The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Disclaimer in part 1
Part 3: A pleasure so exquisite as almost to amount to pain
I hear Walter's laugh and turn to see him with Kim across the room. He smiles when he sees me and I get that warn feeling in the pit of my stomach. I realize Scully is speaking to me and I turn back toward her.
"So does this mean the rumors about Skinner and Kim are true? They seem very friendly."
"That he's having an affair with her."
I look at Scully for a moment surprised that she listens to rumors and wonder just how she is going to take my news.
"No, Scully, he isn't having an affair with Kim. I can tell you that with absolute certainty. She isn't his type."
"Oh really, Mulder. Who is?"
I decide to plunge right in and get it over with.
I knew when he told her. I was turned toward them and saw her mouth drop open. I watched her head swivel toward me. I met her eyes and watch her try to process the information she had just received. She turned back to Mulder and they began to talk. Kim giggles again.
"I think she knows."
"Well at least she isn't headed this way with gun drawn to shoot me."
I watch Scully turn to look at my lover. See Walter calmly meet her eyes. No sign of hesitation in his. Then Scully turns back to me.
"So, Mulder, how long has this been going on?"
"How long have I been in love with him or how long have I known he wanted me too or how long have we been having sex."
Scully groans slightly and gives me that *I'm gonna hurt you* look.
"All of them." She hisses at me.
"Well I've been in love with him for years but didn't think he was interested. As for the other two, since Friday night."
I wait for her to respond. She seems to be thinking it over.
"I didn't peg Skinner as the hickey type. I think you should have stopped him from marking you where it would show."
Do I tell her the nature of our relationship or will that cause her to run for the hills. I decide that at least a partial truth is needed. After all I will be wearing a ring soon and people are bound to ask her about it.
"Scully, I'm the bottom in this relationship. I don't give orders, I take them. He won't be doing it again. He promised. All I have to do is show the world that I am taken and he won't put marks where they show."
"What does that mean and since when do you take orders?"
"Since Friday night. He's buying me a wedding ring to wear."
Out of the corner of my eye I see Walter and Kim getting up to leave. Kim veers toward our table and stops by my chair. Leaning down she whispers in my ear to take good care of him or I'll have to answer to her. I smile at her and say I will, I'm afraid of red headed women. Walter smiles and waves then he is out the door.
When I turn back to Scully she is watching me closely.
"You're going to have to learn to control how you look at him. Wipe your chin."
Well it's ten and he isn't home yet. I've tried his cell phone and it isn't working. I hope he is ok. I'm not worried that he won't come home to me. That fear is long gone. I afraid he is hurt or been taken. I hear his key in the lock and meet him at the door. Once he is inside I slam him against it and growl at him.
What it is with this man and doors. I know it's late but he never said he expected to know where I was 24/7. He growls low in his throat and when I look in his eyes I know I'm in deep shit. He asks where I've been. I tell him, I have no reason to lie to him. I was with the Lone Gunmen, listening to the latest conspiracy. He listens and then backing up from me he tells me to go get clean and ready for him. I hurry to do as he tells me. I know he is angry but he was worried too.
When I come out of the bathroom he is waiting for me. The bed has been turned down. The pillows are piled in the center of the bed. I see the leather cuffs hanging from each side of the bed. His belt is lying across the foot of the bed. Yeah I'm in deep shit all right.
He points to the bed and I move to lie down, my ass up in the air. I move my hands up toward the cuffs and he fastened them around my wrists. He asks if I want to be gagged. No I answer. Good boy he replies and I find I don't mind him calling me boy.
I turn my head and watch as he tucks the buckle into his palm. I close my eyes and wait. The first blow lands and I moan into the bed.
"Why are you being punished?"
"Because I was late."
Another stroke. Why else he asks. I made you worry I say. Another stroke. Your cell phone was dead he tells me. Another stroke. Your first order of business at night will be to put it on the charger he tells me. Another stroke this one harder. Who do you belong to he asks. You I say. Again the belt lays down fire on my ass and he asks what does that mean.
"You can do what you like with me. Beat me, fuck me."
His head is near my ear and he kisses my cheek.
"Love you. Whenever you are asked that question you will end with love you. Do you understand?"
The belt is placed on the dresser and he goes into the bathroom. Coming back he bathes my burning backside with a cold washcloth. He makes a couple of additional trips before he seems to think that he has cooled me down enough. Then he sits next to me and I watch as he takes the lube and warms it on his fingers before he slips them into me.
That is all it takes for me to get hard. I wonder if he will take the cuffs off but don't ask. I hope he leaves them. He knows I've played games but we haven't talked about what kind. If he weren't so angry with me this would have me flying. I've lived single too long. I've forgotten how a lover can worry about you.
He moves on to the bed behind me and I feel him pressing into me. He rams deep inside me like the first time but I don't scream. My body is used to opening for him now and it hurts only a little. As he thrusts into to me he tells me how worried he was that someone had taken me or hurt me. He tells me he even called Scully to ask if she knew where I was. I wonder if I should try and talk to him or just wait for him to get it all out. I decide to wait.
His hands move up along my arms and he releases the cuffs from the bed but leaves them on my wrists. He lifts us both up into a kneeling position and his hands begin to move over me. His thrusts are deep and timed to match his hand on my cock. His other arm holds me clutched to his chest.
"Don't ever do that to me again, Fox. You have no idea how scared I was. Come for me lover."
As always I obey. I feel his teeth nip gently at my shoulder and the pulsing as he comes inside me. He maneuvers us so that we are lying side by side and rains kisses over my face and neck.
I hold him close as he sleeps. God protect him for me. I know I don't deserve him but I love him so keep him safe please. I didn't even give him his ring. Kim helped me shop for it. We didn't get back to the JEH until almost four. Guess the gossips really have something to talk about now. Kim is right about one thing, if they think I'm doing her they won't look at us too closely. Finally I drift off to sleep.
I wake him in the usual way the next morning and he smiles at me like the night before didn't happen until I forget and squeeze his ass. He gasps and tells me again that he is sorry he worried me. I kiss him, tell him that all is forgiven just don't do it again. Then I go to the dresser and come back with his ring. I see his eyes go wide.
"When did you go shopping?"
"Right after lunch yesterday. Kim went with me to help pick it out."
I take the ring out and hold it out to him.
"Read the inscription."
"You got it inscribed?"
"Of course, I wanted to do this right."
I watch his eyes as he reads the simple line inside. He smiles that radiant smile again and holds it out to me.
"Put it on me please."
The ring is beautiful. Heavy platinum, obviously expensive. I feel tears threatening when I read the inscription. You would have thought that the surly AD would be so romantic.
I hold out my hand and he slips the ring on my finger then kisses it gently. Then he pushes me back down on the bed and makes us both late to work. Kim covered for him. She cancelled his first appointment of the day with the flat tire excuse. Scully just shook her head at me but smiled at my happiness when I showed her my ring.
The week settles into a routine and I find that even though I'm loosing sleep that the sex is so fantastic it seems to be giving me energy. Come to think of it my sleep is probably more restful than before. I haven't had a nightmare since I started sleeping with Walter.
Friday night Walter comes home to find me waiting naked and scrubbed for him. It's the weekend and our one-week anniversary. Yeah I'm being silly. I take one look at his face and see he isn't feeling well. I ask what's wrong and he tells me that his head is hurting. Can't seem to get rid of this one. I lead him up to our room and help him undress. Getting him on the bed I get the massage oil I bought that day and try to massage out all the kinks. I work on his shoulders and neck thinking this will help.
When he seems relaxed I lean down and kiss him. He barely returns my kiss and like a pouty child I whine that the honeymoon is over.
"Fox, just let me sleep. I'm sure it will be gone in the morning and I promise you I'll cuff you to the bed and fuck you through the mattress tomorrow."
He pulls me down beside him and soon he is snoring lightly. I lay awake for awhile but soon the lack of sleep catches up to me and I'm out too.
I wake Saturday morning to sunlight streaming in the window. I'm alone in the bed and know instantly that something is wrong. Walter and I have been together for a week now and every morning he has been inside me when I woke up. I call his name thinking he is in the bathroom but get no answer. I fall trying to get loose from the blankets that are wrapped around me like a boa constrictor. I stumble to the bathroom door and that is when I see him lying on the floor.
I call his name as I rush to him and kneel next to him. His body is cold and I panic. Searching for a pulse I find that he is alive. Running back to the bedroom I grab the blanket I was just fighting with and my cell phone. I wrap the blanket around him and hit the speed dial for Scully. While it rings I try to get myself under control.
"Mulder, what do you want? Its Saturday aren't you and Skinner on your honeymoon."
"Scully, you have to get over here. I woke up and found Walter on the bathroom floor. Scully he's cold I have no idea how long he's been laying here. I found a pulse. I've covered him with a blanket but the floor is cold and he's naked. Can I roll him over onto the blanket and put another one over him?"
"Mulder, get a hold of yourself. You need to call the paramedics. Do you hear? They can get there faster than I could. Don't move him. Get dressed and then get under the blanket with him and hold him. Give him your body heat. I'll meet you at the hospital."
"Scully, I'm scared. I've never told him that I love him. He had a headache when he came home last night and I pouted because he didn't want to fuck me. Scully, what if that is the last thing I ever get to say to him?"
By this point Scully knows that I need her voice to get through this.
"Mulder, get dressed. I'm calling the paramedics on my other line and I'll stay on this one with you."
I hear her taking on her other phone as I dress like she tells me. I run to the house phone and tell the doorman that paramedics are on the way. Then I hurry back and slip under the blanket with Walter to try and give him some of my warmth.
Scully keeps up a stream of questions. Partly to keep me from thinking that I may have sent the only love of my life to his death with pouting instead of understanding and love. They are also designed to get information she will need at the hospital. She has put me on speaker so she can get dressed. Then tells me to hang up and she'll call me back on her cell.
By the time she calls back the paramedics are there so she has me relaying info from them to her. When they are ready to transport she has me put one of the paramedics on the phone. I'm not sure what she says to him but it gets me in the van with them.
She is standing outside when we get there and squeezes my arm. The one touch signaling support, reassurance, and her love for me. When they try to push me out of the examining room she steps in again. Telling them that I am his next of kin and have the right to be there. The nurse she says this to has been in exam rooms with all three of us in the past and I can see the un hun look but she lets it ride.
In no time at all blood work is being done and they are taking him up for a MRI.
"Mulder, it looks like he could have had a stroke. We'll know soon and can take it from there."
She sees the terror in my eyes and pulls me over to a quiet corner.
"Get a grip. If it is a stroke he could have a complete recovery. He isn't that old and he is in great physical shape. He could come out of this on his own. You need to be strong, so you can give him support. Now let's go get you some coffee while we wait for him to come back."
Kim shows up while we are waiting for the results of the tests. I had called her because she is a part of our family and I knew she would need to take care of things at the office on Monday. She has a briefcase and proceeds to inform me that as of yesterday I am Walter's heir and have a power of attorney concerning just this very type of situation. I look at her in shock and can see that Dana is as surprised as I am.
"But, Kim, that's crazy. We've only been together for a week. Why would he do that?"
"Mulder you may have only been lovers for a week but he's been in love with you a long time. Walter isn't a man to let important details slide. Under the circumstances its probably a good thing he did this don't you think?"
Before I can answer a nurse comes into the room looking for Scully and Scully goes to check the test results. I pace while I wait for Scully to come back. Kim tries to get me to sit but I can't. Would you be able to if you had finally found someone you wanted to spend you life with and it looked like you might loose him?
Scully comes back and I can tell by her face that it's serious.
"Mulder, I'm going to need you to sign surgery release forms. The scan shows that he has a tumor."
My legs buckle and two tiny red headed women get me to a chair.
"Mulder, listen to me. It's operable. It looks benign. It's located where we should be able to get it all and he will probably only loose his hearing on that side. I have the best surgeon in DC on his way here. He has been working with lasers and he may even be able to save Skinner's hearing. Now I'm going to go get scrubbed so I can observe. You go in and stay with him until they come to get him. Kim, will you stay with Mulder during the surgery?"
Kim nods and as get up to go to him Scully pulls me around to look at her.
"Mulder, sometimes they can hear what is going on around them. Talk to him. Tell him you love him and that you want him to fight to stay with you. Love is a powerful reason to live."
I pull her close and mumble my thanks for being here for us. Then I almost run to the room where my lover is waiting to be taken to surgery. I stand next to his bed holding his hand. Reaching out I run my hand over his unshaven cheek. The leaning down close to his ear I tell him all that is in my heart.
"Walter Sergei Skinner are you trying to pay me back for the other night? Cause if you are this hurts a hell of a lot more that you could ever hurt me with your belt. Don't leave me, Walter, please. I love you and I think you like me a little. After all you gave me a ring so I must mean something to you. If you meant what you put inside it you won't leave me alone. I need you more than I know how to say."
The tears are choking off my voice by this point. I hope he can hear me. Why didn't I tell him before? He's got to make it through this. I vow if he stays with me I'll tell him I love him everyday for the rest of our lives.
When they come to take him to surgery I turn my back so they won't see my tears. Somehow I find my way back to the waiting room and Kim is waiting for me there. She takes one look at me and announces that we are going to get food. She won't take no for an answer and manages to get me to eat. I told you I'm afraid of red headed women.
We go back to the waiting room and I pace and fidget and pace some more. This is turning out to be the longest day of my life.
Hours pass and finally I see Scully coming down the hall. When she sees me she smiles tiredly. My heart lifts. He must be alive.
"Mulder, we got the tumor. Dr Stone thinks he may have saved his hearing. It looks benign, we'll know for sure in a few hours. It'll be awhile before they bring him down. Let's go get something to eat while we wait, I'm starving.
"When will he be awake?"
"I'm not sure that depends on a lot of things. The surgery went really well so I think he may be awake some time tonight. I know I don't have a hope in hell of getting you to go home and come back in the morning do I?"
"That's what I thought. You will eat?"
"I could eat a horse now."
Continued in Part 4
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