The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Disclaimer in part 1
Part 8: If the pleasures that an age offers are insipid, passionate souls will seek pain.
When the fire is almost out he tells me it's time for bed. He heads to the bathroom and turns on the shower. I grab the enema bag and he looks at me questioningly.
"Just going to get clean."
"I uh thought you might want to..."
"Not tonight. Let's see how you are looking in the morning. Tonight we are just going to scrub each others backs and snuggle. If you're a good boy I'll kiss you goodnight."
"Walter, I'm fine really."
"Fox, are you still feeling insecure? After the things I said today I thought we would be past that. Didn't you hear me say I'm getting old?"
"You aren't old."
"Don't for a minute think I don't want you. I'd like to stick my cock up your ass and never come out but that's not possible. Yeah I would like to fuck you right now. I've become real addicted to having you at least morning and night. But I won't until *I* think you are better. Then I will make you scream it will be so good."
He leers at me and pushes me into the shower clothes and all. He strips and steps in behind me starts helping me peel the wet clothes off. We take our time and bathe each other. When he washes me, my cock jumps to attention. He just smiles and with his hands slick with soap gets me off.
I think that maybe he will change his mind when we get into bed naked but he doesn't. He snuggles close to me and kisses me goodnight. Then goes right to sleep. I followed him into sleep soon after and dreamed of growing old with him.
When I wake he is spooned around me and nuzzling my neck. His cock is lying along the crease of my ass, not in me like I'm used to. I wiggle back against him in encouragement.
"Come on my Foxglove let's go in the bathroom where I can see better."
"You don't need to see, just feel your way."
"I want to see how you are looking. We may not be doing this right now."
I know it's useless to argue with him so I follow him into the bathroom. He closes the lid on the toilet and sits down.
"Do you want to *spread em* or do you want to lay across my knees?"
I opt for the knees, at least that way I don't feel like I being molested by a stranger.
He arranges himself over my lap and I feel his erection against my thigh. One way or another we are both getting relief soon. I may have been tired and slow to arouse yesterday but today it's like steel and I intend to come soon. I run my hands lovingly over him then gently pull his cheeks apart. He's back to his normal color and the swelling is gone. I run my thumb over the small hole and he arches up toward me.
"Well looks like the playground is open. Get the bag."
He jumps up to fill the bag, brings it back and lays down across my knees again. We take care of getting him clean and then as we start back to the bedroom he turns and gives me a shy smile.
"Walter, could I make a request about how we do it this time?"
He looks for all the world like a kid that has had his hopes stomped on too often. My hand moves to caress his jaw and I nod.
"Would you put me on my stomach so I can feel your weight holding me as you take me?"
"Are we playing out a rape fantasy, Fox? I don't remember that when we talked about your likes and dislikes."
"No when we do that you'll need to be dressed in black and I'll need to be wearing something old you can tear or cut off me. Remember last week when you rolled me over on my stomach and held my wrist? It was so hot and I felt so possessed. I like feeling that way with you."
I rub his ass and give him a nudge toward the bedroom.
"Arrange you body however you want but hurry I want to fuck you, lover."
I lie down on my stomach and pull a pillow under my shoulders so I'll be able to breathe. I feel the bed dip as he moves on to it behind me. His hands move over me in that *you belong to me* way he has and my cock gets even harder. He lubes me quickly and is soon inside me. His hands reach to cover my wrists and he allows most of his weight to rest on me. He nips at my neck as he rides me and I slip off into the stratosphere. I'm not so far gone that I don't realize when his hands release my wrists and move under mine to lace out fingers together. New buttons being pushed. Love growing stronger.
He rests for a long time on my body after we come. His hands still holding mine. When he finally moves off me I turn over and he pulls me close.
"Was that what you wanted, Fox?"
"I wish I could see how it looks sometime."
"Fox, what are you talking about?"
"I'd like to see what you see when you are above me and you watch your cock going into me. If I get a digital camera would you make some pictures for me? Then I could look at them when we aren't together and think about what I have to get home to."
"I'll go you one better. You want your own personal *Walter does Fox* video? There are cameras downstairs we can make two tapes one for you so you can feed your porn monster one for me for when you are out of town."
I can't believe he said that. He's lost his mind.
"A video. Walter are you crazy what if someone found them?"
"I can set the cameras at different angles so that your tape will just show me fucking you but not show your face and mine will be just your reactions to having me fuck you. That wouldn't give them anything but the fact that I fucked some guy's ass. Or we could make them and keep them locked up here with my toys and you can watch it whenever we come up here."
He's lost his mind. There is no other explanation. He's gone stark raving bonkers. A tape like that could ruin his career.
"Walter, we can't chance that. I was just talking some close ups so all anyone would be able to tell was that someone got a cock up the ass. Not anything that would show the world you swing both ways. I couldn't live with myself if we did this and someone got it and used it against you."
"I don't swing both ways anymore. I only swing Fox Mulder's way now. Then we'll just keep it locked up here or if you are really that worried we tape it and erase it before we leave. Would that work for you? I'll make you photos if you get a camera when we get home."
Did he just say what I thought he said?
The look on his face is priceless. Finally I get to be the reckless one. He zeros in on the unrelated part of what I just said.
"You only swing my way?"
"I think you brain is oxygen deprived. Yes, Foxglove, I wouldn't ask for you to be exclusive with me unless I intended to be the same with you. Come on let's have breakfast and then I want to expose you to some more fresh air."
I kiss him then push him toward the edge of the bed. I hear him mumble as he wanders to the bathroom.
"Who has any energy to even look at anyone else after you get through fucking their brains out."
I smile and chase him into the bathroom.
"I heard that boy."
"Guess I'll get *punished* for that later huh?"
I pull him close and growl in his ear that he can count on it.
We take a different route today and end up next to a small stream. It's a beautiful warm fall day and we relax for awhile enjoying the sunshine and each other. He sits propped against a boulder and I sit in my favorite position between his legs with his arms around me. This is when he starts to tell me about his family.
"I had a long talk with my sister last week. She knows me better than anyone and I wanted to do the easier one first."
I turn to face him and he sees the question and worry in my face.
"Now don't get worried, Foxglove, they will learn to love you as I do. My mother will have a harder time with me than with you. She accepts gay people but she won't like finding out that her son is living that lifestyle. My sister on the other hand just wants my happiness. She is coming into town next week to meet you."
"What? Are you sure she isn't coming with a gun to avenge her brother's honor?"
"Fox, she is happy for me. She wants to meet you on her own before we come down for Thanksgiving. Since I have to be home another week it's perfect. I can do a little light sightseeing with her and the three of us can have dinners and let her get to know my Foxglove."
"What did she say when you told her?"
"She asked if you were cute. Could you cook. Do you have a nice ass. Do you make me happy."
"What did you tell her?"
"Yes. He can. Better than nice. He makes me happier than I ever thought I would be."
It suddenly occurred to me he said we are going down for Thanksgiving.
"We're going there for Thanksgiving? I don't even know where there is."
"I'm sorry, Fox. Do you have plans with your mother?"
"No that's not it. I uh are you *that* sure you want them to know me? I mean if it doesn't work out it might be easier if they didn't meet me."
He goes stiff under me and I know I have put my foot in my mouth again. I hear him sigh and he pushes me away from him.
"We better get back before the sun goes down."
"Walter, please don't! I don't know why I keep saying things like that. I guess it's all the people that should have been there and weren't. The ones that said they loved me then left me when the beatings stopped being fun for them or they found someone else. I don't deserve you and I feel like it's just a matter of time before you figure that out."
I'm crying by this point. God I hate being this needy and crying on top of that. He looks at me with those chocolate eyes and I duck my head. His hand pulls me up to look him in the eye, not letting me escape.
"Take your ring off."
My hand closes into a fist and I wrap it with the other hand. I pull away from him shaking my head.
"No, Walter, please."
His hands reach for me and he pulls me so that we are almost nose to nose.
"Take it off now!"
I look in his eyes and know if I don't do it he will do it for me. My hands are shaking so hard I can barely get it off. I hold it out to him and he shakes his head no.
"What does it say in your ring, Fox? Read it to me."
I don't need to read it I know.
"Trust Believe Forever."
"Do you know what I put in Sharon's ring? Our wedding date and our initials. How fucking romantic was that? I paid three times as much for your ring as I did for hers. Even if you allow for inflation that's still saying something. Let's get back."
He takes the ring from my hand then and tucks it in his pocket and walks away from me. I feel like I am on a forced march back to the cabin. When we get there he tells me to go shower and he'll take care of dinner.
What is it going to take to get through to him? I stomp back to the cabin and don't even look back to see if he is behind me. When we get there I send him to shower and pick up my cell phone to call my sister. I talk to her about what happened and she soothes me as always. I don't hear him come out into the room behind me.
"I know that but. Yeah you're right I do. Ok I'll do that. What time? Ok I'll make sure he is there. I love you. Bye."
When I see him standing in the doorway he mumbles sorry. I can see how red his eyes are and know I don't want to make a video of him tonight.
"My sister just informed me that she will kick both our butts if we aren't there to pick her up when her plane lands. She can do it too. She also told me I handled things in my usual ham handed fashion with you today. Come here."
He moves toward me slowly like he expects to be slugged. I pull him into my lap and kiss him deep and wet and as loving as I can make it. Then I push him gently off my lap and kneel facing him on the floor.
"Fox Mulder, I promise to kiss you each morning for a million years and hold you each evening at my side I'll sweeten your coffee with my morning kisses and soften your dreams with my sighs and I'll tell you I love for a million years *Then* if it don't work out, we'll start over."
His eyes had gotten bigger and bigger as I say these things to him. When I hold out his ring to him he raises a shaking hand to me. I slip in on his finger and he is in my arms raining kisses all over me and knocking my glasses half off. Dinner is forgotten as we couple on the floor like it's the first time again and we can't wait to explore each other.
Afterward we lay in a tangle together still touching caressing unwilling to let go. He does pull back enough to look in my eyes and ask a question.
"What did your sister tell you to do?"
"She said I'd better do something romantic quick that would show you I love you because if I blow this one she's going to give up on me."
"I think I love your sister. Hey shouldn't I know her name?"
"It's Wanda Sabrina. Our parents wanted us to have the same initials. She hates Wanda goes by Sabrina. She'll be here the Monday you go back to work so you will need to leave work a little early. Just tell everyone that you have to pick up your sister in law at the airport."
"Sister in law, does she see it that way?"
I grab my cell phone and hit the redial button. When she answers I tell her that her brother in law needs to talk to her and hand him the phone. He takes the phone like it's a snake.
"Hello, Sabrina. Yes he did. Thank you for, well everything. For accepting this whole thing and for the advice you gave him. Yes very romantic. Yes I love him too. Ok I'll be at the airport with him to pick you up. Yeah hold on."
He hands the phone back to me to tell her goodbye.
"So, Sergei you finally did something right?"
Continued in Part 9
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