Title: Blackbird Fly
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com
Warnings: This story contains explicit m/m sex.
Archive: If posted to your list
Disclaimer: The characters of Skinner, Krycek, Scully, Mulder, Doggett and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright Infringement is intended no money is being made.
Summary: Can two broken men mend each other?
Notes: Peja's Broken Challenge, to write a fic starting with the sentence "There was something in his eyes that said he was broken." Additional inspiration from the Beatles Blackbird, lyrics at the end.
There was something in his eyes that said he was broken. I'd seen it the first day he walked into my office. It would be years before I found out the reasons. I didn't try very hard to resist his seduction. I knew my marriage was over, had known for some time.
And the boy was beautiful, warm, willing, and the hottest piece of ass I'd ever had.
Even when he disappeared and I learned who pulled his strings, I still wanted him. Could have had him, did have him that night Mulder brought him to me.
I still remember the first time I called him Blackbird. He had just come back from Russia, even more broken than before. And for some reason, the song began to circle my brain. The words just seemed to lend themselves to him.
That night, I took a chance. He'd come to me as soon as he was back in the country, exposed his new weakness to me and waited for my judgement.
I love Walter. Have loved him since the first night he'd taken me to bed. He was the only man who'd ever made me feel it was about me, too, that I was there for more than just his pleasure. And the night before Mulder and I'd gone to Russia, he had driven me to even greater heights.
So I had come to him, damaged beyond repair. I stood in his bedroom, naked, head down, not wanting to see the disgust I was sure would be in his eyes. I felt his hand as it gently touched the wreckage of my arm. Then he pulled me close to his strong chest.
"My beautiful blackbird."
I felt his tears on my head and the dam broke. We wept together, standing in the middle of his bedroom. When the storm passed, he took me to his bed and held me as I slept the first peaceful sleep I'd known since my arm had been hacked off.
I woke the next morning to the sound of his voice as he spoke softly into the phone.
"I won't be in at all today, Kim. Please reschedule anything you can. And ask Agent Scully to sit in on the planning meeting, give her my notes for that. I'll be unreachable. If anyone demands to know why, tell them it's a family matter."
I smiled as Walter chuckled; I knew the only one bold enough to demand would be Mulder. "Just remind him that the devil did not kick me out of hell to torment him; I too, have a family. I'll see you first thing Monday."
"You're taking the day off?"
"I thought we'd get out of town; that okay with you?"
"Sure, where are you taking me?"
"Let me surprise you. Now get up so we can shower and get out of here before Mulder shows up at the door."
He moved quickly to get out of the bed, but stopped suddenly and looked at me expectantly. I held out my hand and smiled at him.
"Get a move on, would you?"
I took my time bathing him in the shower. Scrubbed his scalp harder when he asked. I stood patiently as he scrubbed my back for me. Back in the bedroom I pitched him a change of clothes and he looked surprised.
"I would have thought you threw these away."
"I hoped you'd show up again, for more than a night."
"I wish I never had to leave."
"Someday you won't. But we'll talk about that later. I'm hungry, aren't you?"
We ate a huge breakfast and then hit the road. He gave me a quizzical look as we passed into Maryland.
"When you left with Mulder for Russia, I made some plans. We have a lot to talk about."
"Does Mulder know anything about your plans?"
"They don't include him, so why should I tell him?"
I changed lanes, then pulled off to the shoulder of the road. I needed him to be looking into my eyes when I said it for the first time. He watched me, his eyes wary, as I turned to him.
"Alex Krycek, I don't love Fox Mulder… well, I do, but I'm not *in* love with him. I'm in love with you."
"Love you. Now come over here, and kiss me."
"But it's daylight, and we're on a public street."
He sounded panicky. I couldn't help it; I laughed, then laughed harder when he made a pouty face at me.
"The day will come, Alex, when neither of us will care who sees us kiss. I promise you that."
I turned back and put the car into gear, then eased out onto the freeway. In less than an hour, I pulled up in front of a small house in a quiet residential section of a sleepy small town.
The house was older. I would later learn it had been built in the post-war forties. I was reminded of the house where Lynn Bracken lived, in LA Confidential. When Walter opened the door, I was pleased to see the inside had not been modernized.
The hardwood floors gleamed; the fireplace had a wide shelf over it, and a mirror that looked to be the original. The furniture even looked vintage. I hoped the bed would have a newer mattress.
"Do you like it?"
"It's great, Walter, how did you find it?"
"An old buddy of mine called me about it. When his aunt had to go into a nursing home, he thought about putting it on the market, but then he remembered my mentioning that I wanted to retire to a small town when the time came. He had the neighbor meet me with the key the next Saturday."
"I take it you liked it a lot."
"So much that I called him from here and asked his price. I think he gave me a real deal, since he let me keep the furniture I wanted. I hated the old fabric, so I had most of the pieces reupholstered. He took a few vacation days, and I helped him pack up the personal things he wanted to keep. We donated the rest."
"What about the bed?"
"Is that a big interest to you?"
"Well, you usually fuck me till I pass out, and then wake me up by pushing that big thing up me, I…"
"You think I don't want you? Why do you think I brought you here where no one can find us? I plan on our breaking in that new mattress. By Sunday I don't expect either of us to be moving easily. Come on, I'll show you the ceiling in the bedroom."
"Nice ceiling is it?"
"I'll let you know when it's your turn to show it to me."
I followed him into the bedroom, wondering how things would work now. Sex with only one arm was going to be a challenge. I need not have worried; Walter figured it all out for us.
At that point, Alex's arm had not healed enough for him to get a prosthesis fitted. And even once he was fitted with one, I didn't think he'd want to wear it all the time. During the drive, I had been thinking of the possible positions we would need to use now.
Me on my back wouldn't be a problem, I'd just have to make sure to put my leg on that side over his shoulder, or keep it raised so he could use my knee for leverage. Doing him against the wall wouldn't need to change since I normally had one arm wrapped around him anyway.
The biggest change would be doggy style. Trying to hold yourself up for the amount of time I normally went at him would be difficult until he built up his muscle more on that side to compensate.
I stopped just inside the doorway to let him look around. Later, I would tell him that I'd redone the interiors myself. I'd hired a contractor to do the outside work. At the time, I hadn't admitted it, not out loud, but the room had been redone as a showcase for Alex.
Since our first night together, part of me had been planning a home for us. As soon as I'd driven up to the house, I'd known it was to be ours. Hell, I'd have paid twice what Jason wanted for it. Once the papers had been signed, I'd started going to the house every weekend, doing a room at a time. Would it be any surprise that I started in the bedroom?
"Nice bed." He grinned at me.
I'd have been pissed except for the fact that I knew he understood the message. All the colors had been chosen based on odd comments he'd made now and again about his likes and dislikes.
I gave him my best leer, "Get naked, boy. I want to see you spread out across that big bed."
I watched as he swaggered over to the chair beside of the bed. He dropped his jacket casually, followed by the green tee shirt he was wearing. His grin faltered, so I gave him a wolf whistle of encouragement. The grin came back full force and breathtaking.
I moved forward, turning down the bed without taking my eyes off him. When he was naked, he crawled onto the bed.
"You just gonna stand there?"
I threw off my clothes, anxious to get to him. He teased me even more by stroking himself as he watched me strip. I opened the bedside drawer and pulled out the lube. He held out his hand and I squirted some on his fingers. As I turned back to look in the drawer, he grabbed my dick.
"I'm clean, Walter, and I'm sure you are, too. If you truly meant what you said in the car…"
"I did. Only you, Alex, for the rest of my life."
His fingers finished slicking me up and then he rubbed the extra along his crack.
I don't know why I couldn't say it to him. Words don't ever come easy to me when it's important. And it was very important to me that when I told him, he would believe, without doubt or hesitation.
You see I knew – the minute I walked into the room, I knew his planning had started long before my trip to Russia. The room was practically a display case for me. All the colors complimented my hair, eyes, and skin tone. The furniture was an easy fusion of mission oak and art deco, two styles I'd made passing comments on years before. Even the pictures on the walls were prints of artists I'd mentioned loving.
Only a man who pays attention to his partner would remember the comments. Only a man who loved me would make a home like this for me.
I spread my legs to welcome him. He knelt for a long minute just looking at me. Then he bent down to kiss me, a long deep kiss that sucked out my soul and let me tell you, it went with him gladly. His big hands slipped under my thighs and he lifted me. I reached between us and grasped his cock, guiding him to me.
My body welcomed him, the way the desert welcomes rain. He sank deep inside me, and then took another kiss. For several minutes his only movements were to kiss, suck and bite. He thoroughly tasted and ravaged my lips, throat and nipples.
Finally, I grabbed his ear and pulled him up to look at me. "If you don't get to fucking, I'm going to scream rape so loud the neighbors will call the police."
He chuckled at me, kissed the tip of my nose. "You want this, boy?" he pulled out slowly, as I moaned. Then he slammed back in, "Or do you want this?" and he pumped into and out of me hard and fast a few times.
"God, take a boy someplace nice for the weekend and he gets all sassy."
His mouth descended onto mine, as he rolled my hips higher and then proceeded to fuck me into another universe. I would have screamed out my pleasure, but his kisses kept stealing my breath. When I reached for my cock he spoke again.
"That's it, jack it, come for me."
I didn't need any more invitation than that. I pulled hard at my cock and shot hard all over his stomach and chest. He groaned as I tightened on him, and I felt his dick jerking as he came inside me. Then he dropped like a stone on my chest. He did manage to lower my legs before he almost passed out.
I let my legs slide along his sweat soaked body to rest with my heels behind his knees. I placed my hand on his neck and promptly fell asleep.
I woke to the late afternoon light peeking through the blinds, still sprawled on top of Alex. At some point, my softened dick had slipped from his body. He was still sleeping. I wondered how, with me on top of him. Probably passed out from lack of oxygen. But as I started to move, his hand gripped me.
"We need to get up sometime. I need to feed you so you can do your part toward breaking in the bed."
"I'm sleeping in the wet spot, that should be enough."
"You saying you don't want to give it to me?" I reached between us to stroke him to make sure he knew what I wanted him to give me.
"You keep doing that and he won't care if he's starving."
I smiled down at him and kissed his nose, which he immediately wiggled at me. Then I rolled over and sat up.
"I'll go start the shower."
I was standing, letting the water wash away his dried come from my body, when he pulled back the curtain. I silently made room. He kissed me briefly and then stepped into the spray. We didn't linger, we were both hungry. He followed me back to the bedroom and headed for his clothes on the chair.
"Alex, the armoire on that side has some things for you, if you don't want to wear what you had on before. We'll have to go out to eat, there isn't really anything much to eat here."
I watched as he opened the top drawer, then closed it; that one was designed for accessories, with compartments for watches and cufflinks.
"Try the third one."
He pulled out a pair of underwear and stepped into them. Without asking, he stepped to the closet and opened the door. He picked out a shirt; held it out to me, and when I took it, he added a pair of dress slacks. Then I watched as he checked out the things I'd purchased for him.
He was soon dressed, looking good enough to eat in the casual slacks and lightweight sweater. He obviously didn't think so. He looked up and I saw the pain in his eyes.
"When will you be able to be fitted for an arm?"
"I'm not sure. I need to see someone here."
"I can probably find someone for you."
"Walter, is there any profession that you don't have ties to?"
"Not really. If you'd be more comfortable we can do take-out."
"Yeah, I would."
"No problem. I'll run out and I'll also get something for breakfast and we can shop in the afternoon tomorrow."
I stepped toward him and he met me half way. A goodbye kiss and I was on my way.
While Walter was gone, I explored the house. He'd only completed three rooms. The rest still needed work. I was sure that he'd been doing the work himself. He's the kind of man who would want it done a particular way, and wouldn't trust that to contractors. I found post-its here and there with notes in his neat hand; things like colors or what he felt should go in that spot. One room was filled with furniture that I decided must be earmarked for certain rooms.
If the stuff he'd reupholstered had matched some of the pieces in there, I was really glad he'd made the change. Had he built it from the ground up, he couldn't have found a place I'd be more comfortable with. The doorbell rang, and I hurried to it, thinking Walter was loaded down. As I pulled the door open, my greeting died on my lips.
"Hello, you must be, Alex. I'm Nathan. I live next door. Walter told me he'd be bringing you to see the place when you got back from Europe. How was the trip?" I was awe struck; he said all that without taking a breath.
"Walter isn't here. He ran out to the store."
"I wondered where the car was. What do you think? Of the house I mean. He's been nervous as a cat that you wouldn't like it."
"Walter was worried?"
"Hell, yeah. He reminds me of me when I was fixing up the place next door for my lover. You're every bit as gorgeous as he said you were. Listen, I can't stay, Raul will be home soon and it's my night to cook. Why don't you and Walter come for a drink later? Raul will be green that I got to meet Walter's intended before he did. Bye now."
I felt as if I'd run a marathon, the man had sucked up all the air in the room. But as his words sunk in, I felt a warm glow that started in my belly and spread outward in all directions. Walter had told the neighbors about me. Fuck that, Walter had bragged about me.
I met him at the door when he got back, taking the bags, putting them on the floor; I backed him up and attacked his mouth. When I let him come up for air, he panted at me.
"What was that for?"
"Telling Nathan that I'm gorgeous. We're invited over for drinks after dinner."
"You mean you have energy left? The man wears me out."
"You'd better mean by talking your ear off."
"Wait until you see Raul. There is no way I'd mess with his property. Bikers run from him. He's a giant; I don't know why Nathan isn't broken."
"Does he talk as much?"
"No, thank god. Do you want to go over for a drink?"
"Well, since I'm your 'intended' I should probably get to know our neighbors."
Walter groaned and covered his face. "I don't think I ever used that word. I'm sure I told him you were my lover."
"Lover sounds pretty fine as well."
I bent to pick up a bag and Walter grabbed up the others. He put away the breakfast foods as I set the table for our first dinner together in our home. ‘Home’, a word I never expected to apply to me.
I was nervous as we walked across the yard to the neighbors’ house. The door was flung open almost before the bell stopped sounding. Walter was right; Raul was a mountain. He had black wavy hair, a neat beard, and I'd be willing to bet his thighs were as big as Nathan's waist. But there wasn't an ounce of fat on the man anywhere.
His voice surprised me; it was soft and gentle. "Come in, Walter. You must be Alex. It's nice to meet you, finally."
He extended his hand and I shook it. I felt as I had when my father had taught me to shake hands when I was five. If that old thing about the size of a man's hands was correct, Nathan must be a size queen.
He ushered us into a living room that was all pastels that somehow didn't look so feminine with him in the room. Nathan came into the room with a tray that he placed on the coffee table.
"Champagne seemed to be called for. Of course, I can get something stronger if you'd like."
"I think champagne is a fine idea."
Nathan served the wine and then perched on the arm of the chair Raul was sitting in. "A toast. To new beginnings, may our friendship flourish."
We drank our wine and soon Nathan had scooted off the arm and into Raul's lap. Walter's hand rested lightly on my thigh as we talked about the town and Nathan gave me tips on the best places to get fresh fruits, and which grocery had the freshest fish. Raul said very little, but what he did say was informative.
I found myself relaxing as the conversation went on, and Nathan refilled our glasses several times. Nathan was prattling along and suddenly asked the question I had hoped wouldn't come up.
"Alex, you're so attractive why don't you have a prosthesis?"
Walter stiffened beside me and Raul rumbled warningly, "Nathan, hush."
"It's okay, Raul. It was a simple question and one I'll probably be asked again. I only lost my arm a short time ago, while I was out of the country."
Nathan was instantly on his feet and came to sit beside me. "Oh dear, me and my big mouth. I'm so sorry. Walter had never mentioned it, so I just thought it had happened long ago."
"Nathan." Raul's voice sounded almost harsh.
"Walter didn't know until I got home. I didn't – I mean – "
"You thought it would make a difference to Walter."
I looked up into the warmest brown eyes this side of Walter's. "Yeah, silly, huh?"
Walter's hand squeezed my thigh. "I think we should head home. I know it's Friday night but we haven't been together for some time. I'm sure you understand."
"Of course, we do. Hell, when Raul is gone for more than a single night I'm so horny…"
"Yes, dear." Nathan's grin was anything but repentant. I decided I liked him a lot.
Walter and I wandered home hand in hand. He pointed me toward the bedroom, "Go, I'm just going to lock up."
I went into the bedroom and by the time Walter joined me, I had the bed turned down and was lighting a couple of candles that were sitting on top of my armoire. He came directly to me and wrapped his arms around me.
"Do you want to show me the ceiling?"
"It is my turn, after all."
He twisted in my arms to kiss me. By the time he pulled back, he'd managed to unbutton my shirt. As his hand slipped up my chest, a shiver ran through me. I hadn't bottomed before I met him. Then again, I hadn't been in love until I met him.
From the beginning, Alex was different from anyone else. As I said, I'd seen the broken part of him in his eyes. I don't think he'd ever realized that I was broken, too.
I grew up in a homophobic time. As a teen, I'd been skinny, shy, scared to death that someone would see my shameful secret. So what had I done? I joined the Marines, thinking they'd make a man of me, that I could somehow get past the desire to fuck my own sex.
All that really happened was that I learned to be gruff, hide my feeling better. Oh, and they did buff me up. The training had added muscle to my thin frame. I came out of Nam outwardly a man, but the boy scared of his desires was still inside.
I tried to be straight, fucked women, got married. But there were the nights that my need drove me. I'm not proud of cheating on my wife, but when I was in another town, I always found a gay bar and a willing boy.
Men like me attract the boys who want a daddy, and that was just fine with me. There’s a school of thought that goes: as long as you’re pitching exclusively, you’re not gay; you’re just obtaining release. Some men use this to justify continuing to consider themselves straight. I never really managed to sell that shit to myself.
When I met Alex, my dick stood up, my ass quivered and I damn near forgot to breathe. So it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to me to give him my cherry. Not that he'd tried for it. I'd offered. And the look in his eyes when I did, made the pain, awkwardness and stained sheets worth it, ten times over.
After the first time, his confidence grew and so did his technique. I watched as Alex began to learn how to make love to me with one hand. No more teasing a nipple with one hand while rolling my balls with the other. But he could suck on my nipple while playing with my balls, and he proceeded to show me how good that could feel.
When we finally got to the bed, I positioned myself, shoving a pillow under my hips to raise them. He knelt between my legs and just looked at me for a long moment. I saw the fear in his eyes.
"Alex, it just means we find different ways, that's all. It won't be any less glorious, how could it? My pleasure comes as much from your love for me as it does from how you make love to me."
He made a noise that I don't know how to describe, and then he was on me, body to body, lips kissing, sucking and biting. I whimpered, the man knows how much I love being bitten. He also knows how much I love his voice.
"Gonna fuck you, old man. Gonna fuck that sweet ass. Gonna give you my hard cock."
Now I have to tell you, he could have been reading a textbook and I still would have been writhing and moaning under him. But this particular lingo was his fantasy and it made him hotter. I always knew when he called me old man that I was in for a hard, rough fuck.
He rose up and reached for the lube. I almost drooled as I watched him slick himself. He grabbed my dick and stroked it a few times.
"Get those legs up and show me that hole. Show me where you want me to stick this rod."
I moaned and immediately raised my legs to rest on his shoulders. He nipped at my calf; I jerked up toward him.
"You want me?"
"Then put me in you."
I reached for him, directing him to me. He pushed in just the head and then grinned down at me.
"More, please. I need more."
"How much more?"
"All of it, I want all of you."
"Greedy old man, aren't you?"
"Only for you."
At the word ‘you’, he pushed all the way into me. The burn was short and wonderful. As he pumped into me, I rocked up as much as I could to meet him. His hips snapped forward and back, the sound of skin slapping against skin loud, and very erotic to me. Each of his thrusts sent all he had into me and my ass was telegraphing its pleasure at being used so roughly, straight up my spine to my brain.
He pushed the leg on his right side down to curve around his waist and then his hand was on me, tugging and fondling my balls, wrapping around my dick, his thumb rubbing hard over my slit, then the tip of his finger probing at the hole, almost as if he was trying to invade me there as well.
I whimpered with the effort of holding back my climax.
"Want to come, don't you?"
"Only when I say, not till then. Understand?"
"Please! Need it."
His hand stroked me lightly, too lightly to get me that last little bit over the edge. He bent low and kissed me, holding still inside me. Then he pulled back and grinned at me.
"Are you ready?'
His grin widened, he pulled back and rammed into me, while pulling hard on my cock and rubbing the slit once more. I bellowed as I exploded in his hand. He pumped in and out of me, enjoying the extra squeeze of my ass as my climax continued to rocket through me. As the waves lessened, he slammed in once more and whispered my name as he filled me.
I don't remember the next little while. I slept, then woke sometime during the night to his shaking as he cried in his sleep. I pulled him close and softly called to him until he woke.
"Blackbird, I'm here. Wake up. I'm here."
"Walter?" He sounded confused.
"Yes, it's me. You're with me."
"I was dreaming about my arm. It hurt like nothing else ever has. It still hurts."
"I know. I know."
He turned his face into my throat and sucked at the skin there. I caressed his body, offering touch to drive away the nightmare.
"You still want me. You don't know how much that means to me."
"Shush, now. I've wanted you from the minute I saw you. Nothing is ever going to change that."
He snuggled in even closer. I thought he'd gone back to sleep until he spoke.
"Walter, why did you call me Blackbird?"
"Just seems to fit. It's from a song by the Beatles."
"How does it go?"
"The part that I thought of was the first verse.
'Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive'. "
"Because of my arm."
"It isn't just that, Alex. We've both been broken, and put ourselves back together, but it's never been as good as new. I don't think we can be alone. My broken spaces fit into yours like pieces of a puzzle fit together, and once the puzzle is finished you get a wonderful, beautiful picture."
"You really think we can have that?"
"Someday. This house is a start. It’ll be a place for you to rest when you need to. A place for us to shut out the world for a while."
"I love you, Walter."
I hugged him closer and tilted his head up for a kiss. He'd finally said the words. Nothing could stop us now.
Nathan got out of his car and opened the trunk to remove the grocery bags from his shopping trip.
He swung around searching for the voice; he saw no one near-by. The street was empty except for a neighbor five houses up and across. He knew it couldn't have been him; he was just barely civil, and Nathan felt sure that was because he feared Raul. Turning back to the car, he bent forward again.
The front door opened, and Raul looked out. He watched as Nathan stepped away from the car toward Walter and Alex's house. Nathan broke into a run; Raul jumped over the porch railing and followed. He saw Nathan stop and bend down over what looked like a pile of clothes.
Nathan touched Alex gently; it was obvious he'd been beaten; one eye was swollen shut, his prosthesis hung at a strange angle. He was curled into a ball, his good arm wrapped around his ribs.
"Alex, my god."
Alex cracked his good eye open. "Heard me."
"Just barely. Raul call the paramedics!"
"No! House… call Walter." Alex's head rolled back, and Nathan knew he was out. He wasn't sure why, but he did as Alex asked.
"I'll get the key. Stay here with him."
"Nathan, he needs a doctor."
"Probably, but its Walter's call now. The two of them have secrets and I think Alex has a good reason for staying away from hospitals."
Raul didn't like the idea, but he crouched down next to Alex as Nathan ran to get the key. When Nathan opened the door, Raul gently lifted Alex and carried him inside. When he reached the bedroom with his burden, he found the bed turned down.
Nathan already had the phone in his hand. There was no answer at the condo number. He disconnected, looking at Raul.
"No answer. I'll have to go to the house and get the work number."
Nathan and Raul looked down. "Anything I should tell him besides to get here?"
"Bring Scully and Mulder."
Nathan nodded and hit the speed dial. Kim was putting on her coat to leave when the phone rang. She groaned, but walked over to pick it up.
"AD Skinner's office."
"I need to speak to Walter, please."
"May I take a message?"
"Is he there or not? This is an emergency."
"Who's calling please?"
"This is Nathan."
Walter's office door opened; he had on his coat, ready to leave. Kim covered the mouthpiece of the phone.
"Sir, its someone named Nathan; he says it's an emergency."
Kim was shocked at the way Skinner grabbed the phone from her.
"Nathan, what is it?"
"Walter, Alex is here. He's hurt and he won't let us call paramedics."
"I'll be there as soon as I can."
"He said to bring Scully and Mulder."
"Shit, that will slow me down." Turning to look at Kim's startled face he ordered, "Get Scully and Mulder! Tell them I need them right away, and tell Scully to bring her medical bag."
She hurried to use the phone in his office, since he hadn't ended his call.
"Nathan, will you stay with him until I get there?"
"Stupid question, Walter."
"Not so stupid. What if whoever hurt him knows were he is and comes looking for him?"
"Raul's here. I can have him get his gun if you think we might need it."
"Is Alex awake?"
"Let me talk to him, then I'll know."
Walter heard a small sound and cringed at the pain it contained.
"Alex, do they know where you are?"
"Good. Nathan and Raul will stay with you until we get there. Kim is tracking down Mulder and Scully now. Hang on; I'll be there soon. I love you."
"Walter, he's out again. Raul and I will try and do what we can until you get here. He needs a doctor."
"Scully is a doctor." The door flew open and Mulder entered the room. One down, one to go, thought Walter. "Nathan, we'll be there as quickly as we can. Thank you."
"Just be careful, you can't take care of him if you wrap your car around a telephone pole."
I disconnected the call and turned to look at Mulder and Kim. They were both watching me as if a straight jacket were looming in my future. Mulder, in his usual way, jumped into the possible line of fire.
"Sir, what's going on?"
"We need to get to Maryland. Alex is hurt, needs medical care and he asked for you and Scully. I imagine that means he has some intel. Kim, did you find Scully?"
"She's on her way back here. She hadn't gotten home yet."
"Good, thank you, Kim. You can go on home, but come in a little early tomorrow; I won't be in. Once you cancel my appointments, take the rest of the day off."
The phone on the desk rang and Skinner grabbed it.
"Sir, I'm pulling into the parking garage, do you need me up there?"
"No, Mulder and I will come down; meet us at my car, please."
Mulder kept looking at me on the way down in the elevator. I knew he was dying to ask. I also knew that there was no way he wouldn't get the full picture once we arrived at the house. As good as he is at profiling, he'd probably figure out which one of us topped last. So being the cantankerous bastard that I am, I decided to make him wait for it.
Scully was waiting next to my car; bag in hand. She and Mulder exchanged looks as I opened the doors; he shrugged. They got into the car without comment. I pulled out of the building, threading through traffic, and as soon as I hit the freeway, I floored it.
Scully gasped from the backseat and Mulder just gripped the handle above his window. The drive was silent, thank god. If either of them had tried to talk to me, I'd have probably wrecked the car. I pulled up at the house, was out, running toward the door before Mulder had opened his seatbelt. Raul opened the door as I reached it and I barreled past him without a word.
Nathan was kneeling by the bed, tenderly holding an ice bag against Alex's swollen face. He looked up at me as I sat on the other side of the bed.
"He keeps floating in and out, Walter. I really think he needs to go to a hospital."
"I can't keep him safe in a hospital." I reached out to touch him carefully. That alone caused his head to turn toward me.
"He knows your touch."
I heard Raul's voice as he led Scully and Mulder toward the room. Nathan rose and moved out of the way as Scully moved right to the bed. She checked his pulse before she even put down her bag. Mulder for once kept quiet.
I sat, keeping contact with him as Scully examined him.
"Sir, I need to get x-rays. His ribs are probably cracked and there could be occipital damage."
"We can't keep him safe in a hospital, Scully."
"He's right, Scully. Krycek has too many enemies."
I looked at Raul, surprised to hear him interject.
"I know a doctor with his own x-ray facilities. I'm sure he'd let your friend here use them. Private clinic, this time of night it will be closed."
"Thank you, Raul."
He nodded and left the room.
"Raul has become quite fond of your Alex, Walter." Nathan said. "He's been keeping watch ever since I called you. We'll need to get him wrapped up to take him there. I'll go borrow Mrs. King's van for transport."
I could feel Scully and Mulder watching me as Nathan left the room. Scully moved over to stand next to Mulder, averting her eyes when I pulled the sheet back and rolled Alex's bruised body carefully onto a blanket.
"How long, Sir?"
I didn't need to ask how long what. Nor was I surprised that Scully asked instead of Mulder. Mulder would have put all the pieces together in his head by that point.
"Years. I wouldn't have brought you into this if he hadn't asked me to. If you don't wish to care for him I'll ask Raul's friend to do it."
"Scully, take care of him. The fewer people involved the better."
"Mulder, you hate him…"
"Scully, don't you get it? Skinner said years. That means some of the information he's passed on to us came from Krycek."
"He got the information that led you to Mulder in time to save him, Scully."
I dropped my bombshell just as Raul came back. "Walter, Nathan has the van out front. Want me to carry him out?"
"No, I can get him." I tossed my keys to Mulder. "Follow us or go back to the city, up to you."
I lifted Alex and carried my precious burden through the house. I heard Raul rumble something to them, then hurried footsteps behind me. As Raul closed the van door, I saw them getting into my car. Nathan drove, with Raul giving him instructions.
We pulled up at the back of the small building, Raul jumping out to open the door. A man in a lab coat was standing next to a gurney. Raul lifted Alex before I could get out and placed him on the gurney. I watched as Mulder and Scully stepped from my car.
Raul and his friend were already pushing the gurney up the ramp. Nathan's hand landed on my shoulder as he walked with me. We followed toward the room with the x-ray equipment. Alex picked that moment to wake, and seeing a white lob coat, he panicked, trying to scramble from the gurney. I pushed the doctor to the side and called him.
"Blackbird, it's okay." I'd never called him that in front of anyone else; it worked better than his name would have. He turned to focus on me.
"Walter, where are we?"
"It's a clinic, owned by a friend of Raul's."
"Did you bring Mulder and Scully?"
"We're here, Krycek."
He turned toward Mulder's voice. "I have the antidote. Had to inject it, only way to get it out."
Mulder pushed Raul to the side to get to the gurney. "You're sure it works?"
"Saw it work."
"People, can we get the man to x-ray?"
Raul picked Mulder up and set him aside, then starting pushing the gurney again. Nathan grinned at the stunned expression on Mulder's face. But then, Nathan was used to being moved where his lover wanted him.
I shut them out then, holding onto Alex's hand as we moved him into the x-ray lab. They set things up as I concentrated on him.
"Sir, you need to leave while we shoot."
"Come on, Walter. We'll wait outside."
I reluctantly let Raul pull me out into the corridor. As soon as the door was opened again, I was back at his side. They left us alone while the x-rays were developed.
"Alex, this is it for you. Time you retired."
He tried to smile, but stopped when it made his face hurt. I bent to kiss him.
"I was afraid I wouldn't make it to you. Didn't know how much damage they'd done to me."
"Hush now, rest."
Walter bent to kiss me again, and I forgot the pain for a little while. Retire, he'd said. For the first time, I felt that I could. Neither of us heard the door, but we did hear the gasp. Walter hadn't bothered to cover me back up, so I was bare. At Scully's reaction he flipped the blanket over me.
"Sir, we have a room set up down the hall."
Walter reached for the gurney and helped me move onto it. Didn't take long to get me down the hall. He stood next to me holding my hand, uncaring that Mulder and Scully were in the room. Once the x-rays were checked, my ribs were bound. Scully took what felt like half of my blood and went off to the lab with it. The other doctor finished examining me and left as well.
Mulder stepped over to the exam table once Scully and the doctor had left the room.
"Seems I've been pretty blind for a profiler. Thank you for all that you've done."
"I didn't do it for you, Mulder."
He left the room. Nathan and Raul stepped over and smiled down at me. As usual it was Nathan who spoke.
"David gave us some good drugs for you. He said it's fine to take you home and gave us a list of instructions. Want to get out of here?"
"Yeah, I do. Thank you, for helping me."
"You're our friend, Alex." Raul told me.
They put me back on the gurney and rolled me out, Nathan making a side trip to tell the others we were leaving. Walter held me carefully on the trip home. Once they had me in my own bed, doped to the gills, Nathan announced that he would go make dinner. Raul said he'd be in the living room if we needed him.
"Alex, I'm going to change clothes. Sleep if you can. I'll wake you when Nathan has some dinner ready."
I nodded, already drifting. It was so good to be home.
Alex was asleep by the time I was changed. I walked into the living room to find Raul sitting by the window, watching the street.
"Raul, I don't think anyone will come looking for him, he's very good at covering his tracks."
"Actually, I was watching to see if those people come back."
"Scully and Mulder? Why?"
"I don't like their attitude toward Alex, just plan on expressing that."
I was floored. I knew he liked us both but didn't realize he was that fond of Alex. And I knew it to be nothing more. Raul was so hopelessly in love with Nathan that he would never even consider cheating on him. As for Alex, I knew he was happy with me. I had no fear of him cheating, and he respected Nathan too much to mess with his lover.
"There's a lot of history among the four of us. Alex just brought them something that will make them look at him in a whole different light."
"Are they so blind then? That they can't see his goodness?"
"Alex doesn't consider himself to be all that good."
"Good comes from doing right, even when it isn't understood or popular."
"Alex would be glad to know you see that in him."
We had been so engrossed in talking that I hadn't heard the car. I did hear the footsteps on the porch, and rose to answer the door.
I led the way back to the living room, motioned to seats.
"What did you find?"
"There are antibodies in his blood that I've never seen. I want to get to a more complete lab and work on this, but we didn't want to leave you here." Scully answered.
"Alex's car is in the garage, we can use it to get around. I won't be going back to the city until he's able to care for himself."
Mulder studied me. I knew when the realization hit him. Scully, while brilliant in her way, will never make the leaps Mulder does, but she does read his face fairly well.
"Mulder, what are you smirking about?"
Before he could answer, Nathan came and stood in the doorway, "Excuse me, I didn't realize they were here. Do I need to make my dinner go further?"
His voice did not have the warmth I was used to. Mulder stood and pulled Scully to her feet.
"We need to get on the road. Sir, I'll call you when I know more. Come on Scully."
I walked them to the door; as Scully preceded him out, he turned to me. "Sir, where shall I park your car?"
"At the Hoover will be fine, Mulder."
"Yes, Sir. You'll be leaving soon, won't you?"
"Yes, I bought this house to retire to."
Mulder held out his hand, I took it. "Thank him again. As soon as we have the first batch ready, I'll bring enough for you."
"Raul, Nathan and the doctor as well."
I heard Alex's voice float over my shoulder. "Mulder, start with the ones you know you can trust, you'll need them."
I turned to wrap my arm around him for support.
"Which ones do you suggest?"
"Everyone you saw into when you could read minds. After that, take a page from an old scifi story."
"Invasion of the Body Snatchers. And remember the securest way to run a revolution."
Mulder grinned, "I'll do that. Get better. Goodnight, Sir."
Then he jogged out to the car. Alex sagged a little against me, but Raul was right there bracing him on the other side.
"You need to go back to bed."
"I need to eat, haven't eaten in two days."
"Raul, take him back to the bedroom. Walter, come with me and we'll fix dinner trays. We'll picnic on your bed."
I looked at Raul as he lifted Alex effortlessly. "Raul, I expected you to say something to them."
"Body language was better, more respectful. I think they came to enlightenment tonight."
He swept past me and Nathan tugged on my arm. I followed him into the kitchen. "Walter, I wanted something that would be easy on Alex's stomach. I know he loves egg drop soup, so I made that, and shrimp stir-fry. I also made a light chocolate pudding for him; he looks thin."
"Well you certainly know what he likes."
I pulled out the bed tray for Alex's dinner. Nathan started arranging dishes as I got us all beer from the fridge. We ended up with two full trays and headed toward the bedroom. I could make out the rumble of Raul's voice as he said something to Alex.
Alex was propped up against the headboard, pillows around him to support his body. Raul leaned against the bedpost at the foot, his big bare feet resting next to Alex's hips. Nathan placed the tray he carried across Raul's lap; I positioned the one I had over Alex's.
"Egg drop soup! And pudding. Nathan, you're way too good to me."
"And you, my dear Alex, are stoned. Walter, I don't think beer is a good idea in his condition."
"He won't drink more than a couple of sips, won't want his palate ruined for your pudding."
I made myself comfortable next to Alex as Nathan sat cross-legged next to Raul. Everything was in bowls to make it easier for four grown men to eat in bed. There was no conversation until we finished the soup course, and I was surprised that it was Raul who started it.
"Walter, I know you and Alex have your secrets, but I heard enough today to know something big is happening. And since Nathan and I are involved now – I need to know – what will Mulder be bringing for us when the batch is done?"
"You're probably going to think I'm insane if I tell you everything."
I was surprised that Nathan was not being his usual chatty self. But later Alex would tell me that Nathan often deferred to Raul; I just hadn't seen it, because I didn't spend as much time with them as he had.
"For several years now Mulder has been tracking down a global conspiracy. There is a plan in the works, by alien beings, to take over the planet. Alex has been undercover with the human collaborators, bringing out information when he could. Mulder didn't know until today that Alex and I are lovers, or that the information I'd passed on to him was acquired by Alex."
"So what did Alex inject himself with?"
"The aliens are coming at us from several angles. One of the things they do is gestate in a human host. Alex brought us an antidote that will prevent them from using anyone who has been vaccinated that way."
"It will also prevent us from coming back, Walter."
I turned to look at Alex, touching his hand. "Good, that would be even more horrible for me."
"Well, you'll never have to worry about that again."
Nathan was looking stunned, Raul merely thoughtful.
"You think we're insane, right?"
"No, Walter. I've seen things that made me wonder, back when I lived in New York. What do you mean by coming back? The more I know the better I can look after us, until we get the vaccination."
We talked, and after a while Nathan took the trays into the kitchen. He came back and curled up with his head on Raul's thigh. Alex's head had dropped to my shoulder long before, I'd shifted him to get my arm around him.
Raul and I had moved on to other subjects, as we'd found a lot of common ground. I wasn't sure why he believed us, but it was good to have another ally. His hand caressed Nathan's hair as Nathan drifted off to sleep.
After a while, the conversation wound down, and I slipped into sleep without realizing it. I woke to birdsong, my neck stiff from sleeping in the same position all night. Nathan's bare foot was resting on my crotch, as he slept facedown between Raul's legs.
Alex had shifted just enough during the night to snuffle warm breath across my throat. I'm not sure how Raul had turned without falling off the bed, but his legs were in a large V. His big hands were wrapped up in Nathan's hair, making it look like he was being blown.
It was a not unpleasant sight to wake up to. In different circumstances, I'd have just sat and waited for everyone to wake up, but my bladder had other ideas. Note: after drinking beer, piss, before going to sleep. I managed to ease out of the bed, shifting Alex to lie almost flat, not easy with two other men in the bed.
I was still standing at the toilet when Nathan barreled into the room. "Scoot over."
"Do you have no sense of privacy?"
"You want privacy or a wet bed?" I moved to the side and gave him room. I'd almost finished anyway.
I was at the sink washing my hands when Raul joined us.
"Walter, Alex is asking for you."
I hurried out to check on him. I sat down next to him; he grinned up at me.
"Need to pee, Walter."
I reached out to help him sit up; he was warm to the touch. I bent and put my cheek against his forehead.
"Alex, I think you have a fever."
"Probably; most of the test subjects ran a fever."
"How long did it last?"
"A couple of days. It's like getting an inoculation, Walter. You might feel achy when you have yours; I'm hurting too much from being beaten to tell you for sure."
I steadied him as he rose, and we made our way to the bathroom. Raul was coming out; "Nathan went home to shower. He offered to make breakfast for you guys."
"I can manage, thank him for me."
"We'll see you later, then. Give a yell if you need us."
I watched until Alex was by the toilet, then went to lock the door behind Raul. I wasn’t worried really, but better to keep things locked for now. When I got back Alex was brushing his teeth.
"I’ll go start the coffee."
Alex mumbled something that sounded like ‘thanks’. I was pulling out the mix for waffles when he walked carefully into the room.
"Sleeping with the neighbors. I’m sure we're the gossip of the entire street this morning."
I chuckled at him. "Too bad none of us got laid; they probably think we were having an orgy. Although, when I woke up I thought Raul was getting blown until my eyes focused."
"Can you imagine what they think about you and Raul carrying me around?"
"'Kinky homos', is what I think old man Johnson said. Personally, I think he's jealous."
"Of which one of us?"
The phone rang before I could answer him. I'd left it in the bedroom and it'd clicked to voicemail before I got to it. I took it back to the kitchen with me. It rang as soon as I placed it on the counter.
"Sir, just calling with an update. Scully's found no known diseases in Alex's blood. On closer look, she found two different sets of antibodies."
"One to stop the gestation, one to prevent conversion to super soldiers."
"Damn, tell Alex thanks again. I'd give him a kiss if I wasn't afraid of you or Raul ripping me in two."
I laughed, "I wouldn't hurt you over a kiss, as long as no tongue was involved. How long before the first batch is ready?"
"A few days. The first one will be small; Scully is insisting on more testing before she gives it to anyone outside our closed group."
"I wouldn't expect anything less of her. We'll talk to you soon then."
I turned the phone off, smiled at Alex as I went back to making waffles. For the next few days we took it easy. Alex was having quite a bit of pain so I pampered him, and so did Raul and Nathan. They insisted on cooking for us every night.
And I do admit that since Alex was in no condition for our usual favorite form of recreation, the company was welcome. We became closer friends than before.
Mulder stood on the porch, a sassy grin on his face.
"Where's Papa bear?"
"Are you actively seeking pain, Mulder?"
"Walter would not like being called Papa Bear."
"I wasn't talking about him. I meant that mountain of a neighbor."
"Raul is probably at work. Come on in."
"Where is your better half?"
"He went out to buy groceries. I assume you brought the innoculations?"
"Yes, and Scully is working on an oral form, so we can give it to people without their knowledge, if necessary."
"Want to save all the anti vaccination fanatics?"
"Eventually; I won't play god, Alex."
I'd led him into the kitchen as we talked and he dropped into a chair.
"I didn't expect that you would. Want something to drink?"
"Anything cold. So, think I might wangle an invitation to dinner? I'll even help cook."
"I have no problems with your staying for dinner. But I've been in your apartment, and I don't think Walter would want just coffee and peanut butter for dinner. So we'll let him and Papa Bear cook."
I heard the car pull in and the beep of the horn. Thrusting the bottle of beer I'd pulled from the fridge at him, I opened the back door. Walter was bent over the trunk hauling out bags.
"I saw Mulder's car out front. How long has he been here?"
"Long enough to be offered a beer and dinner."
I reached to take a bag from him, only to watch him frown. He was still treating me as if I'd break, a situation I'd been hoping to rectify that night; I was damn horny. He relented, slightly, "Grab the chips."
I walked to the trunk to find a bag with two types of chips inside. Now that would strain me. I reached the kitchen just as Mulder pulled out a small zippered pouch, much like diabetics use to carry their supplies.
"This is enough for six people. I brought extra in case the doctor has a wife. I can get you more in a week."
"Raul has family, Nathan is on his own. But I do have other friends who would take it on my word."
"Well, let me know how many you need."
"I'll do that. Alex, Nathan called; he's bringing home wine. He said Raul would be here soon to help with the cooking."
"Walter, I'm better; I can help you."
He walked over to me and kissed me, a slow, soft, unhurried kiss. "I know you are, but let me enjoy spoiling you a little longer."
Now how could I argue with that? Especially when he'd just declared us in a way that could not be misunderstood. Stepping back, he grinned at me.
"I will let you put things away while I get changed. Mulder, are you going to give me the shot?"
"Yes, Sir. Scully said it has to be administered in the ass."
I swung around, seeing the mischief in Mulder's eyes as Walter burst into laughter.
"Nice try, Agent, but I'm not showing you my ass."
Walter left the room, still snickering. Mulder shrugged at me. "Thought I'd take a stab at it."
"Just keep this in mind, Mulder, that ass may not have my name written on it, but it is mine, nevertheless. So hands off."
"Can't blame a guy for trying to cop a feel." He grinned at me and I saw no threat, just a man who had accepted me, finally.
Walter spends most of his days during the good weather taking care of the garden or our yard. I spend mine doing computer work, translations, security checks, or sometimes just watching him as he putters.
Mulder and Scully finally left the FBI. They married and bought a house close enough for visits. She works at a nearby hospital. Mulder still does occasional consultation for the FBI, but mostly he writes - true stories that everyone believes to be fiction.
The most recent one brought Nathan to the door in the middle of the night to ask for details. I called Mulder the next day to yell at him for my missed sleep. He just chuckled at me. He's right, only someone as involved in what happened, as Nathan was, would realize Mulder had been writing about me.
Nathan and Raul are our closest friends. I had expected them to run for the hills the night a super soldier showed up at our Fourth of July cook out. By that point, the four of us were all wearing small pieces of magnetite at all times. Walter and I had matching rings made of it, as well as the piece embedded next to our collarbones.
Nathan had puked, then pulled himself together and helped with clean up. I was damn proud of him. We'd all gotten shit faced after that, and gave the neighbors a new reason for gossip. The four of us had shared the bed again that night, but no one was in the mood for sex. It was all about comfort and security.
Although, I have to say if I was ever to consider straying, it would be with Raul or Nathan. Next to Walter, I have the most faith in them. But I think if it ever happened, it would be a group thing, the four of us together.
I know that occasionally they invite someone to join them for a night. Mulder slept at their place the night he brought our innoculations. I never asked if he actually slept in the guestroom. I suspect the guestroom wasn't used, based on the way he moved when he came to tell us goodbye.
Walter had once told me we were both broken. Neither of us feels broken anymore.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive
You were only waiting for this moment to arrive.
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