Title: The Fine Line Between Pain and Pleasure
Author: Peach
Email address: Peach1250@hotmail.com
Fandom: X-Files
Pairings: Skinner/Mulder
Warnings: This story starts out in a manner that most people will find violent. It has explicit sexual content between two men. If you are offended by such things this is not a story for you. Turn back now. Later parts of the story will deal with BDSM games between the men in the story.
Rating: NC17
Date: 10/2/00
Archive: Anywhere just let me know
Disclaimer: The characters of Scully, Skinner and Mulder, and the X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 1013 Productions and the Fox Network. No copyright Infringement is intended and no money is being made from this.
Summary: Skinner and Mulder consummate their relationship.

Part 1: The vocabulary of pleasure depends on the imagery of pain.

Mulder's POV

I stand in front of the full-length mirror still wet from the shower. Looking at my body, I know that if a doctor were to see me now he would think I had been gang raped. There are multiple bite marks over my body as well as finger shaped bruises. Bruises from him sucking at my skin. My lips are swollen and blood was drawn at some point during last nights or this mornings activities. My fingers move over my body touching each mark remembering his voice, his scent, his hands, and his cock deep inside me.

Activities. A rather cold word for something that was anything but cold. I'm marked as much to remind me that I am now owned as for his pleasure. There was nothing gentle about what happened between us. He was claiming me. Showing me just how much I would endure to be his. Showing me his power. I welcomed the pain, it made me his. There would be no turning back.

I lean forward looking at the deep bite marks on my shoulders. One for each time he came inside me. Each time he filled me to overflowing. The lack of a condom shows his ownership of me as well. Maybe showing his faith that I come to him clean. That there is no need for barriers between us.

I pick up a towel to dry my hair and find that even my scalp is sore. I remember his hand pulling my head back by my hair as his teeth clamped into my throat. I finish drying and go into my bedroom to get dressed.

Standing in front the dresser I zone out for a few moments. Remembering.

I had gone to his place on some pretext the night before. He opened the door standing there in nothing but a pair of running shorts. My breath caught and no words would come.

"What do you want now? Work doesn't give you enough opportunities to annoy me? Now you have to show up on my doorstep on Friday night." His voice was a harsh growl and his eyes burned me as they raked over me.

When the eyes met mine I could see everything fall into place for him. His hand reached for me pulling me inside and slamming the door. He pushed me back against the door leaning into me. I couldn't breathe he was consuming all the air in the room. His eyes searched mine looking for something, something I never realized was there.

Backing away from me he spoke, "I see what you want now. I'll give you one last chance to turn and go out that door. Do it now or submit to me, be owned by me. I warn you I will hurt you. Don't expect gentle from me for a long time. You have a lot to answer for. And I like it rough. Well are you leaving?"

The hard look in his eyes would have made most people leave. I can't pretend I thought his threats were empty. I knew he meant every word. I knew he would use me, hurt me, own me. I could no more have walked out that door than I could have stepped off his balcony and flown.

"No, I'm not leaving." I whispered.

"Speak up!" he thundered at me.

I raised my eyes and spoke firmly, "I'm not leaving."

"Go up stairs strip and shower. Make sure you are clean inside and out. You'll find everything you need in the cabinet under the sink. You best be clean, 'cause believe me you won't like having me do it for you."

His eyes were hard and the voice pure steel and still I went. Like a lamb to the slaughter I climbed the stairs and did as he had told me. He had said inside and out so I wasn't too surprised to find Fleet enemas under the sink. I used one and then took a through shower. Washing twice and using the loofa I found there.

When I returned to the bedroom I found him waiting for me. He was sitting on the bed naked and for the first time I felt worried. He's not small, hell he's not average, what the fuck am I saying he's huge. Porno movies makers would love to get him in a movie.

As my mouth suddenly went dry, my eyes were drawn up to his face. Then he smiled a wicked smile at me making my knees go week.

"Thinking you made the wrong choice? Wishing you had gone out that door? Well it's way too late for that now. Come here." His voice was blue steel and his eyes black volcanic rock.

I moved toward him mesmerized by his eyes looking into my soul. Again the steel voice spoke.

"Before this night is over you will probably beg me to let you leave, or else you will never leave. Want to know which way I think it will go?"

I shake my head no, I'm afraid of his answer. He pulled me down so that I was sitting across his muscular legs. That was the first time he pulled my head back by my hair, the first time he bit me. As his teeth fastened on my throat my cock sprang to attention. He felt the change in me and looked down letting out a low laugh.

"You're quite the slut aren't you? Nice cock. Too bad you won't get to use it tonight. Have you done this before? Played rough I mean."

"Never like this. Only with safe words and negotiation before. Never with anyone I cared about pleasing. Never with anyone hung like you." The words came in a rush with a life of their own. Telling far more than I meant to.

"Good! I love new blood."

Bending his head he latched onto my throat again, that was the first time he made me scream. His hand covered my mouth cutting off my scream, but his teeth didn't loosen. He raised his head and looked into my eyes again.

"Some other time and place I will let you scream all you need to, but here you will restrain yourself. Use a pillow or your hand but do not let your pain intrude on the neighbors. Do you understand me?"

I looked into his hard eyes and nodded silently. What else was there to do? I had given myself to him to do with, as he liked. He had promised pain and I was prepared to take as much as he wanted me to. I love him you see and I will take whatever he is willing to give me even pain. Maybe someday he will come to love me.

A part of me shut down then. The rational part that should have told me to run that this wasn't what I should want. I became nothing but sensation. I felt him move me as if I was weightless. His hands and mouth moving over me bringing pain and an occasional flare of intense pleasure. There were constant whimpering sounds in the room and it took several minutes for me to register that I was making them. I lost all track of time. There was just the sensation he was giving me and pulling from me.

When he pushed me off him and ordered me to kneel I obeyed with out hesitation. I pulled a pillow to me and buried my face in it, knowing what was coming next, knowing I would scream. I sucked in my breath as I felt him probe my anus.

"Good you follow instruction here at least."

I felt him shift behind me and then suddenly the sharp searing pain as he thrust deep into me. The scream tore up from my toes and without the pillow I'm sure the neighbors would have considered it more than an intrusion. I was surprised when he stayed still. Despite his promise of pain he gave me a few minutes to adjust to him. When my breathing calmed down he began to thrust into me and while still painfully it was no worse than I asked for and received during games in the past.

I was even more surprised when he reached down and pulled me up so my back was against his chest. His mouth was almost gentle this time as he moved it along my throat. Thinking back this must be when the hickeys were made. A line of them from just below my ear down to the spot where neck and shoulder join.

His thrusts inside me were slow and languid, and my body began to respond, my cock hardening once more. Again he surprised me by taking it in his strong hand and beginning to fondle me almost as a lover would. His stroking combined with the stimulation of his erection hitting my prostate was causing the pressure to build low in my groin. I moaned the single word `please' not capable of more.

His voice was rough in my ear; "You want to come? Well you've been good. You may come now."

With that one sentence he pushed me over the edge. I erupted, gasping at the joy of him allowing me this. I had never come like this in my life. It was so incredible that he could bring me to this point. No one had ever made me feel this alive. It seemed to go on forever. His hand continued to stroke me and I sobbed with pleasure hanging there in his arms.

When I had stilled again he surged up into me again. Four hard pounding thrusts later he bit down on my shoulder. I felt him pulsing as he came high inside me. By this point I was on sensory overload and barely registered the bite. I was vaguely aware of his come running out of me and down my thighs.

He rocked back on his heels and held me there impaled until he softened and my muscles pushed him out. Even though he had told me not to expect gentleness he cleaned me up and then tucked me in like a child ordering me to sleep. Later, when I felt him slip into bed next to me, I expected to be used again but he just pulled me close and was soon snoring softly in my ear. I lay there for a long time listening to his night sounds before I fell asleep. It was the best sleep I have had since before Sam was taken.

The phone ringing startles me out of my fugue state. I grab for it and answer quickly. It's him. His voice sounds hard, impatient.

"What is taking you so long? Are you packing all your belonging for a run for the border?"

"No. I'm almost ready to leave. I stopped to shower." My voice is steadier than I feel.

"You could have done that here. You know I'll make you take another one. If you aren't here in an hour it's over."

The phone clicks in my ear. Panic blooms in my chest at his words. It was at least a forty five-minute drive there. I'm not packed or dressed. I grab my bag throwing it open and shove shirts, sweats, socks, boxers, jeans, and running shoes into it. I grab the jeans I left on the bed throw them and a tee shirt on and carrying the bag and shoes run for the stairs taking them three at a time. I hit the car throwing the bag in back and step into the shoes not taking the time to tie the laces. I run the red light at the corner hit the freeway doing ninety and pray. Pray that I won't get pulled over for speeding. Pray that there won't be anything to hold up traffic. Pray that I make his deadline.


Walter's POV

Well that was smooth Walter Sergei Skinner. He's not stupid. When he thinks about this for awhile he's going to realize that I was scared. Scared he wasn't coming back. Not scared of retribution. He gave himself up to me. He's too honorable to try and say otherwise. Not that they couldn't convict me of rape based on the evidence. Christ I left my teeth marks all over his body. Not to mention the semen they could extract from his body.

Why don't I just admit that I want him? Fuck, love him. Why didn't I just make love to him last night? Why act like a bull gorilla and hurt him that way? Yeah I had to take the heat for him again. But that's my choice he never asked me to do that. He didn't deserve what I did to him last night.

I tried to make him run. Sent him to get his clothes giving him another chance to leave me. Then I call like some lovesick teenager because he's been gone for three hours. I should have left it alone. Let him leave if he wants. Then I issue a fucking ultimatum that I can't, won't carry out.

I don't think I hurt him this morning. Well he was sore so it must have hurt some. He didn't seem to care. It was love I saw there wasn't it? Or am I just projecting my need on to him.

No, he got hard for me, he came for me. He didn't try and fight me. He said he had played rough games before.

I fix a drink and can't swallow it. Go in the kitchen thinking I'll make a sandwich but know I couldn't eat it. I need to relax. He's coming back. I know he is. He has to.

Last night I came like never before. Even in his pain he served me well. Gave me greater pleasure than ever before. He was everything I had dreamed he would be. I pace looking at the clock. Time has slowed to a crawl and I can't breath. What will I do if he doesn't come back?

It's been fifty minutes. He isn't coming or he's trying and won't make it in time. Why did I issue that fucking ultimatum?

The doorbell rings and I hear his voice.


Mulder's POV

"Walter it's me. Please let me in."

God am I too late. Will he even open the door? I drop my bag on the floor and knock on the door. The door is yanked open and he looks at me his eyes blank. Then his hand picks up my bag throws it inside and his hands are pulling me through the door. Again I hear the door slam and I'm pushed back against the door. He presses up against me and I can feel his erection. Then his mouth is on mine and his hands are opening my pants. Pushing them down as his tongue invades my mouth.

There are no words just movements. He strips me efficiently his hand grasping my cock and pumping me. I whimper as he keeps up his double assault on my body. I'm on fire, holding on for all I'm worth. I want to come but he hasn't given me permission. He pulls back from me holding my eyes as he continued to pump me.

"Come, Fox, now!"

His voice is a low honeyed growl and I obey. It lasts and lasts like the first time last night. I go limp when it ends and his strong arms scoop me up. He walks to the sofa sitting down with me on his lap. His lips roaming over my face. His arms holding me tight. I'm afraid to speak. I don't understand what is happening here but I don't want it to stop. The kisses slow then stop. I wait for him speak to me or throw me over a chair and use me. It doesn't matter which. He let me in, it's not over. I can feel that he is still hard under me and wonder why he isn't taking me.

Several long minutes pass then he lifts my head looking at me and his eyes have gone blank again.

"Go shower. I'll order us some dinner."

He gently pushes me out of his lap and I go to do as I am told. I can hear his voice as I start up the stairs. I take a long shower making sure I'm clean inside and out for him. I come out of the bathroom to find some of my clothes waiting on the bed. Taking that as a sign that I should dress, I do then head down the steps.

He is setting the table and I can smell pizza. He has placed a cold beer at each place setting and has a salad beside our plates. He motions for me to sit and we eat in total silence. I want to talk to him but he seems so far away. I don't want to be sent away so I eat and wait.

He silently clears the table and when I try to help he tells me to turn on ESPN there is a game on soon. Once more I do as I am told. He comes out of the kitchen in a few minutes and sits not next to me as I had hoped but in the chair as far as possible from me. I try to hold it in, not piss him off. Not because I'm afraid of a repeat of last night but because I'm afraid last night will never happen again if I say the wrong thing. I belong to him now but he isn't mine. He can throw me out any time and that I can not endure. Finally my nerves shatter and I open my mouth.

"Walter, what's going on? Didn't I get back in time? What have I done wrong? Please talk to me, hit me, fuck me, something. Don't sit there like a monolith."

I know my voice is whiney but I can't help it. He stares at me for a long moment. He gets up and walks over to the balcony doors opening them and stepping outside. I jump to my feet and follow him standing just inside the door waiting for him to say something or do something. When his voice comes I wish I had never opened my mouth.

"You can take your things and go home, Mulder. Last night shouldn't have happened. I'd take it back if I could but I can't." His back stays turned he doesn't even look at me as he rips my heart out.

In two steps I'm at his back and I yank him around, "NO! I won't go. I belong to you now. You told me if I stayed last night I would belong to you. I'm not leaving. You are everything I want and need. Was I just a piece of ass to you? A game and the words were a lie? I can't believe that. You promised me pain but you gave me pleasure too. And tonight when I got back you made me come and took nothing for yourself. You feel something for me I know you do. It might not be love but I'll take it what ever it is."

He pushes past me and goes back inside, moving toward the stairs and doesn't even look back. I stand there watching the man I love walk away from me and feel the tears start to fall. I won't leave not until he makes me. That decided I go and sit on the sofa and cry until I have no tears left and sleep claims me.

I wake early to realize that a blanket has been spread over me. A small kindness but one that speaks volumes. I make coffee. When it's ready I make a cup for him get the paper that is outside the door and head up the stairs. I stand in the door of his room watching him sleep for a minute then move to sit the coffee and paper on the bedside table.

I quickly strip and move to the far side of the bed slipping in beside him. My hands are warm from carrying the coffee and I find his cock and bring it erect. Then I slip under the covers and take him in my mouth. He's big but I'm determined to make this a good morning wake up for him. I hear a low moan and one of his big hand's wraps in my hair. He thrusts up into my mouth and quickly comes. I manage to swallow most of it and what I miss I clean up quickly.

When I come up for air he is watching. I smile and point to the coffee and paper. He gets out of the bed and goes in the bathroom. When he comes back out he settles back against the pillows I have propped up for him and picks up the coffee.

"Well are you serving anything for breakfast besides coffee?"

He doesn't look at me but his voice is calm and soft. I jump up and head for the door.

"What would you like? I do great breakfast." I wait for his answer and when he looks up at me I drown in the chocolate of his eyes.

"What ever you can find. I didn't go shopping yesterday like I normally do."

He picks up the paper and I go to see what I can whip up for him. Luckily he keeps a well-stocked kitchen and soon I have an omelet and toast ready. As I'm looking for a tray, I hear him on the stairs so I set the plates on the table. He comes in wearing a robe that matches his eyes. He sits and holds out his coffee mug to be refilled. He takes a hesitant bite of the omelet then smiles when he discovers that I was telling the truth.


Walter's POV

Well he didn't leave. I went down last night to find him sleeping on the sofa. His cheeks still wet. God not only have I raped him, marked him, but now I've made him cry. I covered him with a blanket and somehow got to sleep. This morning I woke up to the wonderful feeling of his mouth around my cock. He's persistent I'll give him that.

I give in for now and allow him to make me breakfast. Surprisingly it is quite good. He has hidden talents. After breakfast I go into the living room to finish the paper while he cleans up. When he comes into the room I know we have to reach some sort of understanding.

"You don't have to stay, Mulder. But if you want to I would enjoy you company."

"Are you ever going to fuck me again?"

That's the Mulder I know, makes it march. I stare at him for a long time. Watching all the emotions that flow across his expressive face. He could never be a gambler his face shows everything. His need, his desire, and yes, love all flit there as I watch. I'm lost and I know it. I belong to him as surely as he belongs to me.

"Well, Mulder, if you want me to fuck you come over here and get me hard."

The sun comes out in his face and he moves to kneel between my legs pulling my robe open. Before his mouth closes around my cock I hear, "Call me Fox."

Continued in Part 2

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