The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Disclaimer in part 1
PART 2: Sweet is Pleasure After Pain
I kneel there like a supplicant at the altar. He must have taken a shower before he came downstairs because I can smell the soap from his bathroom. I take him in my mouth and he hardens quickly. Hissing like a cat he pushes me away.
He commands and I rush to obey. Stripping off my shirt as I go. By the time he follows me into the bedroom I'm naked and leaking pre come. He smiles as he looks at me and points to his bed. I move quickly to assume the position pulling a pillow to me.
Turn over his voice commands and I obey puzzled. He stands looking down at me for a long moment then he sits on the edge of the bed. His hands move down over my body and leave a trail of fire behind. My eyes widen as he leans down to kiss me. This time it's soft and he explores my mouth. I moan into his mouth and feel his hand close over my cock gently stroking me.
He straightened and looks toward the wall. "Why did you come back? You had the perfect out. It's not like I could really do anything. You could put me in jail or get the me fired."
His hand was still moving softly on me as he spoke and he didn't look at me.
"I belong to you now." Just that simple truth. I came back because I'm his now. And because I love him but I'm afraid to tell him that.
He turns and looks at me his eyes telling me nothing. He looks down my body now turning all the many shades of bruises. His hand reached to touch the darkest one that circles my nipple. His fingers are light but I still flinch, it's very sore.
"I hurt you."
"No more than I've been hurt when I went looking for games. You also made me come harder than I ever have before."
"You still want me?"
The question that I could answer in dozens of ways. How about forever, right now, anytime, anywhere, of course, now. I settled for yes.
"Then I think there are some things you should know. I can go three sometimes four times in a night. I can keep it up for a long time. You'll be drag assing into work with no sleep and a sore ass some mornings and have a hard time sitting down. I Never Never bottom. I like to bite. I like my lover marked. There are times when I'll be rough just because that's what gets me off the best. But I do promise it'll never be like Friday again. I don't want to be cruel. You will have no other lovers. This will be an exclusive relationship. Now I'm giving you one last chance to leave. If you don't go now you never will. I will own you."
His eyes and mine were locked as he delivered this speech. I'm not sure if he really expected me to get up and run or not. Like that was going to happen, yeah right. He had just laid out every fantasy I've ever had about being with him and he thinks I'd give that up.
I sit up and ask permission to kiss him, he grants it. I try to put all my love into that kiss. His hands circle me and crush me to his chest. When I let him breath again he pushes me down and lays down beside me. His hands are everywhere and I'm burning where he touches me. I'm dimly aware of him grabbing something from the bedside table and them feel his fingers probing me gently. He is lubing me and even though I'm still sore I want him inside me. When he turns to wipe his hands on a towel I turn over and get to my knees.
I feel his hands rub over my ass slowly and my cock twitches with anticipation. He makes no move to enter me and I turn my head to look at him over my shoulder. He smiles at me and tells me to turn over, he wants to watch my eyes while he fucks me.
He is beautiful when he smiles. He flashes that smile at me when I tell him I want to watch his eyes while I fuck him. My order is for two reasons. In case there is pain in them. But mostly I want to watch him come. When I jerked him off downstairs the joy I saw there made me proud. Proud that I could do that for him.
I slide my hands under his hips and lift him pushing the pillows up under him to raise his hips for my use of him. I plan on making this last a long time and don't want his legs cramping. He pulls his legs back giving me even better access. I reach over and pick up the lube applying a generous amount to my cock.
His eyes watch my every movement. I feel like he is imprinting the moment on that fabled memory of his. I watch my hand guide me to his opening but once the head enters I focus on his eyes. All I see is desire. I still have trouble believing that he wants me. But it's there in his eyes. He smiles at me as I push forward filling him once more.
When I'm in to the base I pull his legs over my hips and he hooks his ankles together. I bend down to kiss him and he responds eagerly. His arms are wrapped around me so I slip mine under his back and wrap my hands over his shoulders. Then I start to move in him, oh so slowly. At this point I just want to hold him more than anything. Being inside of him feels so good.
My mouth needs to taste him again. No bites this time but he is going to have fun explaining to Scully where the hickeys came from. I make sure that they will show. It will please me to see my marks of possession on him as he sits in the Monday meeting. He arches his neck giving me greater access so I take advantage and lick and suck every inch.
I can feel him moving trying to rub his cock against my stomach. I know he wants to come but I'm not ready for him to do that. He needs to learn to hold it until I give him permission to come. Make no mistake, when I told him I would own him, I meant just that. From this day until the day one of us dies he is mine. That means he will have sex with only me. Any games he plays will be with me. Every time he comes will be because I have allowed him that.
I growl low in his ear to be still. He obeys instantly.
Being under him this way is a new high. I feel encased, safe, loved. I was surprised when he said he wanted to see my eyes. I don't like for my lovers to see my eyes I need to keep a part of me separate. I know that is no longer possible. This man will never let me hide from him.
His mouth is doing incredible things to my neck. God what am I going to tell Scully? I know he is marking me where I won't be able to hide them. I make no protest, even if I thought I wanted to. It just feels too damn good.
I begin to rub against him wanting to come but he has other plans. His growl makes me still. He steps up his ministrations on my throat and starts to move with more force inside me. I'm still sore but that doesn't matter. All that matters is that he is in me and I want to give him all that I am.
My cock is throbbing but the angle he is using on me doesn't bring his in contact with my prostate so that's not getting off for awhile. He told me he could keep a hard on for a long time. Why do I feel like I'm about to find out how long?
As he continues to move in and out of my body I `m amazed at his stamina. I know I couldn't hold a hard this long if I was in someone's tight ass. Yes, I am bragging, it is tight. I do exercises to keep it that way. I try to speed things up by tightening those muscles around him but like the energizer bunny he keeps going and going.
Now don't think I'm complaining because I'm not. I just want to come. Really I'm testing to see if I can get some control. This is so new. I need to know just how thoroughly he intends to control me. Ownership doesn't always mean complete control.
Well with Walter Sergei Skinner it does. He played with me for a long time like that, but I guess the pitiful look on my face finally softened him up. He pushed up over me and began to pound into me. By this time my cock was screaming and I reached down to stroke it. He slapped my hand away. Going still inside me.
"Understand this, Fox, that belongs to me now. You will not touch it except to pee and wash. You will not jerk off. From this day on I will see to it that you come when I want you to. You will only come when I give you permission. If you are out of town on a case and feel like you might want to disobey me you will call me. I will give you release. You will never come again with out hearing my voice."
His voice is steel again the eyes hard. Somehow I know this is one rule I will never break. I don't trust my voice so I just nod.
"Good. Come for me, Fox."
And damn but I do. My hips jerk and my cock explodes. I see him smiling above me and he begins to move in me again. A few hard pumps of his hips, a gentle nip at my nipple and I feel him come inside me. He covers my body again holding me and raining kisses on me and rubbing my come into his belly and mine.
That was my after breakfast fuck. My after lunch fuck had me on my knees again pressed to his chest. Again the bite to my shoulder when he came. My own orgasm coming at the same time. I had been told to come when I felt his teeth on me.
My after dinner fuck was laying with him spooned against me whispering to me that I was so hot, so beautiful, so tight, a litany of words designed to drive me insane. When his hand closed on me and the one word I wanted to hear was spoken I covered his hand with my come. He continued to rock into me for a while longer biting me again when he came.
I lay spooned around him. He is sleeping and I brush his hair back watching him sleep. I think I've worn him out. I guess I'll let him sleep. He'll need the rest for the morning wake up I will give him. He looks so innocent when he is sleeping.
Well, he is truly mine now. I knew that for sure when he came just from me ordering it this morning. I didn't even touch his cock and it was glorious seeing him come for me that way.
I drift off to sleep thinking of him squirming when people notice his marks of ownership. Thinking of waking him with my hands caressing him, my mouth kissing him, and my cock inside him.
I wake the next morning to the feel of Walter's cock slipping inside me and his hand stroking me. I arch back against him and his lips nuzzle my neck. I'm sore I have bruises everywhere and I've never felt so alive. He brings us both off quickly and when I joke about Mr. speed racer he reminds me it's a workday.
"Can't I call in sick? I'm sure my boss will believe me."
"You and your boss have a budget meeting this morning remember? Now get up and in the shower." He swats my ass and pushes me out of the bed.
When I get out of the shower he is standing there with a cup of coffee for me. He brushes a kiss across my lips and gets in the shower. If anyone had told me a week ago that I would be waking up in his arms and getting ready for work like an old married couple today I would have opened an X-File on them. Or else sent for the men in the white coats. I take my coffee and go to lay out my clothes feeling very domestic. When I hear the shower cut off I wander back in. to ask if he wants breakfast.
"No time. I need to get in early, Fox. If you want to ride with me get a move on."
Now I'm a little surprised that he would suggest riding in together but he says we can tell people that my car is in the shop. He tells me that he has cleared the cabinet at the right of the twin sinks for my things so I won't be living out of my shaving kit. Such a small thing but my heart swells with it. To me it means I'm going to be here awhile. I'm not just some lost weekend for him.
We stand side by side and brush our teeth then shave. This is the first time I realize just how high up my neck his marks go. There are at least three that are going to show above my collar. He sees me looking at them and laughs not the lease bit sorry that he has marked me.
"What am I going to tell Scully?"
"I think she will probably recognize them for what they are, Fox. Chances are she won't ask. If she does I think you should tell her you are in a committed relationship now. She is probably going to see them frequently. I told you I like to mark my lover. If you want me to put them where they won't show then you have to be willing to make clear to the world that you are `taken'. I'm a possessive bastard, Fox. I don't share."
If we live a hundred years I'll never get tired of hearing him say things like that. Have you ever noticed how many thoughts can flow through your mind then break down into just one or two important issues?
"Would you like me to wear a wedding ring?"
I don't look at him as I say this. I guess I think he will laugh at me. It's silly but suddenly I want that symbol of our relationship.
"If you are worried about telling Scully about the love bites what are you going to tell her when you can't introduce her to a wife or invite her to a wedding?"
"I'll have to tell Scully about us sooner or later. This is too important to hide from her. She knows me too well. She is so loyal to us both it would be best for her to know."
"Well, tell her then. I trust your judgement. Fox, look at me."
I raise my head and he pulls me close looking into my eyes he asks just one question.
"What's your ring size?"
I nearly strangle him when I hug him and he chuckles softly in my ear. I'm not so excited that I forget to tell him the size. He kisses me again and turns me toward the bedroom. Get dressed he orders and I jump to obey.
For the first time ever I'm looking forward to a budget meeting. Not for the meeting you understand but to watch people react to Fox Mulder showing up after an obviously busy weekend. I made sure to mark him where he couldn't hide them. After this mornings discussion I won't do that to him again. Oh he'll be marked, but they just won't show, except for the ring I'll go shopping for today. I expect his body will always show some signs of my ownership.
That reminds me I must call a friend and see if we can use his cabin this weekend. I did promise Fox I would give him a time and place where he could scream all he needed to. He told me he likes games. Time to find out what kind. I love to play.
He had followed me up to my office, I think to avoid Scully. So I told him to make himself useful and get us coffee. He paces back and forth until I tell him to sit. We only have a short time until the meeting and Kim is trying to give me messages. She glances at him and I can see the wheels turning. As with Scully Kim will have to be told. I know I can trust her and there will be times when she will need to do things to cover for us.
"Kim are you free for lunch today?"
Fox turns to me his eyes wide and questioning.
"Yes sir I am."
"Good I'd like to take you to lunch. Make us reservations for say, one. If that will work for you."
She agrees and then leaves closing the door behind her. Fox moves to the desk quickly asking in a low voice what is going on.
"She, is my Scully. She has to know, might as well get it taken care of today. She is already processing the information we have given her this morning and I want to be sure she has reached the correct conclusion."
"Well, Fox you don't usually tag behind me into my office in the morning. She's never seen you get me coffee before and you didn't even ask how I take it. You have also seemed to have lost all sense of personal space and have been in mine a lot since we got here. And you called me Walter when you gave me the coffee."
He looks at me with his mouth hanging open and I can see him going back over the events of the morning. I can't really complain about the personal space thing since I pretty much conditioned him to be close to me over the last two days. Over forty-eight hours of having someone's hands, mouth, and cock on you or in you would tend to make you expect to be close to them. I smile to let him know that I'm not upset.
He moves to sit across the room and I finish looking over my messages before the meeting. We are in place when the meeting starts and I watch as Scully enters and moves toward him. Watch her eyes zero in on his throat and watch him turn pink. She asks where he's been and he uses the car in the shop story as the reason he didn't show up downstairs before the meeting. I hear him quietly ask her if they can go out for lunch later. He looks at me as she answers and I give him a quick nod. It's best that we both take care of this right away. I feel a surge of pride that he wants Scully to know about us.
I sit back watching people arrive and watch the expressions when they notice my lover's neck. There are a few leers directed toward Scully and I smile inwardly knowing that he is mine. The meeting goes well for a change. Fox is quiet and I catch him several times with a soft daydreaming look on his face. I smile to myself thinking that if I had known it would make him this mellow I would have fucked him years ago.
It's one before I know it and Kim comes in to ask if we are still going to lunch. I hurry to get my coat and we leave for lunch. I notice a few questioning looks as we leave the building together and think that the gossips will have a new rumor all over the building by the time we get back.
I wait until we order before I bring up the subject that I need to discuss with her.
"Kim, I know you are the best assistant at the JEH. I rely on you more than you know and you have always come through for me. I trust you and know what I'm about to tell you will be kept in strictest confidence."
"Thank you, Sir, for your faith in me. I, of course would never divulge anything you tell me in confidence."
I smile at her and plow right in. Nothing like getting to the point.
"I know you saw Mulder's behavior toward me this morning. I know how smart you are and that you have probably been processing that data all day. I just want to be sure you have reached the correct conclusions."
We are interrupted when the waiter brings our salad and before I can continue she tells me exactly what conclusions she reached.
"Sir, I've known that Agent Mulder is in love with you for quite some time. He isn't good at hiding his emotions like you. The times you were injured his eyes were so frightened. Today he looked very happy. He was also more relaxed than I've ever seen him, even with the pacing. He was worried about telling Agent Scully wasn't he?"
"Yes I suppose so. He was going to take her to lunch today too. I know you understand that we can't come out. His work is too important and he needs me at his back. If this came out the best we could hope for is that he would be transferred to another supervisor. More probably I would be fired. They would deny that it had anything to do with my sexual preference but the end result would be the same. His work would come to an end."
"I'll do whatever I can to help, Sir. You know that the gossips think you are doing me on your desk anyway. Us leaving for lunch will just add fuel to that fire."
She smiles as she tells me this but I still feel guilty particularly since I had thought about that as we were leaving work.
"Kim, I'm sorry. I should have just met you for lunch."
"No, Sir, it's better this way. If they are gossiping about us they won't be looking that closely at you and Agent Mulder."
"Kim, outside of work make it Walter and Mulder."
She giggles at me and I give her a questioning look.
"Do you call him Mulder when you ah ?"
She leaves that hanging and I throw back my head and laugh. I can't help it. Quiet Kim is surprising me left and right today. When I get my laughter under control I realize that we are being watched. Fox and Scully are across the room from us. I smile and nod to them and turn back to Kim assuring her that I don't call him Mulder when he is in my bed. No details mind you, but just that he is Fox to me now.
Continued in Part 3
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