

I stayed in position as he rubbed slow circles on my lower back. Finally, his hand dropped.

"Empty."

"Here?!" I squeaked at him.

"Yes." His voice was harsh and I flinched.

Then I let go and felt the water rushing from my body. In all the time we'd spent together I'd never felt afraid. But I was, suddenly. All I could think was that he was growing tired of me. And that saddened me, more than I had expected.

And that was the moment I realized I was in love with him.

I heard the water being turned on and then he used the hand-held attachment to hose me off. I waited as the water was turned off and a towel applied to my back and ass. Then the towel was draped over my arm.

"Finish up here and come downstairs."

He walked out and the door closed softly behind him. I sank to my knees and whimpered like a cur that'd just been kicked. I used the towel as my mind raced to try and find a reason for this. I must have done something wrong, but what?

I finished my task and made my way down to the basement. His back was to the stairs as he made selections from the large open cabinet where all the toys were stored. Turning, he tossed a set of thick leather cuffs to me.

I wrapped them around my arms, noting that they were designed to be clipped together, but also had D rings attached to them. As I finished, he walked over to stand in front of me. From his hands dangled a long piece of white cotton clothesline.

I waited as he took my cock in hand and watched as it and my balls were bound. My cock immediately took an interest and stood tall and proud for him. I gasped when he bent and placed a small kiss on the tip.

"Hands behind your back, Walt."

I obeyed instantly. He walked behind me and I heard the click as the cuffs were locked together. He circled me and stood looking at me for a long moment. His hand moved down his body slowly drawing my eyes with it. Cupping his dick, he squeezed it, running his fingers down the sides to emphasize how hard he was.

"You want this, don’t you, Walt? Want me to fuck you with my big dick? Want me to claim you as mine?"

My voice sounded strained, even to me, as I answered, "Yes, Sir."

"And how may I fuck you, Walt?"

"Any way you wish, Sir."

"Be careful. I might want things you aren't prepared to give to me."

"Take what you want from me. I wish to serve you, Sir."

He stepped forward then and kissed me, my first of the night. His mouth tasted of peaches and Alex. He sucked lightly on my tongue then pushed it back into my mouth. Stepping back, he looked me up and down once more.

"Go bend over the table."

I moved to do as I was instructed. His booted foot kicked lightly at my heel. I spread my feet farther apart. I expected him to fuck me then, but instead I heard the sound of his belt sliding through his belt loops. The first blow brought a startled yip from my mouth.

"Quiet, Walt. Take it like a man."

"Yes, Sir."

He laid down a series of stripes across my ass. I managed to be silent until he hit that tender area just below the curve of my ass. He walked away from me and I heard him rummage in the cabinet.

"You were warned, Walt."

I opened my mouth; he fitted the gag between my teeth and fastened the strap. I could have protested, but that never entered my mind. I had asked for the level of play to be stepped up. I just hadn't expected him to become cold.

Several hard blows landed across the delicate area and I screamed behind the gag. The belt was looped around my neck and tightened just enough to make me aware of it. I was drifting in a land between the pain of my blazing ass and the edge of the endorphin rush.

I moaned as his cock entered me. My body relaxed quickly. One thing about Alex, from the very first time he fucked me my body welcomed him as it had no other. Didn't matter where my mind was, my ass wanted him. A fact that often made me marvel.

He fucked me hard, driving into me so deeply that his balls slapped against me with every thrust. His hands roamed over my hot ass as well, kneading and stroking. That is when I disengaged. My mind floated free, taking me to that place only he can send me.

I heard his soft chuckle as I pushed back toward him. "Such a slut. That's one of the things I like most about you, Walt."

He continued fucking me as I wished for my own release, a release he would not allow me for some time. He finally rammed in deep, bent to cover my body, his jeans rubbing against my tender ass and went still. I could feel the throb as he emptied into me. Had my mouth not been full, I would have smiled.

He stayed that way for several minutes, panting against the back of my neck. I shivered as his lips pressed against me there briefly. Then he straightened and pulled out of me. He moved around the table and I admired the view of his dick as he removed the gag. His fingers worked the muscles in my jaw, easing the tension.

"Can you stand, Walt?"

"I think so, Sir."

His hands reached to offer support as I struggled to make my limp body respond. Once I was standing, his eyes searched mine. I guess he saw what he was looking for because he slipped his arms around me, his hands gripping mine where they rested in the small of my back. His mouth covered mine, the kiss deep and claiming, the kind I love best from him. When he pulled back he smiled.

"Time for dinner."

I heard the click of the clip and my wrists dropped to my side. I rolled my shoulders to work out the kinks. His hands moved to my shoulders and he massaged them briefly. After a couple of minutes he stepped back and stuffed his cock back into his pants. Taking my hand he led me upstairs.

That night I sat on the floor at his feet as he fed me by hand.

******

The front door opened as I walked from my bike toward the house. I looked up into his brown eyes, more than a little shocked to find him still there. I'd left him two weeks ago and didn't expect him to be waiting.

Well, I had ordered him to move into my house while I was gone but I hadn't really expected to be obeyed. After all, I'd done everything in my power to drive him away. I'd used him hard and given him very little back that weekend. I'd even forced him into acts that he'd never agreed to, acts we'd never even discussed.

It had been late in the day on Sunday. He was kneeling at my feet, his hands locked behind his back, his body a roadmap of welts and bruises. His lips were swollen and cracked from all the times I'd made him suck me. I'd even made him sleep the night before with my cock in his mouth. I'd told him to pretend he was a baby and my cock was his pacifier.

His head was bowed in submission as he awaited whatever came next. Not once had he uttered his safe word, and the only resistance I'd sensed at all had been the puzzled look in his eyes. He was confused; but then so was I.

I couldn't figure out why he was still there. I moved toward him and stood close, almost close enough to rub against him.

"Walt, raise your head."

He lifted his eyes to mine. I reached out and caressed his face with one hand as I opened my fly with the other. He was getting pretty ripe by then; I hadn't let him out of bondage long enough to bathe. His mouth opened like a baby bird's when I hauled my cock out of my pants. The look in his eyes was resigned as he waited to be used once more. Of course, my cock was so sore by that point I neither wanted nor could handle another blowjob. I held my cock against his lower lip.

"Drink."

His eyes widened with shock. I hardened my resolve. I had to find the breaking point, the thing that would send him running away. I'd let myself fall in love with him. My only option was to make him leave before he discovered that.

"You have a few options here, Walt. Do as I say; swallow down what I offer; kneel there and be bathed in it, or get up and walk away."

In answer his rough lips closed around the head. I let go. He managed to swallow most of what I poured out. His eyes never left mine as his throat worked. When I finished, I stepped back from him. My heart was in my throat as I waited for him to say something. He was silent, watching and waiting.

I took a towel and wiped the part he'd spilled from his chin and chest. Then I knelt in front of him. I detached the nipple clamps and rubbed one as I sucked on the other. The moan that rumbled through his chest was dark and mesmerizing and my dick stirred. I couldn't believe I was getting semi-hard again.

I reached between his legs for the cord that was attached to the rather large balls I'd inserted into him over an hour before. Tugging gently I pulled the first one free. He whimpered, his cock twitched. I caressed his dick as I tugged the second one free.

"Please, Sir!"

"You want something?"

"Please let me come, Sir!"

I took his mouth, raping it as I had his body, my thumb finding the quick release loop on the bindings around his cock. I tugged another of the balls about half way out of his body as I released the rope. He screamed into my mouth as his cock sprayed us with come, his ejaculation so violent that it even coated our chins.

I pulled back to watch his eyes as the last ball rolled from his body. His cock jerked between us, sending another spurt into the air. His eyes glazed over, he slumped, and I managed to catch him before he hit the floor. I rolled him over to get his wrists unfastened and then grabbed a blanket to roll him up in. Then I held him, waiting for him to come down.

I knew he was coming out of it when he twisted his head to suck at my neck. In the time we'd been seeing each other, his climax on Sundays had been his cue that we were finished with play for the weekend. And I'd allowed a certain intimacy on his part; by that I mean he was encouraged to be aggressive if he wished during that time.

His aggression usually took the form of marking me in some way. I always pretended to be angry about the marks, but in actuality they pleased me. I looked at them when he was gone and remembered the way he felt under me.

I let him play, both of us knowing it was going nowhere. I'd played him too hard, his climax too intense for him to get it up again tonight. And I was just so damn sore that even if I got completely hard I wouldn't want to stick it anywhere.

When I knew he'd regained enough strength to get to his feet, I led him up to the bathroom. We cuddled in the tub, no words, just quiet time. I tucked him into bed and went down to bring us up some finger food. We snacked and then settled down to nap.

I woke around midnight to find him curled on his side, sleeping deeply. Getting up I dressed and went downstairs. The note was short and really left him very little information.

 

Walter,

I need to be away for a while. I expect to find you here when I return. Move in and look after things. I'll email you when I can.

A

 

I left the extra set of keys on top of the note, next to the coffee maker. I backed the Harley out of the drive before starting it up. I didn't stop until the sun was coming up. I slept the day away and then stayed over another night before I hit the road again. I did take time to go to the library and send him a message, not that I expected him to read it.

******

I woke on Monday morning in an empty bed. I smelled coffee and went in search of caffeine and Alex. I was surprised to find him gone and a note next to the coffee maker. I read it three times before it started to make sense to me.

"Move in." it said. Did he mean that the way it sounded? I was still confused by all that had happened between us over the weekend. For most of it, he'd been cold, distant but he'd still made me fly higher than I ever dreamed possible.

I lingered over my coffee, postponing the trip home to change and get ready to face my day. My mind was in turmoil. He'd pushed me so hard that weekend. Made me do things I never thought I'd do. And now in the harsh light of Monday morning, I had to face those things. I had to figure out how I felt about what I'd done, how I felt about the man who'd demanded those things from me. And I had to decide if I could continue in a relationship like this.

At the end of the day I was still no closer to making a decision. I'd kept my sleeves down all day to cover the marks on my arms, squirmed during a meeting with the Director due to my sore ass and generally blown off several things I should have paid more attention to.

By quitting time I was more than ready to leave. I had managed to come to one decision; I'd take some things to his house and stay while he was away, so a quick trip to my place to pack what I'd need for the rest of the week.

I hummed as I unpacked, made room in the closet for my suits, and consolidated drawer space to put my things away. I felt happy to think that he trusted me to be in his house while he was away. When everything was put away, I ordered dinner, sat down at his computer and signed on to email. There was a return receipt attached to the message, something he'd never done in the past.

 

From: RussianTop@raventress.net

To: BaldNSurly@baldmale.com

Subject: Hello

 

Walter,

You had best be reading this at my desk, because if you aren't your ass will be warmed when I get home.

I'm not sure how long I will need to be away. I want you to use your time constructively. This weekend the bedroom could use a new coat of paint. I will allow you to choose the color. Indulge yourself – pick something you can live with but don't be uptight and starched about it.

 

I sat stunned. Paint? He wanted me to paint the fucking bedroom. There was a second message and I clicked on it before answering the first one.

 

From: RussianTop@raventress.net

To: BaldNSurly@baldmale.com

Subject: Bedtime

 

There is a small dildo in the bedside drawer. You may use that if you need release tonight.

 

Dildo? The man was fucking insane if he thought I wanted anything up my ass after the treatment he'd given it all weekend.

I got up and stomped away from the computer. I didn't even attempt to answer the messages until after my dinner had been delivered and I'd eaten. I also took time to inspect his cupboards and make a shopping list.

 

From: BaldNSurly@baldmale.com

To: RussianTop@raventress.net

Subject: re: Hello

 

I figure you'll trace the ISP address and know I'm at your desk. Paint the bedroom; I can do that. Pick a color? How about a nice pink? Or maybe lavender?

As for the dildo – thanks for the offer but my rear is quite delicate at the moment.

 

I hit send before I could rethink it. Then I went up and got ready for bed. I slept wrapped around his pillow, breathing in his scent.

The next day wasn't much better in terms of getting my work done. I checked my email multiple times looking for a message from him, but there was nothing there. Then I started to worry that he was angry at my smart assed answers.

I made myself stop at the grocery on the way home. Once I reached the house, I put away the refrigerated items and went straight for the computer.

 

From: RussianTop@raventress.net

To: BaldNSurly@baldmale.com

Subject: Delicate?

 

If you think it's delicate now…

Pink, I think is questionable; given your skin tones you would not look your best in a pink room. And it is your desire to look your best for me, is it not?

Sleep with the dildo in tonight.

 

From: BaldNSurly@baldmale.com

To: RussianTop@raventress.net

Subject: re: Delicate?

 

Yes, Sir.

What about a nice sky blue?

 

I hit send, then shut down the PC. I let my mind drift as I prepared a salad and grilled a small steak to go with it. As I ate I made plans to stop at the local hardware store the next day to look at paint colors.

I didn't let myself look too closely at my actions as I prepared for bed. By morning the dildo had worked its way out of me and I'd kicked it to the foot of the bed. But at least I'd obeyed him. During the week I received daily emails from him, some with outlandish orders, some with simple ones. I complied with each, even if there was no way for him to know for sure if I had.

On Saturday morning as I fought wakefulness, the phone rang. I tried to ignore it and succeeded until I heard his voice on the answering machine.

"You've reached Alex and Walter, please leave us a message."

I twisted my head, thinking I'd heard it wrong, then his voice came through.

"Walter, your ass had better be there."

His voice made my dick stand up. I untangled myself from the sheets so I could reach the phone.

"Alex, I'm here."

"Good. Turn off the machine."

"Hold on, I wasn't quite up yet."

I dropped the phone and got up so I could see what I was doing to the machine. Once it was off, I put the phone back to my ear.

"I'm back."

"Did you follow my orders last night?"

"Yes, Sir. I've done everything you told me this week."

"Picked out a color for the bedroom?"

"I'm still debating between two. Would you like to know what they are?"

"No, the decision is yours; just make sure you can live with it, or the consequences if I hate it."

"Yes, Sir. May I ask when you're coming home?"

"I'm not sure. Are you 'up' now?"

The tone of his voice left no doubt as to how he meant that.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good, get comfortable. Position yourself so you can reach the plug and stroke your dick. Might want to put this on speaker phone."

I hit the speaker button and then got comfy on the bed.

"Ready, Sir."

"Don't touch your dick yet. I want you to work the dildo in and out slowly, pulling it all the way out and then pushing it back in as deep as it will go. I know it doesn't hit all the places I do, but it feels good anyway, doesn't it?"

"Yes, sir."

"You can drop the sirs for now. Right now it's just Alex and Walter."

"Yes."

Between his voice and the plug I was getting quite desperate.

"Feel me there with you. I'm watching as you put on a show for me. I'm stroking my cock as I watch you, knowing that soon I will have to take you."

His voice was getting rougher and I knew he was picturing me, as I was him. I moaned loudly and heard his answering groan.

"I walk over to you as you lie there pleasuring that hole and getting it ready for me. You look so incredible like this, your body flushed with arousal. I have to touch you, so I take your glorious cock in my hand and give it a few pulls."

"Alex…please."

"Hush, I'm going to take good care of you. I'm going to give you what you crave. And you do crave it, don't you, slut?"

"Yes…please."

"Please what, Walter? Tell me what you want."

"You, I want you."

"How do you want me?"

"In my ass, deep in my ass. I want you to ride me hard."

"You want to come on my cock? Want to feel my hot jizz shooting in you?"

I was panting by this point and he wasn't sounding relaxed either.

"God yes! Do me, Alex, fuck me!"

"I'm going to do you. Gonna do you so hard you scream. Gonna make that little hole open up for me."

I was thrashing on the bed as I tried to keep fucking myself with the dildo and stroke my cock at the same time. I finally gave up and twisted so I could rock on the dildo as I used both hands on my cock and balls.

I whined out his name wanting release but wanting him to give permission. "Alex…"

"Ready to come for me? Ready to milk my dick, dry?"

"Yes…please!"

"Do it, Walter. Do it now!"

Come rained over me as my dick throbbed in my hand. I dimly heard his exclamation as he came. For a couple of minutes the only sound was panting as we calmed.

"Walter, was it good for you?"

I roared. Then turned my head toward the phone.

"What am I, the little woman?"

"Something like that. I need a shower and some food. And you need to get to the hardware store."

"Yes, Alex. I miss you."

"I should be home next week."

"Good."

"Bye, Walter."

He disconnected before I could answer. I stayed on the bed for a few minutes thinking over the conversation. Adding that to the new message on the recorder allowed me to reach a conclusion.

Alex was just as afraid as I was of this thing we had.

******

I clicked off the phone and relaxed against the pillows. He was still there, said he missed me. Maybe he really was starting to care for me. Hell, he must be feeling something if he hadn't left after what I'd done to him the last weekend.

I spent the afternoon shopping for new toys. I wondered what color he'd picked for the room. His choice would tell me a lot when I got home.

I'd spent three days in San Francisco, having seafood every night down at the pier, hitting a club to check out the latest in dungeon décor. Saw a couple of new techniques I thought I'd try with Walter. I bought the Dom a drink and discussed his scene with him. We ended up at his place where he allowed me to practice on his slave.

The next day I headed for home. The last hotel I'd stayed at didn't have a washer for the guests and I was too tired to go cruising for one. The next morning I showered, but was forced to wear the dirty clothes. I also had to make a detour due to a massive accident.

So, by the time I pulled up in front of the house, I was tired, sweaty and smelled ripe even to me. I looked at him standing in the doorway, his eyes smiling right along with his lips. I took the steps two at a time and he stepped back to let me in.

I'd taken two steps inside and closed the door, and as I was shrugging off my jacket he dropped to his knees and reached for my jeans.

"Walter, stop that; I reek, I need a shower."

"Later!"

I was shocked at his tone but his grin gave him away. He managed to get my jeans out of the way without unbuckling my chaps. My dick sprang out of the opening and he immediately swallowed it. His nose nuzzled into my curls as he took a deep breath.

I moaned as my dick started to rise for him. He uttered a sound I'd learned was his self-satisfied 'I've got him where I want him' noise. His hands worked to get my balls free as well. Once he managed that he abandoned my cock to suck on them.

"Walter, at least back me up to the wall so I have some support while you ravage me."

He grunted and let go long enough for me to move. As soon as my back was to the wall, he was on me again. I let my hand caress his baldhead as he reminded me what a talented cocksucker he is. It didn't take him long to bring me off. I gripped him tightly to me as I shot down his throat. I released him when I started to get too tender and he allowed my softening dick to slip from his mouth.

I watched as he nuzzled me again, taking deep breaths to pull my scent into him. I tapped his head lightly.

"Walter, you are such a dog."

"Woof!"

I chuckled. "Come up here and kiss me hello."

He arose slowly, a big grin on his face.

"Didn't you like that welcome home?"

"You know I love your blowjobs. But how the hell you could want to give me one when I smell like I do after a long day on the bike, is beyond me."

"I like the way you smell, clean or dirty."

"Just proves my point. Now kiss me."

He pressed his lips to mine and we kissed long and deep. I clung to him for a long minute after the kiss ended then slapped his ass.

"Go start the shower. I want to get the road off me."

"Do I get to scrub your back?"

"You may wash the entire body. I'm really tired."

He kissed the end of my nose and then hurried to do, as I'd bid. I pulled my pants together and stuffed my dick away. I took the time to get my bike inside and turn on the alarms before heading toward my shower.

I stopped dead in the doorway of my bedroom. He had redone the entire room. The walls he'd painted had been done in a soft dove gray; the wall the bed was now against had been papered with what appeared to be rice paper in a black bamboo design with touches of red in the form of Chinese characters. The bed was covered with a new duvet in a darker gray, and accent pillows in red and jade adorned it. He'd even had the chair in the corner re-covered in an oriental style fabric that had all the colors of the room in it.

I was most pleasantly surprised. I'd expected the former Marine to slap a coat of white paint on the walls, or maybe a blue or green. This had taken some thought and effort. I shook it off and moved into the walk-in closet to hang up my leathers. I noticed he'd made room for several of his suits, as well as a few of his casual clothes. Not everything he owned, but enough to let me know he'd actually been staying there.

His voice startled me a little when he spoke behind me.

"Need help? I'm pretty good at stripping guys down."

"Yeah? Why don't you hang these up for me while I go get in the shower?"

He reached to take them; I brushed my lips over his cheek before heading into the bathroom. My clothes hit the hamper and I stepped into the hot spray. I was letting the water flow over me as he stepped in behind me.

Strong hands washed my back, when he reached my ass I spread my feet to give him room to get me clean. When he nudged me, I tuned so he could get my front clean. As usual, when given permission to bathe me, he washed my dick so thoroughly that I was hard by the time he was finished.

I pulled back to rinse the soap away. I allowed him to towel me dry and then stepped back into the bedroom. I was slipping into a pair of sweats when he came out.

"Do you need more drawer space? We could get another chest for you."

"I guess that depends on how you meant it when you told me to move in. I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be as a house sitter and I'd be sent home when you got back."

I changed the subject, not ready to talk about that issue. "Did you redo the room in a way you like or did you think I'd like this?"

"I hoped you'd like it, but I also wanted the room to be one in which I could feel at home."

"I don't get it, Walter. Your condo is almost as sterile as a hospital operating room. This is anything but that."

His hand rested lightly against my cheek. "You brought color into my world, Alex."

How the fuck do you answer something like that? Especially when it's said to you with such gentle honesty. I kissed him quickly to deflect him.

"I'm hungry. I skipped lunch to get home quicker. I don't supposed you have any food in the house?"

"Actually, I shopped. So you can have sandwiches or, if you can wait a little, I'll cook something."

"You cook?"

"I know we never got out of bed long enough for you to find out, but yeah, I can cook. Not gourmet, but you won't starve."

"Then get some clothes on and show me this talent."

I left him to dress and went to check on my mail that had stacked up while I was gone. I'd just paid the last bill when he called to me.

"Alex, come and eat."

He'd made omelettes with sausage, green onions, peppers, plus he's made biscuits, which hadn't started life in a can. I looked at it and he chuckled.

"It's safe to eat, really. If I'd known you would be here tonight, I would have planned a better meal."

"No, Walter, this is great. I wasn't expecting anything this good."

Our weekend went from there, neither of us talking about the intense scene I'd put him through, nor the two weeks I'd been away. After we ate, I took a long nap and when I woke I found him in the sitting room, reading.

I knelt in front of him and took my time bringing him off. Then I led him to the bedroom and cuddled close as we both drifted to sleep. When I woke on Sunday, I slipped into his heat and rocked us both to orgasm. In the afternoon we went to a movie and then out to dinner. When Monday rolled around, he dressed for work, kissed me goodbye and went out the door humming.

I sat at the table with my coffee and felt very domestic. A small part of my mind nagged at me, telling me this could never last.

****

I felt relaxed and cheerful as I arrived at work that morning. Alex was back and we'd had a wonderful weekend together. I felt we had a real chance at a relationship. Mulder gave me strange looks during our meeting in the afternoon and Kim was shocked when I left on time for a change.

I pulled into the driveway that evening with a smile on my face. Opening the door I couldn't resist the urge to call out to him. "Honey, I'm home."

He came out of the den and growled, "I thought we'd established that *you* are the little woman."

I laughed as I pulled him to me for a kiss. We went on like that for several months, learning the things about each other that we hadn't when it'd been just spending weekends together. Our differences were minor enough that we didn't clash often. I was happy in a way I'd never been.

Should have known something would go wrong, my life has never gone smoothly.

Mulder had been asking questions, a lot of questions and I put him off or outright lied to him. I never expected him to follow me. Alex had called me one Friday with instructions to meet him at a new club.

That wasn't our usual scene but we hadn't been out in a while and he enjoys showing me off. So I'd gone to the condo (I hadn't put it on the market and I still had a portion of my clothes there) napped, showered and changed into an outfit I had never worn for him that I thought he'd like.

It'd been a long time since I'd worn the leather pants but they still fit perfectly. I'd topped them off with a camouflaged muscle shirt. The combat boots were old, broken in and comfortable.

I entered the club at the time he'd told me to meet him. I ignored the men cruising me and ordered a drink at the bar. I was surprised when Mulder slipped into the space next to me at the bar.

"Hello, Walter."

"Mulder, what are you doing here?"

"I saw you on your way in and thought I'd come have a drink with you."

"Scully probably wouldn't want you hanging out in places like this. Besides, I'm meeting someone."

"Got a hot date?"

"As a matter of fact, he is – hot that is. Now go away and let me enjoy my evening."

"But I just ordered a drink. You could at least have a drink with me. I'll protect you until your date gets here."

I chuckled at the idea of Mulder protecting me. About that time a twink pushed up against me and grinned.

"Daddy, are you all alone? I'd love to sit in your lap and be your good little boy."

"Sorry, I'm busy."

"Him? He's old. I'm what you need."

Mulder mouthed at me 'Old?' before he put his arm around me and got the twink's attention. "Go away little boy, he's mine." Mulder wrapped his arm around me and laid a kiss on me before I realized his intent. When he let me go, I saw Alex over his shoulder watching us. The look on his face made me frightened for Mulder's continued existence.

Before I could do anything, Alex turned and started moving through the crowd toward the exit. I called out to him but he kept going.

"Fuck!"

"You were waiting for Krycek? That's who you've been seeing?"

"I have to go."

Mulder called out my name but I ignored him and pushed my way toward the door.

******

I was late meeting him, but I didn't expect to find him making out with Mulder. He pulled back from the kiss and looked right at me. A black rage roared through my body and I turned on my heels and left. I dimly heard him call my name but I kept going.

I was trying to start the bike when he caught up to me.

"Alex, it wasn't what it looked like."

"Yeah." The bike started and as I reached to put it in gear he tried to throw his leg over the back. I gunned it and left him behind. Glancing back I saw him pick himself up off the ground.

I was ripped by the time I went home. I didn't expect him to be there, but he was.

"Alex, I've been worried sick. Listen I know it looked bad. But…"

My fist connected and he reeled backward. "Get out!" I turned and walked away from him, because I knew if I stayed in the same room I'd seriously hurt him. I made it to the bedroom, slammed the door. I heard his footsteps in the hallway and twisted the lock on the door.

"Alex, please listen to me. I know you're angry but please just listen to me."

"I told you to leave. I'll send your shit to you. Don't be here when I get up in the morning."

I moved to the bathroom and turned on the shower. When I got out, I turned on the radio and got into bed. The next morning I found a note on the table and I didn't even read it; I just threw it away. That afternoon I had all his things delivered to the condo and changed the locks on the house.

He called. I deleted the messages as soon as I heard his voice. He wrote. I returned the letters. I didn't trust myself. If it had been anyone other than Mulder I might have written it off as flirting. But it was Mulder, for fuck sake.

******

First, he dumped me on my ass in the street, then he punched me and threw me out. I tried to call; he didn't answer even when I knew he was home. I got so desperate I wrote to him; the letters came back. His email address was blocked to me. He sent my things to me and changed the door locks.

I sank into a depression that I couldn't hide from anyone. Mulder tried to talk to me about it, but I didn't want to air my dirty laundry with him. Although, I did take a certain amount of pleasure in picturing how he'd look if he knew the real nature of my time with Alex.

I became like those obsessed characters in movies, haunting the places I thought I might run into him. I got brief glimpses of him before he spotted me and left. Soon he stopped being at the places and times I expected.

So in desperation, I broke into his home. When he came home, I was naked, lubed and bound to the table face down in the playroom. I'd used slipknots and had laid out the toys with the greatest punishment power. I made sure there enough clues to lead him to me when he got home.

*******

I'd been out cruising, looking for someone to play with for a night. The only problem was no one met the standards Walter had set for me. It had been a month and I couldn't believe how desperately I missed him.

And not just in my bed. I found I missed the quiet lazy afternoons lying against him with a book as he watched football, or basketball, or whatever sport happened to be on TV that day. I mourned for the evenings when we did nothing but eat a quiet dinner and snuggle in bed at the end of our day.

I pulled into the garage and entered the house. I knew right away someone had been in there. On the kitchen table was an empty bakery box and the door to the basement was standing open.

I checked the rest of the house first. I found his clothes folded neatly in my bedroom and his used towel hanging over the towel bar in the bathroom; that left only one place to look for him, the basement.

I walked down the steps, quietly. He had turned the table so it was in the center of the room under the overhead light. On the table next to it was an array of items, a cane, the thickest strap I owned, my heaviest paddle, a cat. As I moved closer, I saw the slipknots that he'd used to bind himself.

He hadn't moved, and as I reached the other side of the table I realized he was asleep. I wondered how long he'd been there. He was also wearing a gag, which explained the note I spotted he'd left next to the paddle. Picking it up, I read it quickly.

Alex,

I can't live like this, without you. Punish me in any way you need to, just please forgive me.

Walter

I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. His eyes fluttered open, looking puzzled and then memory flooded in. I opened the strap on the gag and pulled it free, rubbing his jaw reflexively.

"You sure about this?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Master."

I nodded. "I need to change. Do you want some water before we start? Maybe you need to piss."

"Both, please, Master."

I walked over and got a bottle and pointed his cock into the opening. "Let go, Walter." He filled the bottle and I took it with me to empty. In my room I changed into a pair of sweats and a lightweight tee.

I grabbed a bottle of water and a straw on the way back down. Letting him drink his fill, I took a small bell and pressed it into his hand before putting the gag back in his mouth.

"This isn't like our normal scenes, Walter. There is no safe word. You will take what I give you and then I will allow you back in my life. If you can't take it you drop the bell and I stop, but if you do that you leave here and stop stalking me."

I pressed a kiss to his bare head. "One more thing - you will stay away from Mulder. Should I ever see you with him again there would be no reprieve, we will be through."

He nodded once more and I stepped back. I walked across the room and came back with a blindfold. I put it over his eyes then stepped back and looked at the instruments he'd put out.

I'd never used the cane on him. That was one item that I'd bought more for show than actual use. The other things I had used on him many times. I lifted the paddle; I'd warm his ass with that first.

He jerked as the first blow landed on his ass. I worked on his ass for several minutes until it was blood red and hot to the touch. I stopped and took a long drink of water. Then I poured the rest of the bottle over his ass. He arched in the bonds as the cool water hit his hot flesh.

I watched as he took deep breaths and centered himself. Rolling my shoulders, I worked out some of the tension before reaching for the cat. I brought it down hard across his back and watched as the lines went from white to red. I didn't stop until his back was more red than flesh tones.

I repeated the drill with the water and a shiver ran through him, but not much more. Kneeling next to him, I pulled off the blindfold and peeled back an eyelid. The endorphins had kicked in, which wasn't a surprise since his body normally reacted to pain that way.

The bell was still clutched tightly in his hand, said hand being the only tensed muscle in his body at that point, aside from his cock which was hard as a rock where it rested against the side of the table he was tied to.

I picked up the cane and looked down at him. A cane used correctly can leave deep bruising and long-term pain. Used incorrectly it can cripple. I had no desire to cripple but I did have a desire to make what I was doing to him the actual punishment he'd asked for.

Raising my arm, I brought the cane down hard on the crease between his thigh and his ass. He screamed behind the gag and his erection wilted. I counted as I used the cane; at ten I dropped it to the floor and kicked it away.

******

My body was on fire. I clutched the bell so tightly it had cut into my hand. I felt his lips press against my fingers as he pried the bell free.

"You did well, Walter. I'm going to run a cool tub for you. Stay here until I call you."

He made quick work of the ropes. I heard his steps on the stairs and I took deep breaths trying to turn down the pain. Nothing had ever hurt like the cane.

I'd offered him my body for punishment, not because I felt I deserved punishment but because it was the only way I could think of to get past his anger. And physical pain was infinitely better than the emotional pain of life without him.

Wiggling my arms, feeling the pins and needles that let me know I'd pulled the ropes too tight, I waited for him to come back or call for me. I was floating on the pain and didn't hear him on the stairs. His hand caressed my head gently.

"Walter, are you going to need help?"

"Probably. I pulled the ropes too tight, my hands are tingling."

"I'll take care of that."

He lifted my arm over his shoulder, and helped lever me up. My body screamed and I clutched him so tightly he winced. But he didn't pull away or complain. We made it up the stairs and into the bathroom. He eased me down into the tub. The cool water was actually very soothing to the heat in my back and ass.

He sat on the floor by the tub, held out a couple of pills and a glass filled with icy water. "Are you hungry, Walter?"

"No, just tired."

"I want you to stay in the water until the heat is gone then we'll get you into bed."

"Alex, I…"

"You should relax."

"I really need to say this please."

"Okay."

"I don't want Mulder. This guy was coming on to me and Mulder was acting like we were together. I didn't expect him to kiss me. I didn't want it. You are the only man I want. I know I haven't said it but I'm in love with you."

******

To say I was stunned would be an understatement. Love is not a word you normally hear from someone whose ass you have just beaten. Not even if it was part of a scene and they had a safe word.

He'd closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the edge of the tub. I sat watching him as he took deep breaths, finding his center. I left him there and went to turn down the bed. I needed the space and a drink. When the bed was ready I went to get a drink, limiting myself to one.

When I returned, the deep breathing and the drugs had helped and he rose fairly easily. I patted him dry carefully, placing little kisses on each shoulder. He turned to me, cupped my face and kissed me softly.

I had no words. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, but felt that it would sound insincere after what had happened earlier. I didn't doubt what he'd told me. There was no reason for him to lie anymore. He had been given a way to atone; he had borne the punishment and earned forgiveness.

Now, I was the one who should be begging forgiveness. If I were a better man, I'd have sent him away from me for his own good. Instead I took him to bed. I made love to him slowly and carefully, bringing him to the brink and then backing off. By the time I let us come, it was so explosive that we felt asleep almost instantly.

I woke the next morning knowing I'd never find the strength to let him go. I just pray he'll never want me to.

The end


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