The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Disclaimer in part 1
Part 4: Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.
I wake up, my throat sore, my mouth dry. I don't know where I am but quickly realize that I must be in a hospital. The last thing I remember is getting up to go to the bathroom. I turn my head and see Fox asleep in a chair by my bed. His feet are propped on the end of the bed next to mine. I try to speak but my throat is too dry so nothing comes out. I settle for nudging his foot. He doesn't wake so I push a little harder. His eyes fly open and he is on his feet next to me in a flash. He looks like shit so that answers one of my questions. I must have been here awhile.
I nod and he reaches for the water, holding the cup out for me to drink. Once my throat is lubricated I feel better. He sits the water down and his hand caresses my face.
"You scared me so much. I thought you were dead when I found you on the bathroom floor. I felt like such an ass for pouting at you. I love you. You had a tumor but its been removed and it was benign. Your hearing may have been affected, they aren't sure yet. Scully and Kim took care of me. I'm so glad you are awake."
This was all spit out in almost one breath. I picked up on just the most important points. Tumor gone, hearing maybe gone, tumor benign, he loves me. I reached up the hand that wasn't attached to equipment and pulled him down beside me. Wrapping my arm around him I whispered, "I love you too." Then I was out again.
He loves me. He said it. I lay snuggled next to his side knowing if anyone comes in the shit is gonna fly, but I don't care. He's alive and he loves me. After awhile I try to slip out of bed but his grip is too strong. So I close my eyes and slip back into sleep.
I wake up to a nurse poking me and asking how I expect the patient to rest when I'm taking up half his bed. Walter opens his eyes, gives her one of his best *I eat agents for breakfast* looks and tells her to mind her own business. Then he tells her he wants Dr Scully, he wants to be released.
The nurse stomps out of the room and I try to convince him he needs to stay in the hospital.
"No, Fox, I need to go home. You can look after me there. I'll call Kim and have her arrange vacation for you."
"Walter, this is crazy. You could have died. Scully said you would have if I hadn't been there to find you. You were in shock and laying on that floor all weekend would have killed you."
"All the more reason for you to take me home and take care of me. Besides from the looks of your beard I've missed at least two wakeups and a whole weekend of having you cuffed to my bed. I'm going home so you just need to get Scully to help you get me there."
I'm looking at him with my mouth hanging open. The man almost died and he is talking about the sex we didn't have because of it. I suddenly feel ashamed. Those thoughts are probably because I pouted at him.
"Walter, please don't take chances with your health because I'm an ass and acted like sex was all I wanted from you. I'm so sorry I acted like that. That was my insecurity talking. I've been in love with you for a long time but never thought you could love me. Then when we had sex it was beyond my fantasies and you are very attentive. I was thinking that was all you wanted me there for, a warm piece of ass in your bed. So in my mind you not wanting to fuck me meant that you were getting tired of me."
He looked at me for so long I felt like a bug under a microscope. When he speaks I'm stunned.
"You belong to me, Fox. I told you that the rest of your life was mine. Maybe you think I was joking, or playing some kind of game. I enjoy sex games but our relationship is not a game. I own you and I will fuck you when and where and how I wish. Make no mistakes this isn't about your pouting. This is about my territory, my possession of you."
He looks at me like a whipped puppy. Why did I say that to him? You know why. Just because he says he loves you doesn't mean he won't find someone else if you can't give him what he needs. I reinforce my position by asking who he belongs to. He answers without hesitation but I see the brightness in his eyes. I pull him to me and barely hear him whisper, I thought you loved me. Those pitiful soft words undo me.
"I do love you, Fox, that just makes you even more mine."
He raises tear filled eyes to me and sees that I'm not looking away. He seems to finally understand how things are with us. I will love him but I will control our relationship, every aspect.
"We are going home. I need to have you to myself. You can't be yelling your pleasure in a hospital room."
I grab his hand and pull it down so he can feel my cock. It's rock hard and weeping slightly with pre come. I watch as his eyes grow huge and the sunshine smile breaks out on his face.
" I want to fuck you. So if you don't want to get caught with my cock up your ass in this hospital room go find Scully or somebody to sign me out and take me home."
I reach down and swat his ass then push him off the bed. He heads toward the door rubbing his ass. He is back with a doctor in a few minutes that tries to convince me that I need to stay in the hospital. I give him the same look I gave the nurse earlier and reach over and start pulling off the leads from the machines by my bed. When I reach for the IV he yells that he'll sign me out if I arrange for a nurse to come by daily to check on me. I agree and let him remove the IV.
Within a few hours we are home and shortly after that Fox is riding my cock. Letting him ride me is my only concession to him that day.
I still can't believe that he made me bring him home. Or that he really wanted to fuck me. I couldn't take the chance that he would actually carry out his threat and fuck me in his hospital bed. I don't think he would be that blatant about us but I'm not sure.
I did manage to get him to let me ride him so I could do the work. I hope he will let me do that again some time. It was incredible to watch his face as I moved over him. Sex would be the last thing on most men's minds this soon after surgery. He must be made of iron.
The next day as the nurse is leaving Scully arrives to check on Walter herself. I head back up the stairs with the juice he had asked for and Scully behind me. When I move around the bed to hand it to him I feel Scully looking at me. When I look at her she is looking pointedly at my neck.
"Mulder, he is supposed to be resting."
This brings up a blush because I know she spotted my latest mark. I have been trying to get him to rest but I can't say no to him when he looks at me with that *I'm gonna do you* look of his. What am I saying I can't say no to him at all. If I could I wouldn't have been fucked three times since we came home from the hospital yesterday.
"Agent Scully, I appreciate your concern for my health but you need not worry. I am not overdoing. If anything being with Fox will speed up my recovery."
"Sir, you just had major surgery, I'm concerned that Mulder doesn't understand how physical activity should be limited during your recovery."
"Scully." Yeah it came out as a pleading moan, please don't go there.
"Agent Scully, you seem to be laboring under a mistaken impression. Fox is doing nothing to instigate 'physical activity' as you call it other than just existing. I do not intend to discuss our physical relationship with you, all you need to know is I make those decisions. If I did not want to practice 'physical activity' then we wouldn't. Do not worry that I will overdo, I know my limits. Fox has done nothing to be chastised for. He has made every effort to see to my comfort and well being."
I see that look on her face and know she is going to say something that will escalate the situation so I move in first.
"Scully, the nurse thought he was doing fine. She said his blood pressure was good, no fever, the drainage is minimal. I've been cleaning the tube liked they showed me at the hospital."
Thank god this gets her back to the reason she came by. She moves to the bed and checks his pulse does everything the nurse did again. He makes no complaint just sits quietly while she does these things.
"Well I have to admit that everything is looking good. I was really afraid of infection but there is no sign of any. The swelling is certainly going down faster than I expected."
Walter looks at her deadpan, "Maybe it's all the 'physical activity'."
Scully and I both stare at him for a minute in shock. Scully because she didn't know he had a sense of humor, me because he is bringing up our sex life again. Then Scully starts to laugh and I take my first relaxed breath since she saw the hickey.
"I guess I should be going. I'll come by to check on you tomorrow."
I walk down to see Scully out and she turns to me at the door with another lecture.
"Mulder, he needs to be resting. I know he thinks he knows what is best but he still has to recover from this. Surgery is always a shock to the body and healing takes time."
"Scully, I know that but he... Damn it Scully you don't seem to get it. He is the top and I am the bottom. I do as I am told. I don't want to delay his recovery but I don't have the option of saying no."
She looks at me like I have suddenly grown another head and I groan.
"Mulder, if you were a woman I would say that you had set the movement back a hundred years. You make it sound like you are a slave or something."
"Scully, I would be if that's what it took to be with him. He hasn't asked for slavery, just control. I know that may not sound like two different things but it is. I love him, Scully. If he had died I would have too. Maybe not literally but inside I would be dead. I need you to try and understand because you are important to me too."
"Mulder, I will tell you this, I hope to someday find someone that looks at me the way he looks at you. I guess some part of me can understand. But try to get him to take it easy and rest."
"I will. I promise."
Fox comes back into the room and I can tell by his slight smile that things went ok with Scully. For his sake I went easy with my comments to her. I really wanted to tell her it was none of her business how often I want to fuck him, he *is* mine.
"Fox, you are overdressed."
He smiles at me, strips down and crawls up the bed to me. I pull him down and nip at his throat.
"I think you should go back to work on Monday. I'll be fine during the day and then in a few weeks before I have to go back to work you can take off a week and we'll get my friend's cabin and play games for a week."
"You don't want me here?"
"It's not a question of not wanting you. It's a question of wanting you to save your vacation for when we can have fun together. I'd like to take you to places I love and show them to you. I want to take you camping and fuck you silly in a sleeping bag. I want to frolic naked with you in a mountain stream. I want to take you to meet my family. So don't start thinking I'm trying to get rid of you."
I pull him close and kiss him breathless. We spend several long minutes just making out like teenagers. Then I pull back and push him slightly away.
"Now tell be what games you've played. The ones you liked and the ones you didn't. Then I want to know about the ones you would like to play but never trusted anyone enough to try them with."
Continued in Part 5
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