The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Disclaimer in part 1
Part 5: And painful pleasure turns to pleasing pain
I'm nervous about talking to him about this. I don't want to say anything that will cause him to turn away from me. What will he find to be repugnant or acceptable? He reads my hesitation for what it is.
"Fox, I want the truth. Don't be afraid that I will make judgements on your past. It is the past. I am your future. I want to find out where our interests overlap. What really turns you on or off."
"Would it turning me off stop you if it was something you liked to do?"
He stares at me for a long moment and I can feel the blush moving up my face. He shakes his head.
"Do you think so little of me? That I would completely disregard your feelings?"
"God no. I'm sorry. That was my insecurities talking again. It's hard for me to talk to you about this. I told you that first night that I never cared about pleasing my other partners in the games. I want to please you. I want to make you happy."
"You have been pleasing me quite well so far. It will make me happy for you to tell me the truth. For you to trust me with *all* of you."
I look into his eyes and see acceptance like I've never seen before. Then I begin to talk. At no point do I see disgust in his eyes and I tell him all the dirt. Even the games I played that I think are sick. I tell him about the 'daddy' games about picking up guys in bars when I was in college. I tell him just what a pain slut I can be. I tell him the things I've done that I never want to do again. He listens to it all and asks just one question.
"Have you ever been fisted? You didn't list that."
I swallow compulsively and shake my head.
"Don't worry we'll take it nice and slow. I want you to enjoy it too. It will give me the one thing you never gave anyone else. Your last cherry."
With these words I know I will submit with no hesitation. I tell him there is one other thing I never gave the men in my past.
"What's that, Fox?"
He pulls me close and kisses me. Tells me he tired let's take a nap.
fall asleep feeling loved.
I wake up and Fox is gone but I smell heavenly odors coming from the direction of the kitchen. I get up and follow my nose to find him busy making dinner.
"Walter what are you doing up? You know Scully wants you to have complete bed rest for at least the next three days."
He moves quickly to my side and insists I sit. I wrap my arms around him and nuzzle his stomach through the tee shirt he is wearing. I missed him. It's entirely too addicting having him at hand all the time. That's another reason he needs to go back to work. I hold on for a minute and he kisses my bare head.
I push him toward the stove and growl, "Don't let my dinner burn. I'm not sure if Scully would qualify what we do as bed rest."
He smiles that beautiful smile at me and bends over to check the oven. Coming back to me he says it'll be about a half-hour before it's ready. Let's get you back to bed. I give him my best leer and he moans that he will turn off the oven. I can feel his breathing speed up and without touching him know he is hard already.
Five weeks later I'm on vacation again and we head out to the country to the cabin he has told me about. He had gone out on his own the day before to shop. When I asked what for he said that he wanted new toys for us. I try to tease him into telling me what he brought but he just smiles. I let it drop because it doesn't matter. Whatever he bought I know I will except.
We arrived at the cabin and Walter tells me to leave the bags for later. I follow him through the door. Again that door thing, I am slammed against it and his mouth is on mine. He is rough, biting until he draws blood. I feel his hands tearing at my pants and they are pushed down. Turning me he presses me against the door.
"Remember I promised you a time and place where you could scream? I want to *hear* you. I plan on you screaming a lot this next week."
His voice is hard like the first time he took me and I know what is coming. I try to relax, waiting for him to take me. I feel the head press against my anus then he rams up into me and I throw back my head and scream. The pain is nothing like the first time. My body knows him now but I guess I didn't use enough lube this morning and this is practically a dry fuck. He pumps into me for a couple of minutes making me whimper, as much from his cock as the fact that my cock is trapped painfully between the door and my body.
He decides that he needs another angle so he walks us over to a chair without pulling out of me. He bends me over the chair and grabbing my cheeks pulls them wide open and begins to pound into me. This adds a new pain to the others in my body. I know I'm making noise but I'm not sure what kind. This seems to go on for a long time. I've become a giant nerve ending. There is pain, in my ass running up my spine. Through it all I can feel my cock throbbing in a matching rhythm to his thrusts into me. I want it to stop and I never want it to stop.
I hear my voice begging him to let me come. He lets go of my cheeks and his hand slaps my ass hard.
"I didn't give you permission to speak, boy."
The pounding continues and my cock feels like it will explode. I don't even want to think about what the punishment will be for that. Just when I think I can't stand it any longer his hand grabs my hair and he pulls me upright.
"I'm going to fill you ass with my come, boy. You will thank me for giving you this gift. If you thank me properly I'll let you come."
I'm frantic not sure how he wants me to say it. We didn't talk about what I was to call him this week. Think, damn it. He's calling you boy. Does that make him 'daddy' or 'master'? I've played it both ways.
"Well, boy, I won't wait much longer."
God that voice like liquid fire running through me. I can't think.
"Thank you, master."
"Very good, boy."
I feel him throbbing inside me and sob with relief that I made the right decision. His hands grow gentle and one slips down my stomach to stroke me.
"You may come now, boy."
I start to spurt and he strokes me gently until the last drop is milked from me. I'm hanging limp in his arms and he kisses me, a lovers kiss. Then he lifts me up still inside me and carries me around to sit in the chair he just had me bent over. Sitting with his cock still inside me he rocks me like a child until our breathing returns to normal. God this is going to be some vacation.
I sit holding him, still buried inside him. His pants are a tangle around his knees. My are open that's all. We must make a pretty picture. I nip at his throat and tell him we should bring in the stuff from the car. I hold his hips to steady him as he pulls up and off my cock. He moans that moan I have come to associate with his reluctance to have that part of me removed from him.
The car is unloaded and things quickly put away then I tell him to shower and come down stairs showing him the way to the basement. I go down to make preparations for our evening. I've used this place often and have my own locked closet downstairs. I open it and check over the items I know I will use tonight. Put away the new items I brought. I am replacing anything that might have come in contact with body fluids in the past. I will not take risks with Fox. He is my future as I am his.
He comes down a short time later, naked, as I knew he would be.
He looks at me with a lost expression on his face.
"Walter did you bring any enemas, I forgot."
I smile at him and pick up the new enema bag I bought on my shopping trip the day before. I point to a massage table over near the wall and tell him to go lay down on his left side. I fill the bottle making sure the water is warm and go to sit next to him on the table.
"While we are here I will take care of this part of your cleaning myself. You will just shower and present yourself here after."
I had rubbed some lube on the nozzle before I sat down so I slip it inside him and start the flow. I'm puzzled to see him blushing.
"Fox, am I hurting you?" I'm sure that isn't the problem but want to see what sort of answer he will give me.
"No it doesn't hurt. I just don't think you should have to do this to me. It's messy sometimes and I don't want you to. God I'd be mortified if I had an accident on you."
I check the bag to make sure I don't let any air get in him and close the flow. Turning him over on his back I fondle his cock waiting for the cramps that will signal he's ready for the toilet.
"First I don't *have* to do anything. Second if you have been having accidents than maybe you aren't doing this correctly. Third nothing that happens between us should ever cause you to be mortified. You belong to me. Don't you think that after being stuck cleaning that damn drainage tube they had in me you've earned the right to get a little messy with me. It pleases me to be getting you clean for me."
He moans and I help him up quickly and show him the bathroom. When he comes out of the bathroom I pull him close and kiss him oh so gently. My hands move over him in slow soft caresses until I have him moaning with his head back throat exposed.
"Fox, who do you belong to?"
"Good, boy. Let's set the rules. For the rest of tonight you will speak only when asked a question. You will follow your answers by calling me master. We have all the privacy we need here so I expect you to be vocal in other ways. It would please me very much to hear your pain *and* your pleasure. I shall give you both before the night is over. Do you understand everything I've just told you?"
"Yes, master. Permission to speak Master?"
"Will master be the way I address you for the whole week, master?"
"I think we will be playing other types of games. I expect 'daddy' will show up at some point. I know he has some issues to discuss with you. Also I should have specified that the games are limited to this room for the rest of the time we are here. In the rest of the house it is just Fox and his lover Walter. Now you may serve your master by sucking his cock."
He drops to his knees and takes me in his mouth without hesitation. I smile down on him and my fingers slip through his hair.
Well this is turning into a wonderful vacation. He has started out with one of my favorite games and has promised me another. How did I get so lucky? The man I love loves me and is very good at pushing all my buttons.
I feel his hand in my hair as I willing do as he has told me. I enjoy doing this for him. I love the way he tastes. His size makes it difficult but I keep practicing every time he lets me and I know I'm getting better at it. I know he could stay hard until my jaw was sore but he doesn't seem to be inclined that way. His hand tightens in my hair and he growls at me.
"I'm going to come and you better swallow every drop or I'll punish you."
He knows that in the times I have done this to him I've never managed to swallow it all. I know he is moving the game forward. I'm eager for my *punishment*. I caught a glimpse of the array in his closet. He buys top quality toys. That says a lot about his abilities. It says a lot about the care he will take of me.
He grabs my head and thrusts into my mouth and I feel the flow start. I swallow but not fast enough and a small trickle runs down my chin. He pulls out of my mouth and his thumb rubs the slick trail of his come on my chin.
"You are a disobedient boy, now you will be punished."
His big hands reach down pulling me to my feet and I am dragged to the closet. Dragged not because of my reluctance but because for a big man he moves fast. He reached for the fleece lined cuffs and I stand passive as he fastens them around my wrists. Then he picks up a larger set and carefully places them around my ankles. He double checks all four making sure they will not cut into my body but will not slip around either.
He leads me across the room and I am positioned so that my legs are spread and chained to just tolerable limits. I know that if he keeps me here too long my muscles will cramp. My wrists are spread and chained in the same way. I wonder what he will use on me but of course I don't ask. I am his and will be punished in any way he wishes. I had seen the items he laid out earlier, all I have felt before, all we had talked about, I crave all of them.
His hands move over me caressing making me moan. He strokes my cock and tells me I will not come. He steps back from me and I moan again at the loss of contact. I wait for the first blow and I scream when it lands. He could hit me much harder and I could take it in silence but there is no need to be silent here. The screams I emit as the blows continue are as much an affirmation of the place he is sending me as they are of pain.
My cock is so hard I know one word of permission from him and I would explode. The blows stop and I feel his presence at my back. His strong hands move down over me and he spreads my cheeks surging up into me.
"Who do you belong to, boy?"
"What does that mean?"
"You can do what you want with me. Beat me, Fuck me, Love me."
"Love you." A soft whisper in my ear as he begins to move in me. I expect hard but he moves slow and easy. His hands tease my nipples and his lips nuzzle my throat. I drop my head back on his shoulder and sigh as he makes love to me. I'm chained to the wall, I've just had my ass beaten, and now he is driving me insane with this slow gentle lovemaking. I want to scream at him to pound into me to take me rough but I don't dare.
The high from the punishment is still swirling through me as he picks up the pace. The caresses change and become the rough ones I had expected. His cock becomes a weapon and I whimper with the joy of being used by him. He growls in my ear, come boy, and I do screaming with the joy of the release. I feel him pulsing inside me as he fills me with his come.
His hands are gentle as he releases the chains holding me. My legs have cramped, as I knew they would but he knows too and holds on to me. He eases me to the floor and rubs my legs until the cramps are soothed away.
He is mine. It sings through my soul as I ease him down on his side.
rub his legs until the cramps are gone. Then I roll him onto his stomach. I go to the ice bucket and come back with a handful of ice and a towel. He hisses when the ice touches his red skin. The paddle
used brings out a nice color in his skin. He took it well and later I will ask questions to determine how he felt. We are lovers he is not
slave. The games are for *our* pleasure not mine alone.
I spend some time bringing down the heat level in his skin then I lay beside him and pull him up to rest on me. We lay together for awhile with his head resting on my shoulder and my hands moving slowly over his back.
"Are you ok, Fox? I didn't get too rough with you did I?"
He raises up to look at me and smiles that beautiful smile.
"I'm wonderful. You made me fly. I'm one lucky bastard to have a lover that takes me to heaven then lowers me slowly back to earth."
He kisses me then and puts all my senses in overdrive again and I feel my cock harden under him. When he raises his head I know he has felt it. He leers down at me.
"Is that a pickle in you pocket."
"Mae West you aren't."
He smiles again and drops a kiss on me as he moves to get off me and stand. He reaches his hand down and pulls me to my feet.
"So what are we playing next?"
"Fox, I've been up your ass three times today and I was only gentle this morning. Aren't you tired of me yet?"
"I'll never be tired of you. We've got a lot of years to make up for."
I look in his eyes and see that the fear of rejection is still there even after almost two months of being in my bed with me in his body.
tell him I love him but others have said that and left him. I don't know how to convince him that the only way I will leave him is in death. Since I don't know how to rid him of the fear, I take the only course of action I can think of.
Continued in Part 6
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