Title: Behind His Eyes
Author: Peach
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com
Fandom: X-Files
Pairings: Skinner/Krycek
Warnings: none
Rating: NC17
Date: 01/31/04
Disclaimer: The characters of the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright infringement is intended no money is being made.
Summary: A reunion story.
Notes: For My sweet Finn, thanks for the bunny and my snail mail goody.

 

 

Alex sat cross-legged, on the floor, leaning back against the sofa. A fire crackled in the fireplace. He finished tuning his guitar, then strummed a few chords. His voice was low and melodious as he began to sing.

"No one knows what it's like - To be the bad man - To be the sad man - Behind green eyes - No one knows what it's like - To be hated - To be fated - To telling only lies -
But my dreams - They aren't as empty - As my conscience seems to be…"

He finished the song, then sat silently as a single tear rolled down his cheek. He didn't know that he'd been heard, that he was being watched. In the shadows, Walter Skinner stood silently, his mind and heart warring. His heart wanted the man he watched. His head said he was a fool.

******

Walter had been at his desk. It was late and Kim and pretty much everyone else had left long ago. He'd just come back from a conference, so he was trying to get caught up. His laptop was open beside him. It was Friday night and he normally heard from one of the four. Most often, it was Scully or Monica; the ladies seemed to worry about him more.

He opened an envelope that had been marked confidential and a cell phone fell out followed by a CD and a card with a name and address. He slid the CD into his laptop as he checked the phone. Finding a pre-programmed number, he hit the dial key.

As the phone rang, he clicked open the CD. It looked like a realtor's presentation. The phone was picked up and a familiar voice spoke.

"Hello, Walter."

"Mulder, what's going on?"

"Are you looking at the CD?'

"Yes, but I don't – Fuck!"

"I don't have to ask where you are on the file."

"What is this? Is he a clone? Does he work for them?"

"He's not a clone. He's the real deal."

"That's not possible, Mulder. I killed him."

"You killed the twin. This is the brother who escaped. He's been hiding out quite well all these years."

Skinner reached out and traced the lips of the man on the screen. "I don't understand."

"This is the Alex we first met. The one who refused to kill us both."

"You don't know that."

"Yes. I do. All the evidence is on the CD. Watch it, Walter. Then go take back what is yours."

"What does that mean, Mulder?"

"He's yours, Walter. Go and get him. It's time you had some happiness in your life."

"What makes you think he's mine? Why would he refuse to kill us?"

"He couldn't kill you because he loved you. He wouldn't kill me because he thought you loved me. I always knew he wanted you. It was in his eyes every time he looked at you. Watch the CD, it'll clear everything up for you."

The phone clicked in his ear. He tried redialing but got no answer this time. He watched as the brief vid finished, then he moved on to the documents. He skimmed some of them, read some in their entirety, others he stared at for a long time. There was all the proof Mulder had told him would be there.

Leaning back in his chair, he rubbed his tired eyes and then noticed the time. Closing up his office, he headed for home. He slept fitfully, having dreams of green eyes and pink lips.

Saturday morning found him still tired but determined. He got on the phone and left a message saying he'd been called away on an emergency. Then he packed a bag, loaded his car and got on the road.

He didn’t reached the small town where Alex was living until late Monday afternoon. It took him a little longer to find the house. He parked just a short distance down the road and watched.

Alex drove into the driveway and the trunk of his car opened. A liver spotted Dalmatian ran out from the back of the house. Alex laughed as she jumped up and danced around him; even from where Walter was sitting he could see the dog grinning.

"Good girl, you missed Daddy, didn't you?' Alex petted the dog and then moved around to the back of the car. He pulled a rawhide chew toy from a bag and held it out. "Here you go, Penny. For my good girl."

She took the chew from him and trotted up on the porch, lying down in the sun and beginning to chew. Alex lifted several bags from the trunk and then slammed the lid. Walter continued to watch.

For two days, he watched, learning Alex's routine. When Alex went out on the third day, Walter made friends with Penny. Hamburgers seemed to be a real treat for her, except for the pickle that she spit out at him.

When he went back that night he took off the pickles before he gave her the burger. As she munched away, he slipped into the house.

******

Alex sat quietly. His mind drifted back to a past he was never able to shake. A lover he'd never known. A man he'd wanted to be, but never could. The life he still dreamed of having when he slept at night.

He brushed at the tear and shook his head. He put the guitar to the side and rose from the floor intending to cook some dinner. When he turned, he spotted the man watching him and jumped.

"Hello, Alex."

"My name is Zander. How did you get in here?"

"Penny likes Mickey d's."

"You gave my dog a greasy burger?"

"Do you know a better way to make friends with a dog? She's a real beauty. How have you been?"

"I want you to leave. I don't know who you think I am, but you're mistaken."

"No need to hide from me. Mulder sent me the information. He wouldn't have done that if he wasn't sure. There's no reason to worry. I didn't come here to hurt you or expose you."

"Suppose I was who you think I am, then why have you come here?"

"There was an attraction, at least on my part. Mulder thinks you had similar feelings."

"Attraction? What does that mean? You want to fuck me?"

"That's part of it. But I want more than that."

"I – I want you to leave now."

"Please, Alex, don't go with the knee jerk reaction. I know you have no reason to believe me. Give me a chance to show you the truth."

"How do you plan to do that?"

"Why don't we start with dinner and conversation, maybe even a movie."

"Are you asking for a date?"

"I guess I am."

"When?"

"Is tonight too soon?"

"I like Chinese."

"Any good places for it near here?"

"Yeah. I need to shower and change. I'll meet you there."

"Okay. Give me directions."

Alex followed Walter to the door and watched as Penny danced around the big man. Walter bent to give the dog a good petting before heading back to his car.

Alex tried to put his mind on hold as he showered and dressed. He actually considered putting Penny in the car and running. But, in the end, he arrived at the restaurant at the appointed time.

He'd picked one at a mall so if Walter was serious about a movie they could go to one. Part of him expected it to be a ruse to get him out and make a fool of him. He knew Skinner had nothing to arrest him on.

He was a little surprised to find Skinner waiting. Not only waiting but looking sharp in a silky black shirt and jeans you could almost count his pulse through. Alex had dressed carefully as well. He wore a lightweight sweater in a color that brought out the green of his eyes and slacks instead of jeans.

Walter smiled at him and turned to let the hostess know his dinner guest had arrived. She led them to a table, left the menus and went to get their drinks.

"I was a little afraid you'd stand me up."

"I considered running. But I couldn't do that to Penny. She's too good a girl to treat that way."

"Remind me to buy her a Big Mac."

"I will not. You can buy her a pig ear."

"Okay. I'll do that."

The waitress brought their drinks and took their orders. They discussed movies and decided what to go see after dinner. As they ate, Alex told him how he'd come to own Penny. From there, they moved to other topics. None of which included Mulder, the X Files, or anything from the past.

When the check came, Walter put his credit card on top of it and Alex didn't object. They crossed the parking lot to the multiplex and again Alex allowed Walter to pay. Once inside Alex headed for the concession stand and Walter followed.

"You didn’t get enough to eat?"

"Sure, but you want me to have the full date experience don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, movies call for a minimum of chocolate and soda."

Walter grinned and pulled out his wallet. He totally ignored the looks as Alex ordered a large soda and chocolate almonds but he paid for them. Alex led the way inside the theatre and led Walter into the back row.

Walter leaned over and asked softly, "Do you normally sit this far back?"

"Only on dates."

That got Alex the biggest smile of the evening. Alex opened the box of candy and began to munch. He offered some and Walter shook his head. By the time the movie started, the candy was gone.

Not long into the movie, Alex began to lean against him and after a couple of minutes, Walter put his arm around him. When Walter kissed the top of Alex's head and nuzzled into his hair, Alex tilted his head back and accepted a kiss.

They stayed that way until the credits began to roll. Then they pulled apart. Walter walked with Alex to his car. They stood talking, reluctant to part.

"If you want I could cook dinner for you tomorrow night."

"I'd like that. I'll bring wine."

"Okay. See you at six?"

"I'll be there."

Alex got into his car and Walter watched him drive away. Back at his hotel, he spent a long time remembering the evening. He didn't manage to go to sleep until after he jerked off with visions of Alex in his mind.

At Alex's, Penny jumped down onto the floor as her Daddy did that thing that made the bed shake too hard for her to sleep.

******

Walter stayed for a week and they saw each other every night. There was no sex, just talking and kisses. Alex would have been willing but Walter wanted to be sure that Alex understood that he wanted more than sex from the relationship.

Penny started sleeping on the sofa, because it didn't move. She also took to meeting Walter at the door with a big grin and very little barking because the pig ear supply was endless.

At the end of the week, Walter put his cards on the table.

"Alex, I have to get back. I still need to keep up the front there; it's the only way to keep helping Mulder and the others. I can't ask you to give up your peace here."

"Then what are you asking, Walter?"

"It isn't fair to ask for anything, under the circumstances. But would it be okay for me to visit sometimes? Maybe when this is over we – if you can wait – "

"I'll be here."

"Thank you."

Walter pulled him in close and they kissed. Penny rubbed against Alex as he stood watching Walter drive away. She whined softly and he rubbed her ears.

"Don't worry girl, he'll come back to us."

Epilogue:

 

Walter smiled as Penny ran full tilt to him. She jumped, her feet caught by his hands as he chuckled at the grin she gave him. Giving her ears a good rub, he then opened the small bag and gave her the pig ear he'd brought.

Entering the house quietly, he heard Alex's guitar as the deep voice sang. This time the song was more upbeat, filled with love. Walter reached the doorway and stood until the song ended. When the last chord faded, Walter gently applauded.

Alex swung his head around, his guitar was pushed aside and he practically flew to Walter. The two shared a long kiss.

"Why are you here? I wasn't expecting you."

"Should I leave?"

"Try it and I'll break your knee caps."

Walter laughed and pulled Alex into another kiss. When they came up for air he spoke. "It's over, Alex. Mulder says it's safe for me to have a life and I believe him. So, my car is full of clothes and the few things I couldn't part with are in a truck on the way here. Will you help me find an apartment?"

"I'll do you one better."

"What's that?"

Alex didn't answer; he just pulled Walter through the hallway. He opened a door and flipped a light switch. "I cleared this out for you the week after you came to see me."

"Alex – I – damn."

Alex smiled. "Think this will work? I also have room in my closet and bought another dresser for the master bedroom."

"Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

"Horny?"

Walter roared with laughter. Grabbing Alex and hauling him close, he kissed him breathless. A big hand cupped Alex's ass as Walter ground into him. When Walter pulled back, Alex smiled.

"Want to see the bedroom now?"

"We can unload the car tomorrow."

"In the afternoon."

Walter followed Alex to the master bedroom. The two men undressed each other, kissing and teasing as they went. When they were naked, they fell onto the bed together. After a lot of kissing, Alex pulled back, panting.

"We never discussed who gets to top."

"I just figured we take turns."

"Are we flipping a coin to see who goes first?"

"Age before beauty."

"Skinner, shit like that will get you nowhere."

"Keep calling me Skinner and I might forget why we came in here."

"Ah, now you might, but I bet this won't." Alex reached between them and gave Walter's cock a gentle squeeze. Then he rolled away and opened the bedside drawer. Walter gasped as Alex rubbed lube onto his dick.

"Alex?"

"You're clean aren't you?" Walter nodded. "So am I. I don't want anything between us, ever again."

"I – Alex…"

"Fuck me, Walter."

"No." Alex looked surprised. "It's never going to be just fucking between us." Alex smiled softly.

As Walter lifted Alex's hips, Alex moaned. "I've been dreaming of this since the first time I saw you."

"God, I hope I can live up to that."

"You already do in one way."

"How's that?"

"Size, I've always been a size queen."

Walter positioned his cock and slipped into Alex's heat. He pumped slowly, making it last. After a few minutes, Alex wrapped his legs around Walter tighter and hissed at him.

"Harder!" Walter obliged and soon the bed was rocking.

The two men didn't see Penny giving them a disgusted look from the doorway. All things considered, she decided a pig ear a day was worth the inconvenience of sleeping on the sofa. Somehow, she just knew that her Daddy and Walter would be making the bed shake far too often for her to get enough sleep.

As she trotted back toward the living room, she heard her Daddy whining. Walter's voice grunted as he issued a command, "Come for me, Alex."

Alex screamed, "Walter." His come sprayed against Walter's stomach as Walter drove in deep and shot. The two froze as the aftershocks rolled over them. Then Walter slowly pulled out and rolled to the side. When he could breathe properly again, he turned to look at the sweaty man beside him.

"So, did it come close to your expectations?"

"Tomorrow, I'm ordering a case of lube."

"Just a case, huh?"

"That's for me, Walter. I'm ordering two for you."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Walter, pull up the covers and let me nap. I need to recharge my battery. I have plans for your ass later."

Walter adjusted the covers, pulled Alex close and closed his eyes.

"By the way, do you have expectations?"

"Lots, and I'm sure that every one will be taken care of."

"Faith, Walter?"

"Love, Alex."

A soft gasp, a tightening of the arm around him and a gentle kiss against his collarbone. Then a whisper, "Love. I can live with that."

The two men drifted to sleep as Penny kept guard outside the door.

The end.

 

Behind Blue Eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what it's like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

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