The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Disclaimer in part 1
Part 9: Pains of love be sweeter far than all other pleasures are.
"Yes, Bri, I think this is the best thing I've ever done. I'll see you soon. I love you. Bye."
He closes the phone and drops it back on the sofa. Then pulls me close for another kiss. We snuggle until my stomach decides to growl. He smiles at me and reluctantly pulls away.
"Guess I need to feed you again. Got to keep your strength up. Might want to make you do the work for a change."
He reached to pull me up and I run to turn on the shower because I know there will be no dinner until we clean up. We took our time bathing each other, I love sharing a shower with him. Dinner went much like the night before. He tells me stories about his sister and growing up with her. He assured me again that we would love each other.
When we go to bed that night he laid on his back and informed me that if I wanted to get laid I would have to do all the work. Work he calls it. Maybe we are going to make it. I just need to accept him at his word and stop judging him based on those that came before him.
I lay looking down at him as he sleeps. I hope what I said to him today got through. Even if I'm still not sure that *he* will stay if I weaken and can't keep up the level of sexual activity we have been practicing. I will give him the rest of my life if he wants it, I hope he does. I snuggle against him and he wiggles his ass back against me, molding himself to me. I make my plans for tomorrow as I drift off to sleep.
When I wake we are still spooned together and I grab the lube and am soon inside my Foxglove. He twists slightly so I can see his morning smile.
"God I love waking up with you inside me."
"I love being inside you first thing in the morning."
I *make love* to him this morning. I'm not sure if he detects the difference. After the way he made love to me last night he deserves to be repaid in kind. Last night I felt worshiped. His hands and mouth touched every part of me with such reverence. Everything before was the courtship; last night was the beginning of the honeymoon.
When I thrust into him and come I whisper that he is my life. When he turns his eyes to me they are bright and I know he detected the difference. Now don't be thinking this means we will never be down and dirty and play games again because it doesn't. It just means that we both know that the bond has been forged and whatever comes we'll face it together.
After breakfast I lead him down to the playroom. Time to make our own porn film. I've used all the camera equipment before so I set up while he wanders around looking nervous.
"What's the matter my Foxglove?"
"I just don't think we should be doing this."
"Hey I told you we'll keep it here or erase it before we leave. I want to show you what I *see*. Still pictures won't do that as well as a video will. Come on, I'll let you ride me while you watch it."
That brings a smile to his face. I found out last night how much he loves *riding* me. I set one camera up and have him lie on the massage table so I can get the angle right. The second camera is put in place and I stand him where I will be to make sure the camera will get him a good view of what I will be doing to him. Once I have everything set up I pull him close for a long kiss.
"Any requests, Fox. It's your movie so you want bondage, a little spanking or just vanilla sex?"
"Walter, sex with you could never be described as *vanilla*. Would you cuff me and a little *warm up* during would be nice."
"Is that all? Now's your chance to get what you want."
"If we like this could we maybe do another one sometime?"
"Does this mean we are keeping this epic?"
"Only if it stays here under lock and key. I won't chance taking it back to DC."
"Ok, Fox. When we go back to DC I want you to meet Martin too. If anything happened me he needs to know who would be coming to get my stuff from here."
"Don't talk about that, please. I came too close to loosing you, I don't even want to think about it."
I pulled him close and growled that I wasn't going anywhere. Then I lead him to the table. I had spread a towel over it so his soon to be sweating body wouldn't stick to the leather. I kept contact with him as he arranged his long body stomach down with his hips off the end of the table. I attach the cuffs to his wrists and fasten them to the rings on the side of the table. I leave him some slack but not enough to go far. Not that I think he is going to try to get away. His breathing speeds up and I can tell he is getting excited. That breathing ratchets up more when I pull the strap from under the table to buckle securely around his waist. I make sure the cameras are ready to go, then walk back to him.
"Fox, keep you head turned toward the camera for me please. Close your eyes if you want but stay turned to the camera so I can have my tape too. I love you, Fox. This is so hot, thanks for the idea."
Leaning down I kiss his cheek and he smiles at me. I walk back and start the camera that will film my lover as I take him. Then I move over and start the one that will film me for him. I move back to him and start undressing. I had decided on a script of sorts before falling asleep last night. I had planned to keep the tape locked up here. I'm older than him and realistic enough to know that he will probably outlive me. This tape may one day mean a lot to him. Sounds crass right? But you never know what may be important when someone is gone.
"Boy, I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll scream."
I moved in close to him rubbing my cock up the crease of his ass and hear a low moan. Without any warning I raise my hand and bring it down hard on his left cheek. He jerks but barely makes any sound. So I repeat the motion on the right side. I rain blows on his ass until finally he starts to beg me to stop. Then I lean down to him and run my tongue over his cheeks in a swirling pattern. My hands move over him squeezing hard making him scream this time.
How can he slap my ass so hard and long and not make his hands hurt. I know how red I'm turning but I manage not to scream until I'm really on fire. My cock, of course thinks this is just wonderful it's rock hard. God, I am such a slut. When he switches to licking I relax into the pleasure of him touching me so intimately. That's why it is such a surprise when he squeezes down that I scream. I hear him chuckle above me.
"Time to fuck you, boy. Gonna fuck you so good and long and deep. Gonna fill you with come. Gonna make you forget anyone else ever touched you."
I feel his fingers as he spreads me and lubes my ass. Then the fingers are gone and he strokes himself along the crease, not entering yet just sliding up and down. When I relax into this soothing movement he surges forward and buries himself inside me and I scream. Not because it hurts but because it's in the script. Page ten didn't you read it?
As always I lose myself in the sensations he is giving me. I can feel his hands holding me open. A part of my mind knows he is doing that so I can *see* what I asked to see. He rides me with a hard and steady pace and I'm whimpering with the need to come. He leans down close to my ear and growls do you want to come? I nod mutely. He bites my shoulder and I explode against the side of the table. I'm riding my own climax and don't feel his this time. He collapses against my back and we pant in unison.
When we can breath again he moves to turn off the cameras and then comes back to release me. He rolls me over on the table and devours my mouth.
"God, that was good. Are you ok my, Foxglove?"
I smile up at my glorious lover. How could I not be ok, I just got fucked by the man I love, the man who loves me. I pull him close and nuzzle his jaw.
"I'm flying lover. Don't ask me to get up yet because I can't."
"Good! I wanted to make it special for us both. You lay here and rest awhile. I'm going to rewind the tapes and set up in the den for later."
He kisses me softly and throws a blanket over me. The next thing I know he's lifting me in his arms.
"Walter, what are you doing?"
"Well I didn't want to wake you but I wanted you upstairs with me. I was going to put you on the sofa and read until you woke up."
Does that trip the ah factor or what?
"Put me down I can walk. You didn't cripple me."
He sets me on my feet and I start up the stairs.
"You did however make my ass sore."
"Inside or out?" He leers at me.
"Right now all I feel is the outside."
His hand rubs gently over me.
"Come on lover I'll kiss it and make it all better."
I follow him up the stairs watching his slow movements worried that I might have really hurt him. I put him in a warm bath while I work on dinner. When he comes out he is moving easier. I smile at him and put his dinner in front of him. We eat in silence but not an uncomfortable one. He helps me clean up and then pulls me close kissing me.
"So, Walter, when's show time?"
"I thought you wanted to ride me while you watched it?"
"But aren't you sore?"
"Outside not inside. I lubed myself I'm fine. Besides if I'm riding I can stop anytime it gets to be too much."
"Starting to trust me?"
"Believe it or not I've trusted you about sex since the first time."
"But I was cruel that night."
"It's what I needed that night. It's what we both needed that night. I'll always need you to be rough and hurt me the way we both like, we just won't ever need anger to be a part of it again. I love you, Walter. I want to watch our movie and have my lover inside me while I do."
The little shit is topping me from the bottom. Well for tonight he deserves too. It won't be happening again. Well, at least not very often. I let him lead me into the den and I sit in the chair I had moved so he can ride my cock and watch me ride his ass. He turns on the TV and VCR and then comes back to straddle me in the chair. I am ready for him and he slides easily down taking my entire length inside him. Turning he starts the tape.
I drop my head back on the chair, close my eyes and let my hearing and touch take over. I feel Fox as he moves on me and I listen to the sounds we made a few hours ago. His hands are digging into my shoulders as he moves up and down on me. His real time moans and whimpers joining the ones coming from the VCR.
"Oh god, Walter, how do you hold back so long? Doesn't watching you cock slide into me like that make you want to explode?"
"Of course it does. I can't let go when I haven't made my lover come yet. I am after all a gentleman."
He makes a strangled sound between a groan and a laugh and picks up his pace. Raising high off me and just dropping back down. I know by the sounds that he has just seen himself come on the tape. His movements on me have become frenzied and I hold his hips to help steady him.
"Let go, Walter. Damn it let go."
I know he's not talking about my hands. I surge up into him and *let go* just as I hear my roar of release from the tape.
He screams my name and his come spurts out on my belly. He leans his forehead against mine. I open my eyes and look at him and he smiles.
"A come shot, Walter? You gave me a come shot."
"All pornos have them don't they, Fox?"
Well he is right about one thing; he is making me forget anyone else ever touched me. The last few days have been quite a revelation. I guess I thought we would do nothing but fuck our brains out but it hasn't worked that way. I'm finding myself falling in love with *who* he is not the dreams I had of him. Granted my dreams were all of the *wet* variety. I couldn't see anything but sex. Never really thought I would get that but I dreamed. My dreams would never have included a relationship. He is making me realize that this is a relationship.
The week flows by too quickly. We spend most of our days hiking and talking or just snuggled and talking. He tells me about his family and even opens up a little about Vietnam. I even manage to purge a few of my demons. He has conditioned my body with his, and now he is taking over my heart and mind. No one ever went more willingly to their captivity.
We have planned to go home Saturday morning so we can do those domestic things. You know shopping, picking up dry cleaning, a trip to the drug store for more lube. You know, the get ready for the week kind of stuff. So I'm not surprised that he goes all out for our dinner Friday night. We have a huge steak with baked potato loaded with real butter and sour cream and of course salad. I've eaten more salad in the last two months than in my entire life before him. I had called the radio station to ask them to play *our* song.
We eat quietly. I think we were both lost in thoughts of going back to the city. I know I will hate being at work without him. When *our* song comes on he pulls me into his arms and we dance with his voice in my ear. Then we make love by the fireplace.
When we got back to town on Saturday I offer to do the errands and let him take care of the laundry. I slip upstairs before I leave to check on something I know is in his dresser.
"I'll try not to be more than three or four hours. I need to go by and see Frohike while I'm out. I have my phone and it's charged. I love you."
I had gone see Frohike after making a stop at the mall. I needed his help. I didn't tell Walter that Frohike had figured out about us. He's always read me better than the others and he knew something was different. I needed someone I could really talk to about my new relationship. I could tell Frohike that I'm a major bottom for Walter and he wouldn't freak out like some people would. So over the past two months I have confided in him and he knows just how far gone I am. He opened the door for me and knew something had changed.
"Can we talk in private?"
"Sure man let's go to my room."
He waits until the door is closed and turns to me.
"Ok, Mulder, what's up. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary. Does this mean you two had a good vacation."
"We had a great vacation. We talked and danced and made love."
Frohike picks up on the *made love* and his eyebrow raises.
"So things are good then."
"Better than good. That's why I'm here. You are closer to his age than I am and I need some music help. While we were there he was humming this song and when I asked what it was he sang it for me. It's called *Then You Can Tell Me Goodbye*."
"Yeah, I know that song."
"I found an oldies station and got them to play it for us and we danced together for the first time to that. Then later we had a uh let's just say I opened my mouth and stuck both feet in it. He called his sister and she told him to do something romantic. So he put my ring back on me and promised to do the things in the song. He ended with *if it don't work out we'll start over*."
"God for a surly bastard he does know how to be romantic, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, he does. I want to find a song for him and it needs to be just as romantic for when I give this to him."
I pulled the ring box out of my pocket and showed him the ring I bought for Walter. I had checked the ring that he keeps in his dresser for the size. I was nervous that he might not want to wear a ring but I wanted to make the gesture anyway.
"That's nice. Do you know if he even wants to wear a ring?"
"No. I'm making this up as I go along. I hope he will. Now can you help me with a song?"
"I know just what you need."
Why do I have the feeling that he is up to something? He hates shopping. Well what ever it is I can be patient. I spend the next few hours doing our laundry and don't even notice that he's been gone for four hours until the phone rings.
"Walter, it's me. I have everything done but the grocery should I bring home take out and we can shop tomorrow?"
"Sure, get Chinese."
"Ok I'll be home soon. I love you."
Just what the hell has he been doing all afternoon?
Continued in Part 10
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